Cinderella Dressed in Yell-a

so i used something called infinite jukebox to cut out every other beat of this song and

well

here ya go

if I *SLAM*, well I nonna be, wanna be who geks to you. if I heh, ay I nonna be,  wanna be who’s into you.

but hwn wive head manna ood wive hun, must’ve done mcwhaff an’ puff aodood.

when I’m wock, yes I nonna be,  nunna be who’s wock for you. an’ na mungeh, well then fuck I do, I subley plin to you.

an’ I clankahoe I nunna be, unna be who coal to you. if I brokhe, well I nonna be, unna be who’s cold with you.

but wood wive hen manna hood wive hun, musta dub mcwhaff an’ *bloop* muff aonouds

nahnahnah, dahdahdah, nahnahnah, dahdahdah, dladadadadadadadah nahnah*bloop*nah, dahdahdah nahnahnah, dahdahdah,  dladadadadadadadah (hoh!)

when I’m luh’, well I nunna be,  onna be who’s without you. when I’m drmp, well I nunna dream, unna drink a pint with you.

AAH KWENG! well I nonna be, ‘nna be new good with you. an’ I cluddag! yes I nonna be,  ‘nna be who cob with you, gonna avish coooomb wi’ you.

but ood wive hung manna *bloop* ood wive hem yes the *bloop* dung man whaff an’ luff aonood

dahdahdah, dahdahdah, nahnahnah, dahdahdah, dladadadadadadadah (ayy) dlahdahdah, dahdahdah, dahnahnah, nahnahnah, dladadadadadadadah

dahdahdah, dahdahdah, dahdahdah, dahnahnah, dladadadadadadadah (eh) nahnahnah, dahdahdah, nahnahnah, dahdahdah, dladadadadadadadah

and not only are these things totally badass and stylish

they have 16 colour cones in their vision

us humans only have 3

these things can literally see over 5 times as many colours as we can

literally they can look at what we would see as a completely black space and see thousands of colours we don’t even know exist

these little demon-spawn can punch so hard and so fast that

IT BREAKS WATER PHYSICS

their punches cause water to boil and create a bubble underwater, which kills its prey if it has contact with it, cooking them from the outside

BUT IT DOESN’T EVEN NEED TO MAKE CONTACT

the collapsing bubble sends out a shockwave strong enough to kill anything in a 10 cm diameter due to pure pressure 

It’s basically born of false assumptions; folks were trying to explain how a naturally solitary animal could form such complex social bonds with humans, and the explanation they settled on is “it’s a displaced parent/child bond”.

The trouble is, cats aren’t naturally solitary. We just assumed they were based on observations of European wildcats - but housecats aren’t descended from European wildcats. They’re descended from African wildcats, which are known to hunt in bonded pairs and family groupings, and that social tendency is even stronger in their domesticated relatives. The natural social unit of the housecat is a colony: a loose affiliation of cats centred around a shared territory held by alliance of dominant females, who raise all of the colony’s kittens communally.

It’s often remarked that dogs understand that humans are different, while cats just think humans are big, clumsy cats, and that’s totally true - but they regard us as adult colonymates, not as kittens, and all of their social behaviour toward us makes a lot more sense through that lens.

The like to cuddle because communal grooming is how cats bond with colonymates - it establishes a shared scent-identity for the colony and helps clean spots that they can’t easily reach on their own.

They bring us dead animals because cats transport surplus kills back to the colony’s shared territory for consumption by pregnant, nursing, or sick colonymates who can’t easily hunt on their own. Indeed, that’s why they kill so much more than they individually need - it’s not for fun, but to generate enough surplus kills to sustain the colony’s non-hunting members.

They’re okay with us messing with their kittens because communal parenting is the norm in a colony setting, and us being colonymates in their minds automatically makes us co-parents.

It’s even why many cats are so much more tolerant toward very small children, as long as those children are related to one of their regular humans: they can tell the difference between human adults and human “kittens”, and your kittens are their kittens.