Cicatrix

Being extremely temporary confers on you the same reckless boldness as being immortal

There are four jokes in the span of 30 seconds and they all land. Prime Simpsons was something else.

“I don’t like this song because I can’t relate to it” skill issue. I’m mad at my husband I love my girlfriend I’m a lone cowboy I’m growing old I’m growing up I’m depressed I love my friends I’m perpetually horny I’m drunk at the club I love my husband again

Maid cleaning a massive chateau surely belonging to the richest people you’ve ever seen, and as she’s walking from room to room you notice that every single portrait is of her

i wasn't ready for that..lol

an underrated kink is corruption. i want to make you worse. i love to coax it all out of you and make you admit how hot you really think it is. don’t worry, no one’s going to find out. no one’s going to judge you. it’s okay, you don’t have to fight it anymore. just let it get to you. you need this.