on my vigilante shit again.

Dex still had a contact at the Bureau with high level database access that was willing to hand over complete files on anyone for the right fee. If he’d noticed that every name Dex had given him eventually wound up dead, he never said anything. Dex paid him generously for the information, and for his discretion. 

He’d been sitting at the counter in the diner for the past twenty minutes, trying to make sense of what he was looking at. Most of the files he got were thick, pages upon pages of intel. While local police could get away with falsifying records or making certain reports disappear, the Bureau had a record of everyone’s sins. Some of them were restricted and buried beneath mountains of red tape and black bars of classification, but a little patient digging went a long way. Your file however was only a handful of pages, and he’d re-read it seven times already.

There was nothing at all in the pages that aligned with the brief but vitriolic description Chris had given of a thieving, unfaithful gold digger. 

You were a third grade teacher working at an elementary school in Queens, living in a small one bedroom apartment. Astoria was definitely a nicer neighborhood than where Dex lived in Hell’s Kitchen, but it was nowhere near the luxurious price tag of the Upper East Side where Chris was. Your background looked pretty normal. There was no criminal record at all. You’d gotten your Bachelor’s from NYU. You’d worked two part time jobs the entire time you were in school. You’d graduated with honors. Your bank records indicated a decent teaching salary and smart budgeting, but apart from your bills and groceries, all of which you paid for on your own, the biggest purchase he could find in the past month that seemed like a splurge was a $77 tab at a bar in the West Village. So, you’d had maybe two drinks.

None of this aligned with the woman Chris described. It was such a jarring difference that he’d triple checked the information Chris had given him, and that he’d spelled your name correctly and hadn’t mixed up the numbers of your birthday when he gave them to his contact at the Bureau. It all matched, but it didn’t make any sense. The woman depicted in the file was not an exploitative opportunist. 

There was a picture of you paperclipped to one of the pages. It was a candid shot provided by Chris that looked like it had been taken in a luxurious living room with floor to ceiling windows that showcased a high rise view of the city in the background. You were standing in front of a big Christmas tree, your face turned towards the camera, caught in bashful laughter, with one hand outstretched in mid action of placing an ornament on a branch while your other hand cradled a different one. The longer Dex stared at it, the more the jagged fragments of the jigsaw he’d been presented refused to fit. You didn’t look the part either.

It shouldn’t matter. Dex wasn’t getting paid to unravel whatever tale Chris had spun for him, he was getting paid to kill you. Everything else was incidental. But something about this whole thing was beginning to not sit right with him. Maybe he was biased because he and Chris had gotten off on the wrong foot, and he just couldn’t fucking stand the guy, but the more he read about you, the more he had this gut feeling that something was off. 

You were nothing like his usual targets.

The only thing that stood out in your file was that four months ago, you’d seemingly made an abrupt move. You’d been living in Chelsea and teaching at the same elementary school for three years, and then all of a sudden had transferred to the Queens district in the middle of the school year. That struck him as incredibly odd. It hadn’t appeared to be a promotion, you were still teaching a third grade class, and your salary had stayed the same. Even if it had been some kind of offer from the other district, it made more sense that you would wait until the school year was over to make the switch. 

Maybe the school was desperate to fill a spot.

He had no way of knowing if you’d replaced another teacher for some urgent reason, not with what he had in front of him. He’d have to look into that on his own. But even then, he assumed the district would’ve had a substitute or someone who could’ve taken over until you started the following school year. The only other alternative explanation he could think of was that you had requested the quick transfer.

And he wanted to know why.

𖣠

Sitting at one of the picnic benches at the public park across from the school, Dex’s eyes were focused on the emerald green double doors at the top of the front steps from behind the dark lenses of his sunglasses. He had a book in his hands that he’d gotten from a local bookstore he’d seen quite a few times in your transaction history. His fingers languidly flipped the pages of The Talented Mr. Ripley in timed intervals that would appear as a believable reading length. Trying to keep a low profile as a grown man sitting alone at a park across the street from an elementary school was a delicate task.

He’d only been sitting there for fifteen minutes. School let out at two-thirty, and showing up earlier than the parents of the kids would’ve drawn unnecessary attention to himself. So far, Dex had managed to blend into the background as an even flow of traffic built up along the street in the bus and pick up lanes. People gathered in groups along the sidewalks and school grounds, waiting to pick up their kids, engaging in polite small talk or hushed gossip. 

A few seconds after his watch struck two-thirty, the double doors opened, and children started to pour out down the front steps. He’d stared at your picture long enough today to memorize it, and he searched for your face in the wave of teachers leading their students down to the sidewalk, still flipping through the pages of the book in those timed intervals. There was a surge of activity as children were ushered onto buses, helped into cars or handed off to parents that all seemed to want a moment to exchange updates or concerns with the teachers. 

It was difficult trying to track someone down in such a large bustling crowd, like finding a specific flurry in a swirling snowglobe. Dex couldn’t turn his head or lift it too much, not without disrupting the illusion that he was trying to exhibit. He had to be patient. Even if he somehow missed you here, it wasn’t like he didn’t know where you lived. 

Dex nearly shattered his own act when he saw a young boy that looked startlingly similar to Sami, and it instantly broke his concentration. He knew it couldn’t be Sami, the boy was too young. Sami would be eighteen by now, either in his senior year of high school or already graduated. Dex didn’t even know if he and Seema were still in New York, or if they’d left after Ray died.

Ray.

It had been a long time since Dex had thought about him. Reflecting on the past was a complicated tangle he didn’t like to get stuck in. He didn’t see the point in it. There was no use in questioning if altering the arrangement of cards on a table would’ve changed how they played out. He couldn’t go back and change anything. But there was still a discomfort that settled in the depths of what made Dex human when he remembered Ray, or Julie, and the role he played in their deaths. It felt like a dull blade of something akin to remorse pressed against his throat, not sharp enough to draw a drop of pure guilt, but enough pressure that he was aware of its presence. 

He didn’t allow himself to dwell on it too long though. Before the darkness in the corners of his mind had a chance to swell towards the center and hide the way out of the complex tapestry of introspection, he snipped the strings and severed the tethers to anything that threatened to pull him backwards in time.

As the young boy disappeared with his mother into the mass of people still buzzing on the school grounds, Dex snapped back into focus and remembered why he was here, and as soon as he turned his head, you were directly in his line of sight. The intermission of his illusion continued as he took you in for the first time. You were as radiant as the golden glow of daylight caressing your face. He flipped back to the front of the book where he’d stashed the picture of you from the file, paperclipped to the first page. The candid shot didn’t do your smile justice. It was even brighter in person, and he could almost feel its warmth from here.

He watched you engage in conversations with parents, never once looking impatient or annoyed, bending down to hug your students or ruffle tendrils of unruly hair affectionately. It was evident immediately that you were passionate about teaching and genuinely cared for your students. That struck a chord within him he hadn’t realized was still strung. 

You stayed to see off every kid, even waited an extra twenty minutes for the little girl with the bumblebee backpack whose apologetic mother had been running late. Pretty soon the chaos of pick up started to ebb, and the park was clearing out. His window for how long he could stay without drawing attention was rapidly closing. When you disappeared back inside the school, Dex closed the book and rose from the bench. 

At the end of the block across the street, there was a cafe at the corner. He took a spot in a booth near the front window, where he could still see the front of the school. You didn’t have a car, so there was no reason for you to leave from the back lot where employee parking was. Dex had mapped out which subway stations were closest to the school, and which lines ran near your apartment. He had a pretty good idea of which one you took home. You would have to walk past this cafe to get to it. Pulling out the book, Dex turned to the front page again, tracing his fingertip along your smile in the picture. 

Chris was lying. Dex didn’t know why, but he knew he was. He’d already had a gut feeling that something was amiss, but the moment he laid eyes on you, that suspicion shifted into confirmation beyond a reasonable doubt, as solid as the book in his hands. Looking at you, he’d felt a familiar warmth and magnetic pull that he hadn’t been able to place in the moment, but now he knew what it was.

You reminded him of Julie.

There was an ulterior motive at play here for why Chris wanted you dead, and Dex was determined to find out. So, he waited.

𖣠

Almost forty-five minutes had passed. His mind wandered, curious as to what you were doing. Grading homework? Did third graders really even have homework? He tried to think back to being in third grade, but that felt like several lifetimes ago. Besides, school probably looked incredibly different since the last time he’d been in a classroom. Were you prepping for the next school day? You seemed like the kind of teacher that did fun activities with your students. He wanted to know what they were. He wanted to know what your classroom looked like.

He’d find out over the weekend when it was dark and quiet.

Finally he caught your figure striding down the sidewalk on the opposite side of the street from the corner of the cafe. He tracked you with intense focus, his eyes diligently stalking your path, waiting until you were crossing the street before getting up and leaving cash on the table. The bell above the door rang with a shrill ding as he pushed it open to step out, staying on his side of the street, following you at a leisurely pace with the book clutched in his hand.

He’d been right in deducing which subway station you’d take, keeping a safe distance while venturing down the steps after you, waiting a few feet away from on the platform. The sunglasses were now tucked into his pocket, but he pulled the brim of his baseball cap down to his browline, leaning against one of the pillars casually, his eyes occasionally flickering to you in his peripheral vision. You were looking at something on your phone, your attention completely focused on the screen in your hands.

Despite his disdain for social media and modern technology in general, he had to admit it worked in his favor. Most people were so engrossed in the little devices in their hands, they were completely oblivious to their surroundings, unaware that they were being watched. Then again, some people wanted to be watched, although they didn’t seem to be conscious of the fact that casual attention could also attract something darker. Pair that with the fact that most people also wore headphones, and shared entirely too much personal information online, for someone like Dex, it made the game too easy. But he still found other ways to enjoy the hunt.

Resisting the urge to board the same subway car as you, he stepped onto the one to the left of it instead and stood at the far end so he could watch you through the narrow window of the gangway door. His brows lifted slightly seeing that you’d stowed your phone, and seemed to be subtly glancing around the half full car. Your eyes didn’t linger enough to catch anyone’s attention, but enough to be aware of your environment and those in it. You’d also taken a seat right next to the platform doors, ensuring a quick exit if needed at any stop. Amusement tugged subtly at the edge of his mouth.

Smart girl.

Dex followed at a little further back of a distance when you got off the subway, now that he knew you were more observant than most people he tracked. He didn’t want to risk any chance of you spotting him. About two blocks away from your apartment building, you stopped into a cozy looking ramen spot. From across the street, he watched through the front window as one of the staff greeted you with a familiarity that only came with being a regular. He took note of the name of the place, mentally cataloging it as somewhere you frequented.

You stayed standing by the counter, chatting with the elderly man at the front, not staying, he mused. About seven minutes later, the man handed you a neatly tied takeout bag with a friendly grin and a slight bow, which you returned with that dazzling smile and a soft wave. He found himself wondering what it would feel like to be on the receiving end of that smile.

Staying across the street, he watched you walk up the front steps of your apartment complex, punching in a code on the metal side panel next to the door before heading inside. He knew you were on the fifth floor, apartment F. He’d pulled up the layout of the complex, and he knew your apartment faced the street. His eyes trailed up to the fifth row of windows, and a few moments later, he saw movement in the third one. Turning his head to look behind him at the apartments he was currently standing in front of, he dipped his head back to look up. There was a rooftop door in the building somewhere, and it wouldn’t be hard to get inside and access it.

Turning his attention back to your building, he looked up at your window one more time, already formulating a plan to come back later tonight.

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jessica lets out a tired sigh and then smiles, “thank god.”

“you didn’t have to stay and help.” she sets a hand on your arm and you shake your head.

“i wanted to. i’m glad you’re gonna be in the city more.” you shrug, bending down to pick up a rogue piece of lego by your feet.

“me too.” she says softly, holding your gaze.

it was too vulnerable, it made something in your chest ache.

you refused to let yourself love her, but maybe your heart outwitted your brain.

you set the piece of lego next to the building dani was putting together, swallowing hard when you realize how much this felt like home.

things had settled and for the past little while, you had allowed your walls to come down.

jessica was going to open up her office again, which meant more excuses to see her. but recently, you stopped needing to find reasons to be by her side.

“i’ll drive back and grab the last boxes, let you get settled in.” you stand back up, giving her arm a gentle squeeze.

“okay, you sure?” she leans in to kiss your cheek and your heart melts.

“yeah i’m sure.” you decide to be brave, pecking her lips before grabbing your jacket and keys.

you don’t see it, but she’s smiling as you leave.

-

you nearly knock into him on your way out of the building, coming to a halt when you realize who it was.

“luke, hi.” you’re sure you look like an idiot, eyes wide.

he says your name, giving you a smile, “it’s been a while.”

“yeah, are you back?” you don’t mean for it to come out as blunt as it does, but he just chuckles.

“i’m back, yeah. last update i got from her, she said she was moving some things back to the apartment, i figured i’d find her here.”

“she and dani are both upstairs, i was just going to head back to the house and grab the last couple of boxes.” you motion to your car parked a little further down the street.

“i’ll let you get to it.” he waves goodbye as he turns and heads into the building.

you walk down the street with a lump in your throat.

you should be happy that he’s back. you are happy that he’s back. but a part of you felt crushed, like whatever you had with jessica would be over now.

you had no clue that the night you arranged for luke and jessica to talk on the phone, she had told him all about you, and that he knew just how much you meant to her and danielle.

luke didn’t want you thinking for a second that just because he was back, you had to step away.

he wanted his family to be happy, and you seem to make them happy.

as you take off towards the house, you can’t stop thinking about dani sitting on the office floor, building with lego.

each piece was placed brick by brick, a precision only she understands.

and that’s how your life felt, meticulously planned steps.

but just like lego, the littlest touch could send the bricks tumbling to the floor.

falling for jessica jones and subsequently her daughter, had knocked down the tower you’d been building for years.

and maybe you were okay with that now.

jessica lets out a tired sigh and then smiles, “thank god.”

“you didn’t have to stay and help.” she sets a hand on your arm and you shake your head.

“i wanted to. i’m glad you’re gonna be in the city more.” you shrug, bending down to pick up a rogue piece of lego by your feet.

“me too.” she says softly, holding your gaze.

it was too vulnerable, it made something in your chest ache.

you refused to let yourself love her, but maybe your heart outwitted your brain.

you set the piece of lego next to the building dani was putting together, swallowing hard when you realize how much this felt like home.

things had settled and for the past little while, you had allowed your walls to come down.

jessica was going to open up her office again, which meant more excuses to see her. but recently, you stopped needing to find reasons to be by her side.

“i’ll drive back and grab the last boxes, let you get settled in.” you stand back up, giving her arm a gentle squeeze.

“okay, you sure?” she leans in to kiss your cheek and your heart melts.

“yeah i’m sure.” you decide to be brave, pecking her lips before grabbing your jacket and keys.

you don’t see it, but she’s smiling as you leave.

-

you nearly knock into him on your way out of the building, coming to a halt when you realize who it was.

“luke, hi.” you’re sure you look like an idiot, eyes wide.

he says your name, giving you a smile, “it’s been a while.”

“yeah, are you back?” you don’t mean for it to come out as blunt as it does, but he just chuckles.

“i’m back, yeah. last update i got from her, she said she was moving some things back to the apartment, i figured i’d find her here.”

“she and dani are both upstairs, i was just going to head back to the house and grab the last couple of boxes.” you motion to your car parked a little further down the street.

“i’ll let you get to it.” he waves goodbye as he turns and heads into the building.

you walk down the street with a lump in your throat.

you should be happy that he’s back. you are happy that he’s back. but a part of you felt crushed, like whatever you had with jessica would be over now.

you had no clue that the night you arranged for luke and jessica to talk on the phone, she had told him all about you, and that he knew just how much you meant to her and danielle.

luke didn’t want you thinking for a second that just because he was back, you had to step away.

he wanted his family to be happy, and you seem to make them happy.

as you take off towards the house, you can’t stop thinking about dani sitting on the office floor, building with lego.

each piece was placed brick by brick, a precision only she understands.

and that’s how your life felt, meticulously planned steps.

but just like lego, the littlest touch could send the bricks tumbling to the floor.

falling for jessica jones and subsequently her daughter, had knocked down the tower you’d been building for years.

and maybe you were okay with that now.

“if you don’t go, she’s gonna take it out on me.” he smirks and you scoff.

“cherry was right about laying on the guilt.” you mutter under your breath.

“go see her.”

“fine. only because i don’t need to stay with dex anymore, and you need to get to the precinct.” you stand up, hands on your hips as you think over a plan of action.

“yep, no more babysitting duty as an excuse to avoid your feelings.” matt claps a hand on your shoulder and you roll your eyes.

“i hate you. say hi to karen for me.” you grab your jacket and leave franks hideout.

-

danielle is the one who answers the door when the two of them see you approaching, immediately clinging onto your leg as you step inside.

“hi sweetheart.” you bend down to press a kiss to her head, feeling the weight leave your shoulders.

“mom says i have to go to bed, but i wanted to see you.” she frowns.

“i’m happy to see you too.” you brush a thumb over her cheek.

“okay honey, head upstairs.” jess walks over, ruffling her daughters hair.

she follows danielle up the stairs, returning a few minutes later to find you sitting on the edge of the sofa, wringing your hands and staring at the floor.

“does matt have a plan?”

“why did you want to see me?”

you speak over each other, making you both chuckle.

“you first.” she sits down at a respectable distance from you, but you can feel the weight of her stare.

“why did you want to see me?”

“because you rushed off earlier, and then i had to go meet up with matt. we never got the chance to actually talk.” she runs a hand down her face and you squeeze your eyes shut.

“what is there to talk about?” you murmur, pressing your palms hard against your knees.

“how about the fact that you did something extremely risky for us, and refuse to stick around long enough for me to make it up to you.”

“you don’t owe me anything, jessica.” you turn to look at her, sighing.

“okay, fine. but i still want you to stick around.” she moves slightly closer and you feel yourself tense, then relax when her hand rests between your shoulder blades.

“it’s not my place, jess.” you whisper, turning your head away from her once more.

“do i not get a say?” you can hear her smirk and it puts a piece of your heart back together.

“you just got charles off of your back, and thanks to your tip, matt sent dex to hopefully save the governor.” you try to steer the conversation away from yourself, and back to the situation at hand.

she says your name and you inhale sharply.

“let yourself have something good.” she murmurs, leaning forward to press a kiss to your shoulder.

you reach to the side for her hand and she takes it happily, chin resting on your shoulder now.

“karen’s trial starts tomorrow. matt’s planning on showing his face.” you run your thumb along her knuckles, finally feeling like you could catch your breath.

“you gonna be there?” she asks quietly.

you nod, lips pulled into a tight line.

“okay, so you should get some sleep.” she moves to stand and you fight back a whine at the loss of her closeness.

she keeps your hand in hers, gently tugging you upright and towards the stairs.

you scoff but let yourself be led into her bedroom.

it was a blur, stripping off your clothes and changing into one of her shirts, then collapsing beneath the covers of her bed.

her arm wraps around your waist from behind, face tucked into the crook of your neck.

nothing else needed to be said, because you both felt it in the silence, the weight of what you mean to one another.

“no, no, not at all. i’m here to get something from you.” you look at him, a glint of pride in your chest at how shaken up jess had gotten him.

“and what is that?”

“you’re gonna get me a burner phone, with a number to reach luke. it’s going to be untraceable, unhackable, and legit.” you hold out a piece of paper with a location and time for him to drop it off.

“you sure are putting yourself out there for someone who’s been playing house with someone else’s family.” he takes the paper from your hand and the comment strikes a nerve.

“and i think you are forgetting my background.” your hand wraps around his throat, pressing hard with a glint in your eyes.

you hold for a second longer, watching as his face turns red and he sputters, then let him go.

“right! the agent of shield, until it all came crumbling down. then a photographer for the new york bulletin, helping out a law firm and a PI.” he laughs weakly, rubbing a hand over his neck, “recruited by sam wilson to help him take down the flag smashers…it’s a wonder langley didn’t send me to offer you a job.”

“get me the phone, and don’t fuck with us.” you head past him, ignoring any of his further attempts to rile you up.

-

jessica looks pissed when she lets you in the front door.

“hey.” you smile nervously, standing in place as you close the door behind you.

“that was stupid.” she cups your face in her hands.

“out of anyone involved, i have the most protection. sam would help me out if charles, or the task force got to me. his reach is way above fisk, and you and dani deserve to talk to luke.”

she just continues to glare at you and you reach up to grab her hands from your cheeks.

“and how’d you know where i went?” you ask, grinning when she rolls her eyes.

“i know you, and i knew you wouldn’t listen to me.”

you reach into the pocket of your hoodie, holding up the burner.

“he’s going to call at six.” you hand it to her and she looks from the phone, back to you.

“thank you.” she sighs, pocketing it.

“anytime.” you glance out the window by the door.

“i should go.”

“you can stay. you know that, right?” jessica looks almost desperate, making you swallow hard and look away from her.

“im always putting myself in the line of fire, and i cant keep bringing that back to you and danielle.”

“i don’t know what the fuck he said to you, but you are a part of this family. nothing is going to change that.” she clenches her jaw.

“i know.” you give her a tight lipped smile, “i’ll check in later.”

you lean in and kiss her cheek, then head out the door, letting out a loud sigh as you walk away from the house.

you had been playing house with them, and maybe that wasn’t fair. but you’d do anything to help and protect them, even if it meant taking a step away.

“When’s the last time you got laid?”

Instantly your hand stilled, and your inked thoughts came to an incomplete halt on the page of your notebook. Lifting your head, you locked eyes with your patient, who was already watching you with a hint of mirth in his eyes.

“Excuse me?”

“You seem tense, Doc. Doesn’t seem like you’re doing much to relax-”

“This session is for you, Mr. Poindexter, not the other way around.”

Benjamin let out a quiet chuckle while leaning back in his chair, the chains connected to the cuffs around his wrists rattling. 

“Sweetheart, I’ve told you my favorite ways to kill people. I think we’re way past formalities.” 

He’d gone through several psychiatrists already. It was mandatory for his sentence, but he’d refused to participate. He was already in prison, and he had no delusion they would ever let him out. What could they really do if he just sat there and ignored everyone they assigned to him? 

The entire time he’d been here at Riker’s Island, that’s exactly what he’d done. Every time someone new was brought in, Benjamin would sit there silently, sometimes barely blinking, and just stare them down. He never said a word. Until you.

You were lucky number thirteen.

You’d been made aware of Benjamin’s refusal to participate in therapy prior to being assigned to him. You had expected to have the same experience as your colleagues. But for some reason, he was different with you. He did talk to you. Sort of. He could be incredibly evasive, and sometimes he made comments just to see if they’d provoke a reaction, but he would participate just enough to keep seeing you and you hadn’t been able to figure out why. It was as puzzling to you as it was to everyone else. 

Letting out a deep exhale through your nose, you gripped your pen and continued to write.

“I’d appreciate if you focused-”

“Little hard to do when you look like that, Doc.”

His blue eyes wandered appreciatively over the half of your body he could see sitting across from you, and a wicked smirk stretched across his mouth when he met your gaze again. His remark caught your attention. You weren’t wearing anything out of the norm. It was a dress you’d worn in a session with him before. He’d never made a comment on it before, or on your appearance, until now. 

All of a sudden, a lightning strike of clarity cracked through the clouds of mystery that surrounded him, illuminating an epiphany that made you feel stupid for not considering it before. Pausing your notetaking once again, you lifted your head to look at him, tilting your head to the side as you narrowed your eyes in suspicion.

“Are you only participating in these sessions because you desire me sexually?" 

Benjamin pursed his lips faintly with a casual shrug, that smug smirk of his never fading.

“If you’re asking if I wanna fuck your brains out, then…yeah.”

He’d never been anything but blunt and shameless the entire time you’d been around him, so you weren’t sure why that cavalier comment affected you the way it did, but it sparked something within you that made your cheeks feel warm. Attempting to appear nonchalant, you calmly set your pen down in your notebook and leaned back in your chair while holding eye contact with him.

“So that’s why you’ve been so well behaved.”

“Good boys get rewarded.”

“You’re not exactly a good boy, Benjamin.”

“Oh, but I can be.”

He didn’t bother to hide the hunger that darkened his eyes considerably, and it was audible in the sudden huskiness of his voice. He leaned in closer until his forearms were resting on the desk, loosely gesturing around with his hand, making the chains rattle again.

“See? A little good behavior, a little cooperation, and now we’re alone. No cameras, no nosy guards, no two way mirrors. Total privacy.”

Because of his cooperation, and decent behavior, he’d been given a few more privileges. The big cuff that covered both of his hands was reduced to just cuffs around his wrists. No more guard supervision was required, they now waited outside. And recently, your sessions were able to be moved to an office instead of an interrogation room.

Everything started to fall into place, and his revelation made you let out a scoff of disbelief. He’d planned this.

“And what exactly was your end goal, here? You thought you could just talk me into sleeping with you?”

Benjamin let out an amused laugh, his lips spreading into a tooth bearing grin.

“You don’t strike me as someone who can be talked into anything, Doc. I thought making an offer would be more realistic.”

“An offer.”

Your voice was dry as you repeated his words, sounding as uninterested as you looked.

He stared at you for a moment silently, and for some reason the intensity of his eye contact made something twist in your stomach. The ticking of the clock on the wall suddenly sounded louder, like it was right by your ear, a clandestine countdown you weren’t privy to. He didn’t look away, and you couldn’t. It was like you were stuck in some silent staring contest.

“Let me eat you out.”

Of all the things you expected to come out of his mouth, that was not one of them. Your shocked surprise must have shown on your face, because he smirked as he leaned in closer and dropped his voice to an intimate whisper.

“C’mon, Doc. It’s a mutually beneficial offer. You get to relax, I get to taste you.”

A dry incredulous laugh bubbled up in your throat, and you couldn’t keep it from escaping. Arching one of your brows, you crossed your arms over your chest.

“You really expect me to believe you’ve been playing the long game just to go down on me?”

“It’s not just for you. Like I said, it’s mutually beneficial.”

You couldn’t believe it. He was serious. As far as you could tell, he was actually serious. Very rarely did you find yourself speechless, but you genuinely had no idea how to respond to that. There was the entirely plausible idea that he was fucking with you, just to see how you’d react. He didn’t exactly have many opportunities for entertainment, and being in solitary confinement, you were the only person he “socialized” with.

Letting out a deep exhale through your nose, you attempted to redirect the conversation.

“Benjamin-”

“Again with the formalities. How many times I gotta ask you to call me Dex?”

“Nicknames are generally reserved for friends.”

“We could be friends. We could be very good friends, sweetheart.”

Leaning back in his chair casually, he clenched and unclenched his fists, making the metal of the chains connected to his handcuffs rattle once again. 

“Look, I’ve been in prison for a while now, sweetheart. Certain needs I can take care of with a little imagination, but not that one. And I really miss pussy.”

You were supposed to be getting the conversation back on track and make him focus on the session. You should’ve threatened to end it early for how inappropriate he was being. But when he’d clenched and unclenched his fists, it had made his biceps flex, and you unexpectedly noticed just how taut the orange jumpsuit was over his arms and broad shoulders. Had he always been so…big?

“C’mon, Doc. I’ve been good, don’t I deserve something sweet? I promise I’ll make you come. You know I never miss a target.”

Flashing you a wink, Dex’s wicked smirk stretched wide across his mouth once again. That should’ve been the end of the conversation. You should’ve ended it before, honestly. But you’d been curious, and now your curiosity had put you in a confusing situation, because you should be getting up and calling the guards to come take him. But you didn’t. And he noticed. 

“You’re considering it.”

“I am not-”

“You didn’t say no. You’re not walking out. You don’t even look offended or disgusted. As a matter of fact you look…interested.”

This time when he let his eyes wander over you with evident lust, you felt a shiver that straightened your spine despite there not being a draft in the room, and your skin prickled in response. He slowly tilted his head to the side, and it would’ve been menacing if he was threatening to harm you instead of offering to pleasure you.

“When’s the last time someone made you come with just their tongue?”

The heat that bloomed in your cheeks betrayed your silence, and his brows lifted, amusement breaking through the clouds of desire in his eyes as his words dripped with mock sympathy.

“Oh…no one ever has. Now that is a crime, Doc.”

A part of you felt ashamed for being attracted to him. You knew what he was, what he had done. Your brain was screaming at you for even entertaining the thought, for looking at him in anything but repulsion. But the guilt and shame that should’ve settled in your gut and made your skin burn was nowhere to be found. In its place was heat born from reckless curiosity, a carnal chemical demand, and a youthful thrill of doing something you weren't supposed to.

All at once you felt like a teenager again, sneaking out for the first time to meet up with someone you weren’t allowed to be with. What the hell was wrong with you? This was your patient, and he was a dangerous and violent criminal. This wasn’t just crossing a professional boundary, it was crossing a moral one too. But why did it feel so…exciting? Why did it have you pressing your thighs together and your body buzzing with anticipation?

Why did you want it?

“I won’t hurt you.”

His voice interrupted the flurry of conflicting thoughts and feelings he’d shaken up. He was still staring intently at you, but his smirk had faded into a more serious expression. There was a conviction in his voice that made you feel like he meant it. 

“I don’t know that.”

“Trust me, Doc. You’re the last person I want to harm.”

Holding your gaze, he leaned forward again, dropping his voice to that intimate husky whisper that had a flame of desire igniting in your lower belly.

“It can be our little secret. You don’t have to take the handcuffs off. I won’t even touch you if you don’t want me to. All you have to do is come sit in front of me, take off your panties, and spread those pretty legs for me.”

You glanced at the closed door. It wasn’t locked. Anyone could come in unannounced, and that would be the end of your career. That should’ve been the moment the logical side of your brain took over and made you walk out. But instead you glanced over at the clock, noting that you had twenty minutes left with Dex, and your eyes fell on him again. The tension between you was like a dense invisible fog that made it almost difficult to breathe. He didn’t say a word, he just stared you down with his offer dangling in the silence. 

You weren’t sure if it was even a conscious decision when you stood. It was like you were bewitched, your body moving of its own accord. Dex tracked you with his intense stare like a predator as you floated around your desk. He leaned back in the chair and spread his legs wide for you to fit between, and he eyed the hem of your dress hungrily. As you hauled yourself up onto the edge of your desk, you realized you’d never been this near to him before. He was even bigger up close.

He licked his lips as he watched you hike up your dress. Your fingers were trembling as you lifted your hips slightly to slip your lacy panties down your legs. When you slowly spread your thighs, Dex inhaled sharply, and his gaze zeroed in on your glistening cunt. 

“Goddamn, Doc. You’ve been holdin’ out on me.”

He didn’t hesitate to lean in, dragging his tongue languidly through your drenched pussy, letting out a groan as he savored your taste. The warmth of his eager tongue and the vibration from his groan made your eyes flutter, and you gripped the edge of the desk with a soft whimper. 

“I’ve been thinkin’ about how good you’d taste, how pretty you’d be.”

He took his time, taking another slow lick before turning his head slightly to gently nip at your inner thigh, earning another whimper from you. His pupils were completely dilated when he looked up at you from between your thighs.

“But I gotta tell you, sweetheart, the real thing is so much fucking better.”

Immediately his tongue found your clit, giving it a few swift flicks before suctioning his lips around it, and your eyes nearly rolled as you dipped your head back, your hand instinctively flying down to grip at his hair. He growled when you tugged at his roots, and the obscene sound of slurping was the only noise that combated your breathy panting and moans. The metal chains connected to his cuffs were cold against the backs of your thighs, digging into your skin in a way that was sure to leave indented evidence.

“Oh God-”

It was a subconscious reaction when you started to roll your hips, but he didn’t seem to mind that you were essentially riding his face. He groaned against your pussy, his tongue spreading you open and slipping inside you while you grinded your clit against his nose and clamped your thighs around his head. 

You hadn’t realized you’d grabbed onto one of his cuffed hands until you felt him interlace your fingers together and squeeze your hand, a silent gesture of encouragement. You tried to be mindful of the fact that there were guards outside, but God it just felt so good. Dex was tearing noises from you that you’d never heard yourself make, and he made you feel things that only a battery operated toy had ever been able to conjure.

“Fuck…Dex…”

He pulled away just for a moment to glance up at you and growl out a command.

“Let me touch you.”

You were nodding fervently in an instant, and Dex hooked his hands under the backs of your knees to pull your legs over his broad shoulders. His reach was limited by the handcuffs, and the metal was biting into his skin as he pushed the boundaries of his restraints to be able to touch you, but he didn’t stop. One of his hands firmly gripped your thigh, and with his other he slipped two of his fingers inside you right as he wrapped his lips around your clit again.

Your mouth dropped open in a silent scream when his skilled fingers swiftly found that special spot inside you, stroking it in a ‘come hither’ motion while pumping his digits and suckling at your clit. Both of your hands were now tangled in his hair, and your thighs had started to quiver around his head while your breathing was reduced to choppy, staccato gasps. 

“Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck-”

Dex grunted at how roughly you tugged at his hair, tightening his grip on your trembling thigh. He was fingering you faster and harder, flicking his tongue over your clit like a metronome at high speed. When his teeth just barely grazed over your sensitive bundle of nerves, you completely shattered.  

By the time you climaxed on his tongue, you were practically hugging his head between your shaking thighs, hunched over as a wave of raw pleasure cascaded throughout your body, leaving a tingling feeling of bliss behind. One of your hands had let go of his hair to clamp your own hand over your mouth to muffle a euphoric cry that was accompanied by wrecked whimpers as Dex kept licking your pussy, drawing out your orgasm, swirling his tongue like he was collecting sweet cream dripping down an ice cream cone.

“Dex…fuck…please-”

You begged for mercy with a whine as you pushed at his head, trying to escape his delectable torment. He still had his lips wrapped around your swollen clit, and the hum he let out that vibrated against the hyper sensitive bundle of nerves felt like getting shocked with a jolt. He chuckled against your core at how your body jerked in response. Releasing your clit with a soft pop, he finally leaned back to look up at you with a glistening grin. The lower half of his face coated in your wetness, and when he licked his lips, his eyes were almost as hazy as your own.

“I told you, Doc. I never miss.”

tags: @strawberrycheesecake262 @blueberrystarr

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summary: due to your reputation as a renowned criminal psychiatrist, you're assigned to a difficult patient at riker's island. during a session, he makes an offer that tempts the boundaries of your professional curiosity.

a/n: I can't say enough how blown away I am that y'all loved the offer so much. it was just meant to be a slutty lil one off for kinktober, a way for me to play around with an idea that had been lingering in the back of my head for awhile, and a chance for me to try my hand at writing for dex. your excitement made me so excited, and i've been having so much fun with this. thank you thank you thank you again. 🖤

if you'd like to be notified for updates, feel free to join the taglist here!

»— anything marked with an astrik contains explicit content. minors dni.

»— all work is my own. please do not repost anywhere else without my consent.

session one: the offer

session two: the rules

session three: the complication

session four: the final session

termination: the escape

For the past forty eight hours, all you’d been able to think about was what had happened in that office with Dex and the potential catastrophic fallout that could ensue. After he was taken back to solitary, you returned home to your own later that night, your stomach twisted in knots with the frayed ends of each boundary you’d crossed. The heat of the moment had long passed, leaving behind the lingering chill of consequences.

Walking down the familiar hallway of the prison towards your office on Friday morning, you bypassed pleasantries and avoided the usual morning greetings, afraid to look anyone in the eye, as if they’d be able to see your sin with one guilty glance. You still had no idea what Dex’s true motivation was for being “cooperative”. All you had to go on was his word, which wasn’t substantial coming from someone who could lie and manipulate with the effortless ease of breathing.

What if it was all a game, just to see what you’d do? A trap you’d voluntarily tangled yourself into for his own entertainment. He couldn’t brag about his victory to the other inmates, but he could to the guards. Would they believe him? Would they take it to the warden? Did he already know? Were you completely fucked?

The only person who had those answers was currently being led into your office, grinning like the cat that ate the canary. He didn’t take his eyes off you once as he was guided in and sat down, the chains rattling while he was being cuffed to the table. Not even a second after the door clicked shut behind the last guard, Dex leaned back in the chair and spread his legs, flashing you a cocky smirk.

“On the desk, Doc.”

Your eyes narrowed in annoyance at his audacity to give commands while he was the one bound.

“No.”

The smirk suddenly vanished from his mouth, a flurry of surprise, confusion, and something that almost resembled panic clearing the darkened clouds of lust from his eyes. He abruptly sat up straight, beginning to notice the closed off body language you exuded with your arms crossed over your chest, and the intentional decision to stand behind your desk to put a physical barrier between the two of you.

“What do you mean no? Why?”

“Did you tell anyone?”

He seemed further perplexed by your inquisition.

“Tell anyone what?”

Normally you were able to keep a level head and remain calm in any situation, it was essential in your profession, but the anxiety that had been compounding over the last two days had eroded your patience and left your nerves raw and exposed.

“Don’t fuck with me, Benjamin. Did you tell anyone what happened on Wednesday?”

His eyes widened slightly, caught off guard by your unprecedented outburst, and then it was like you could see a light bulb go off in his head, only you weren’t privy to his enlightenment. His shoulders relaxed as he leaned back in the chair again, arching one of his brows while an amused smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth.

“Is that what’s got you all amped up?”

The silent scowl you gave him seemed to be confirmation enough, and he let out a deep chuckle.

“Doc, do you think if I told anyone I was fucking around with my psychiatrist, I’d get to keep seeing you?”

A furrow of annoyance nestled between your brows and you placed your hands on your hips.

“No, because I’d lose my job, be stripped of all my certifications and licensing, and probably end up in the cell next to you.”

Dex let out another laugh that rumbled deep in his chest, which only aggravated you further.

“Sweetheart, getting eaten out by a patient isn’t exactly grounds for solitary confinement in a maximum security prison. Besides, even if anyone did find out somehow, I’d deny everything.”

Your aggravation dissipated quickly, painted over with streaks of curiosity and confusion. There was a familiar hint of conviction in his voice, the same one you’d heard when he said he wouldn’t hurt you.

“Why?”

Now it was his turn to look puzzled. His brows lifted for a moment before they knit together, and he spoke in a cadence that made it seem like the answer was obvious.

“I just told you. I wouldn’t get to keep seeing you."

Blinking a few times, you just stared over at him, like your brain couldn’t process the simplicity of his answer.

“That’s it? That’s all you want? Just…to keep seeing me?”

That familiar smirk spread across his lips, and he leaned forward slightly, his voice dropping to an intimate volume as if he were sharing a secret, although it was just the two of you in the room.

“Well, I think I made it clear the other day that I want to do more than see you, Doc.”

He grinned at the way your body language and expression immediately changed, letting out another deep chuckle before he leaned back in his seat once again.

“You know, I realize that I’m not the most trustworthy person, but I’m a little wounded you think so low of me.”

“You’ve spent your entire life lying and manipulating your way into and out of every situation, can you blame me for being suspicious of your intentions?”

“I suppose not. But I’ve never lied to you, or tried to manipulate you. Why would I start now?”

“Limited opportunities for entertainment.”

Dex grinned again, letting his eyes wander shamelessly over you.

“Oh, but you’ve given me plenty of material to keep myself entertained with.”

A beat of silence passed where the two of you just stared at each other. Dex had evident hunger in his intense gaze, and your body was warming up from the heat of it, but he could still see the hesitation in your eyes. He let out a deep exhale through his nose and leaned forward, resting his forearms on the desk.

“Look, let me put this as plainly as possible so we’re on the same page. I want to keep seeing you, Doc. I want to keep tasting you, I want to keep touching you. I want whatever you’ll give me, and I’ll do whatever it takes to get it. Now, will you please sit your pretty little ass on the desk and spread your legs for me?”

You should say no. You should nip this in the bud now. Even if Dex meant what he said, every second you didn’t jump back to the right side of your moral and professional boundaries led you closer and closer to some kind of fallout, and since there wasn’t much left they could do to punish Dex, all the retribution would be placed on you.

But the thrill of it all was just so goddamn enticing. That unrestrained hunger he displayed, when had you ever experienced that before? You knew from his file he had a tendency to be obsessive, to fixate on someone and bind himself to them, to offer up whatever he had to in order to be rewarded with acceptance and praise.

And now that someone was you.

It was addictive to be craved so ravenously. To be the object of unrestrained and raw desire. Never had your pleasure been the sole purpose behind someone’s interest in you, but that was all Dex wanted. To please you. The epiphany that you could bring a man like him to his knees with a snap of your fingers was a rush that made you feel almost dizzy. You’d gotten a taste of forbidden fruit, and it was too delectable to not go back for another taste. But you weren't completely blinded by lust to not consider caution.

“I think we need to establish some rules.”

Dex eyed you in curiosity, and his tone betrayed his perplexity.

“Rules?”

“I think you need to remember that you’re the one in handcuffs. You don’t get to come in here and make demands. You get what I allow you to have, when I allow you to have it. If we do this, it’s on my terms, and I have conditions.”

Dex sat up straighter, his intense attention locked solely on you. There was no smug smirk, no mirth or defiance in his eyes, nothing but a serious portrait of focus.

“Tell me.”

“You still have to participate in these sessions. I can’t see you three times a week and have nothing to report. I have to show them we’re making some kind of progress. You also have to keep behaving and cooperating outside of this office. And I want you to promise me that everything that happens in this room stays between us.”

Without hesitation, Dex gave you a firm nod.

“I promise.”

When you didn’t immediately look relieved or come around your desk towards him, he arched one of his brows with a subtle amused smile, curling his thumb and first three fingers inside his right palm before extending his pinky out towards you.

“You want me to pinky swear, Doc?”

“Shut up.”

He laughed at the look on your face and the grumble in your voice. Your eyes dropped down to his juvenile offer before looking up at him again. Finally rounding the corner of your desk, you locked your pinky with his.

“These are sacred oaths. You’re not allowed to break them.”

“I’m aware.”

Dex’s eyes were sparkling with mischief as he tilted his head to the side.

“Anything else, Doc?”

“Yeah, don’t walk in here again smiling like you’ve seen me naked.”

Dex’s lips split in a wolfish grin, and his eyes dropped down to your skirt, licking his lips before looking up at you again.

“Technically I haven’t. I’d love to, though.”

He tapped his fingers on the desk, a silent signal for you to sit. But you had other plans. You wanted to see how far his obedience went. You did lift yourself up onto your desk, but off to the side of it instead of in between his spread legs.

“I want something else."

Dex’s gaze dropped down to your legs, and a flash of excitement struck in them like lightning before the clouds of lust darkened his irises.

“What do you want?”

Ever since he’d mentioned taking care of his needs with his imagination, it had sent yours running wild. You wanted to hear what kind of noises he made, wanted to see what he looked like when he pleasured himself. You wanted to watch.

“I want you to show me how you entertain yourself.”

Dex clenched his jaw, and you watched his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed thickly. He let out a quiet breathy chuckle, and his voice was husky with want as he gave the chains a faint tug.

“I’m a little tied up here, sweetheart.”

“You can reach if you stand.”

He let out a sharp breath past his lips, and you could see that he was already half hard, the orange fabric straining against his growing bulge. He slowly rose to his full height, and you had to tilt your head back slightly to look up at him. The chains rattled as he stepped closer to the edge of the desk, until it was flush against his thighs. While your eyes dropped to watch him undo the bottom two buttons of his jumpsuit, he never took his eyes off of you.

Your lips parted slightly with a sudden inhale and your thighs pressed together watching him reach in to pull out his cock. A soft noise sounded in the back of your throat at the sight of it. You could almost see the veins throbbing insistently with need along his girth, the tip already leaking precum in anticipation.

When he held out his palm, breaking the bewitchment from his arousal, your eyes snapped up to his. He was breathing heavier, and there was a muddled look in his eyes of pleading and expectation. Looking down at his outstretched palm again, it suddenly clicked what he wanted from you. Lifting your gaze to his again, you leaned over as your tongue collected a generous amount of saliva from your mouth that you let slip past your lips into his eager hand.

He inhaled sharply, wrapping his hand around the base of his cock, using your spit as lubricant to start stroking himself. Your top teeth sank down into your bottom lip hard as you fell under his spell again, watching intently as he took his time, slowly gliding his hand upwards, swiping his thumb over the sensitive tip with a low noise in the back of his throat, giving the head a light squeeze.

“I’ve thought about you…everyday…for the last few months.”

He moved his hand slowly with gentle flicks of his wrist. The way he kept eye contact with you had your panties already soaked through, and you pressed your thighs together more firmly for any kind of relief.

“Especially after the other day. I haven’t stopped thinking about how good you tasted…how tight you were around my fingers…how pretty you look when you cum. And the way you moaned my name…”

He let out a low moan of his own, his eyes fluttering closed for a moment, letting out a shaky and heavy breath. He was stroking his cock a little faster now, applying more pressure with his hand, and your fingers gripped the edge of your skirt as you swallowed thickly. He was reliving it in his head, you could almost see the memory playing behind his eyelids. It was the same dirty reel that had been on repeat in your own head.

“Look at me."

You hadn’t noticed you’d closed your eyes until his voice made them snap open. It wasn’t a command. It was almost begging. He was lightly panting now, and his other hand reached out towards you.

“Let me touch you…please.”

Biting your lip, you scooted closer on the desk towards him, and you let out a shaky breath when his hand grabbed your thigh, his fingers dipping beneath the hem of your skirt.

“Are you wet?”

“Yes."

You answered in a breathy voice, almost surprised by your own shameless admission. Dex let out a quiet grunt and gripped your thigh a little tighter.

“Let me see.”

His voice was hoarse and dripping with need. Grasping the hem of your skirt, you tugged it up to your hips and spread your thighs. Your panties were so wet they clung to your dripping cunt, the outline of it visible beneath the light blue cotton that was nearly sheer now.

He was jerking his cock a little faster now, his breathing coming out in heavy pants. Between the concoction of your spit and his own precum, the slick sound of him stroking himself quicker was audible in an almost obscene way. Hooking your finger in the side of your panties, you pulled them to the side so he could see how drenched you were, a string of your arousal stretching between the soaked fabric and your clit. He let out a desperate whimper that made you shudder, and you could feel your wetness dripping onto the desk beneath you. You’d never been so turned on in your life.

“Fuck. Let me have a taste…please, sweetheart. Please.”

Slipping your hand between your thighs, you let out a soft moan as you swiped two of your fingers through your wet pussy, gathering a generous amount of your slick onto your digits before lifting them in offering. Dex immediately leaned in to take them in his mouth, his eyes nearly rolling when your taste hit his tongue. He moaned as he licked and sucked your fingers clean, stroking his cock even faster.

His lips were glistening with your juices and his spit when your fingers slipped from his mouth, and his breathing was ragged now, digging his blunt nails into your soft thigh while he jerked himself off fervently.

“Oh fuck…fuck I’m gonna cum…”

A sudden thought popped into your head that made you blush deeply due to its filthy nature, but it was also a practical solution. Hooking your thumbs in the waistband of your panties, you shimmied a little to push them down your thighs, leaning over slightly to slip them over your heels to take them off. Dex was watching intently, his cheeks flushed as he panted. When you held them out to him, and he realized why, he let out a groan that nearly made you cum yourself.

He swiped them from your hand quickly. Away from your warm cunt, the soaked fabric had cooled when it hit the air, and when he placed your panties over the head of his sensitive cock, he let out a hiss before a moan tumbled from his parted lips. His right hand was moving rapidly now, and his left darted back out to grip onto your thigh again. His eyes were hooded and full of desperation, and he was panting as he maintained his intense eye contact.

Your own hand reached out of its own volition, grasping onto the back of his neck to pull him down closer until his forward was pressed against yours and you could feel the heat of his heavy breathing on your lips. His pupils were blown wide open, and he turned his head to brush his lips against yours. But before either of you could steal a kiss, his eyes screwed shut and his face twisted up in pure pleasure. He let out a guttural moan as his hips stuttered, exhaling shuddering breaths. He came so hard it leaked through your panties and dripped down his fingers.

His skin was blazing to the touch, and your own forehead was damp from being pressed against Dex’s sweaty skin. He twitched slightly, his hips subtly jerking forward as he drenched your panties in his cum, letting out a relieved moan. Your imagination hadn’t even come close to how erotic the reality had been.

He suddenly dipped down to capture your lips in a kiss that left you nearly breathless with the force of its passion. His tongue parted the seam of your lips, and you could taste the gift of yourself you’d given him, letting out a quiet moan that turned into a gasp when he nipped at your bottom lip and gave it a gentle tug.

“Your turn, Doc.”

summary: due to your reputation as a renowned criminal psychiatrist, you're assigned to a difficult patient at riker's island. during a session, he makes an offer that tempts the boundaries of your professional curiosity.

a/n: I can't say enough how blown away I am that y'all loved the offer so much. it was just meant to be a slutty lil one off for kinktober, a way for me to play around with an idea that had been lingering in the back of my head for awhile, and a chance for me to try my hand at writing for dex. your excitement made me so excited, and i've been having so much fun with this. thank you thank you thank you again. 🖤

if you'd like to be notified for updates, feel free to join the taglist here!

»— anything marked with an astrik contains explicit content. minors dni.

»— all work is my own. please do not repost anywhere else without my consent.

session one: the offer

session two: the rules

session three: the complication

session four: the final session

termination: the escape

Dex had the curtains of the windows in his living room pulled open, and he stood in front of the one on the right, waiting patiently. From across the street, he had a perfect view of the back of Clinton church and the little garden behind it. The sky was overcast this morning, dense clouds of dark grey blocking the golden rays of daylight, but Dex knew she would still be there. He’d been watching her for two and a half months now, and he knew her routine like the back of his hand. Every Saturday morning, from nine thirty to ten, she was out there. He glanced over at the clock on the wall, and delight curved at the edge of his mouth.

9:29 am.

The heat from the coffee in his hands permeated through the paper, warming his fingers and his palm, and the scent of hazelnut escaped through the small hole towards the edge of the plastic lid. The flavor had grown on him. He’d gotten a headstart this morning, heading down early to the cafe two blocks over so he’d be back in time to see her. His eyes flickered to the clock once again.

9:30 am.

When she finally appeared, Dex felt the coils of anticipation unravel within him, and his posture relaxed as if the air of calmness that always followed her made its way to him through the pane of glass. His own lips spread almost instantly to mirror the smile present on hers. It didn’t matter that the sun was still hidden and the absence of it created a faint chill, she brought the warmth and light with her wherever she went. 

She always started with the flowers. He often wondered what it would feel like for her fingertips to gently caress his skin the way she did those soft petals. He’d snuck into the garden after hours a few times, following the path she took every week through the garden, letting his own fingers brush over the velvet vibrancies as he looked between them and the book he’d gotten from the library to learn what each one was. Dahlias and peonies, a couple Chrysanthemums, some Roses and Marigolds, and a few Dandelions.

After watering the soil and deadheading the wilting blooms, she usually cut a few stems for the arrangements she made inside, and then ventured over to the side where the herbs grew. He watched her cut some stems from the Rosemary and Sage, the staples she used in a lot of her breads for the church bake sales, before turning her attention to the Lavender and Eucalyptus. Every move she made was so effortless and graceful, and it was incredibly soothing to him to watch. When she got to the Basil, he knew it was time to leave. She always saved Basil for last. 

Dex looped around the opposite side of the church and went down a block before turning to head back so that it would look like he was coming from the direction of the cafe. He held the coffee cup in his hand, the logo intentionally facing out, and reached the wrought iron fence surrounding the back of the church right as she was finishing up.

“Good morning, Sister Y/N.”

As she turned her head, a bright smile stretched at the edges of her mouth, the same one that always appeared when she saw him. He still remembered the first time she’d gifted him with it two and a half months ago, the one that had initiated this unrelenting magnetic pull in his chest. It still felt electric every single time.

“Oh, good morning, Ben.”

Dex leaned casually against the fence, taking a sip from the coffee cup before gesturing towards the garden with it.

“So, you’re the reason this always looks so good.”

He caught the way her smile dimmed slightly with modesty, and she averted her gaze to her own work with a flush beginning to tint her cheeks.

“Well, the other nuns help too, but I do love gardening. It’s relaxing for me. And I like to use the herbs when I bake.”

Dex’s lips spread into a charming grin.

“The fresh herbs definitely make a difference. I don’t think I’ve ever had anything as good as that Rosemary parmesan sourdough you made for the last bake sale. I should’ve bought two.”

He relished in the way she subtly bit her bottom lip before her lips spread into something bashful, a hint of pride sparkling in her eyes.

“You don’t have to wait for the next bake sale, I could always make you another.”

Dex turned to face the fence fully now, resting his elbows on the dull speared tips of the posts, looking appropriately grateful but purposefully hesitant.

“I wouldn’t ask you to go through all that trouble just for me.”

“It’s no trouble, I make fresh loaves every week.”

“Well I can’t pass up an offer like that.”

He lightly tapped his index finger twice against the cup, a gesture that would appear unconscious, but it was an intentional signal to draw her attention to it. He watched her eyes drop down to it just as he’d intended, seeing the recognition sparking in them, and he had to make an effort to contain his pleased smirk when he saw the excited smile on her face as she pointed to it.

“I love that place.”

Dex looked down at the cup, feigning surprise as if he’d forgotten it was in his hand and dangled right in front of her like enticing bait.

“Oh yeah? Me too. Best coffee I’ve found in the city. You ever tried their pastries? They have a pretty good chocolate croissant.”

He watched her face light up with the same elation that always appeared on someone’s face when they discovered they had something in common with someone. It was a universal desire in the human experience, finding invisible tethers of connection that reduced the ache of loneliness. As she slipped off her gardening gloves and came closer to the fence, the sound of her soft laughter ignited a thrill that rushed through him.

“I love their chocolate croissants. I always get one with my hazelnut cappuccino."

Dex let out a dry laugh, feigning disbelief at this revelation he’d known for two and a half months already. Every Saturday when she finished up in the garden, she walked the two blocks to the cafe to get a chocolate croissant and a hazelnut cappuccino, every single time, which had consequently become Dex’s order. 

“You’re joking. That’s what I get.”

She seemed genuinely surprised by this, and he watched that effortless excitement fade just slightly. It would’ve been almost imperceptible to anyone else, but Dex never missed anything. She looked him up and down as if studying him, and there was just the faintest sliver of suspicion in her gaze.

“Really? I pictured you as a black coffee guy.”

He knew she was thinking the odds didn’t seem plausible, or that he was lying, feigning a shared interest in the way people did when they wanted to get closer to someone, which…he was doing. But he’d prepared an explanation for that. He gave a subtle shrug of his shoulders with an easy smile.

“No, never been a black coffee guy. It’s too bitter for my liking. Tell you the truth, I was on a vanilla latte kick for a while, but they gave me the wrong order by accident one time, and I was quickly converted. Turns out I really like hazelnut.”

The rehearsed lie slipped from his tongue with ease, and the bright smile that returned to her lips told him she bought it.

“Blessing in disguise.”

“It definitely was.”

He let just a hint of the burning intensity he felt for her flicker in his eyes and dropped his voice to a more intimate tone, just to gauge her reaction to the dual meaning. He saw the subtle working of her throat as she swallowed, averting her gaze for a moment as that heat returned to her cheeks. He held his breath, hoping he hadn’t overshot his little experiment too much.

“I…I usually go there every Saturday, after I’m done here.”

He detected a trace of hesitance in her voice, and he could see it when she looked at him again. His lungs were beginning to burn from depriving them of oxygen, but he was waiting to see which direction she was taking with this. She fiddled with one of the fingers of her gardening gloves, a subconscious action he’d learned to associate with anxiety or lack of confidence in a situation.

“If you…I mean…you just went there this morning, so you might not want-”

“I could go again.”

Dex quickly interjected before she talked herself out of what he hoped she was asking.

The apprehension seemed to fade with his reassurance, and as if she held some kind of divinity in her fingertips, the clouds finally divided to let the sunlight slip through when her sweet smile parted her lips, like she’d commanded the heavens to reopen with just one gesture. The golden rays that were suddenly cast upon her face made her look like an angel standing in front of him.

“Okay. Just…give me a minute to clean up.”