Only porn bots follow me

i would trust weird al with my drink at a party. granted he may put one of those capsules that expands into a sponge animal in it,

Dinosaur!! :D

This shit was so funny

Lls

Im screaming at the way the other woman signed vagina

i’m the kids 

count dracula? uhhh ok. one

everyone needs to grow the fuck up and start playing pretend with toys

It’s literally like…… help!! lol. help me!!!! haha.

you are doing ghost of christmas past torment to me

tumblr is so good. whole website dedicated to BITCHING and MOANING. and television

I've poisoned⁶ this post so it's⁶ taking constant⁶ damage⁶ over time, and⁶ I also turned on⁶ damage numbers.¹⁴ Ooh, that one was⁶ a critical!

idk who needs to hear this, but your partner should be making your life better and easier than it is on your own. if your partner is making your life harder, they're constantly stressing you out, if they're not showing up for you? babe you gotta leave, life is so short and we only get one, so don't spend it with someone who makes you feel bad about your life, you deserve so much better than that

he's gonna die one day soon and it wont fix everything but it'll feel great and the whole world is gonna fucking party together

"There's millions of Tumblr users" to you. To me There's only about 12 and we all reblog the same five posts from each other

Today’s Friday, though.

Ever heard of insomnia?