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keep the change

It's been a long day.

I appreciate that you are doing the Force’s work to make sure no one takes that duel seriously, especially given how much I want to cry every time I think about how Anakin EXPLODED WITH LONELINESS SO STRONGLY that Yoda felt it HALF A GALAXY AWAY and was so moved that he ALMOST wanted to forgive Anakin for killing the grandbabies.

….god, can you believe I typed that sentence out and it’s all EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED?

I KNOW. Why is Star Wars like this?!

That duel is hilarious, or at least FAR funnier than their other one (though let’s be real, it does not take much to be more humorous than that duel. There are funerals that have been more lighthearted.) 

I just love the end of Episode 4, because VADER MUST HAVE BEEN SO CONFUSED, and we all know how much I live for Anakin Skywalker being confused. Which he very often is. 

Where was Obi-Wan before? Why is he here now? Why did he arrive in some ridiculous old jalopy? Why is a young Force-sensitive doofus screaming in anguish when Obi-Wan dies? Why did Obi-Wan look at the kid and SMILE AT VADER before dying? And, importantly, WHERE THE FUCK DID OBI-WAN’S BODY GO?

I AM NOT MAKING THAT UP.  ANAKIN FELT SO LONELY AFTER OBI-WAN DIED THAT YODA ALMOST FELT SORRY FOR HIM AFTER KILLING THE GRANDBABIES. And then Vader’s ENTIRE INTEREST IN LUKE starts because OMG OBI-WAN???? WHY WERE YOU PAYING ATTENTION TO HIM????

AND

I WANT HIM BECAUSE HE WAS YOURS AND I HAVE SUCH COMPLICATED FEELINGS ABOUT YOU, OBI-WAN, WHY DID YOU LEAAAAAVE OKAY I’M GONNA BREAK YOUR TOYS UNTIL YOU COME BACK!!!! HE EVEN HAS MORE THAN ONE BITCHY FANTASY ABOUT OBI-WAN IN CANON:

AND

THIS IS ALSO THE GUY WHO ZOOMS OUT OF THE ROOM BECAUSE OMG OBI-WAN IS HERE.

And now, of course, I’m realizing that Vader starts thinking about WHAT HAPPENED TO OBI-WAN, HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE??? and it’s that obsession that reminds him of the conversation he had with Yoda at the end of TCW, where Yoda talks about maybe it’s possible to keep your individuality in the Force, that Dave Filoni and Leeland Chee talk about how Yoda planted that seed in his mind and Pablo Hidalgo confirmed that George Lucas said Anakin “had help from the other side” when he was standing there with Obi-Wan and Yoda. THAT IT ALL CONNECTS TOGETHER IN ANAKIN’S MIND BECAUSE OF ONE THING:  HIS OBSESSION WITH OBI-WAN KENOBI. Just. Just imagine Anakin floating in that bacta tank. SO ANGRY. And SO CONFUSED. ABOUT ALL OF IT.

Little ‘Soka is a feral kid CANON (I immediately thought about this video)

Sometimes, you just need a hug (whether you realize it or not)

“But— but- Satine!!” Yeah, bi people like women too, kinda how that works.

“But Jedi can’t have relationships!!” Then by that logic there are no straight Jedi either…

Also, they were acting like it was some sort of shock, or like it came completely out of nowhere. Obi-Wan is probably the fruitiest bitch in the galaxy. His ass was sat leg up in his council chair in his custom knee-high Prada boots while Windu was telling Anakin he couldn’t become a Master LMAO. There was so much chemistry in the combined five minutes that he was on screen with Cody that they became one of the most popular ships in this fandom. Disney confirming him as bisexual was just confirming what was already glaringly obvious. That man likes men. Y’all are just blind asf.

Edit because y’all still think I’m lying; The Padawan novel isn’t the only instance where Obi-Wan is implied to be Queer, in the ROTS novelization by Matthew Stover, when Palpatine hints towards Obi-Wan having an affair with a Senator, Anakin assumes it’s a “he” until Palpatine corrects him with “she”. This novel came out in 2005, he’s BEEN QUEER.

Palpatine: Your best friend is fucking a senator.

Anakin: This queer asshole? I mean probably. Who's the guy though? Gimme the gossip.

Palpatine: I'm trying to tell you your wife is cheating on you with your best friend/mentor/older brother figure, you idiot. Get on my level, you cannot trust them, they are traitors, do you understand me?