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clowngirl getting an orchiectomy and the surgeon just keeps removing ball after ball after ball after ball after

Goldilocks finished the second bowl of porridge, then activated the time machine and returned to the future. "Oh no!" she said, taking one look at the giant red swastika banners hanging outside her window. "This timeline is too fascist!"

The bear reached out her paw and took Goldilock's hand. "Wait! I know you don't remember our marriage, but... couldn't you still be happy? Here? In my bed?" Goldilocks shook her head. "One more trip. I have to make it right. I have to make it just right."

some hyper famous artists like Van Gogh transcend overratedness and become underrated because they're so normalized. Like I'll look at a van Gogh and I'm like wait this really is amazing you guys don't get it

Shakespeare is like this

Cordelia Sharp

She sometimes looks like she has a halo, but it's just the light from the LCDs and viewfinders on the side and back of her head. The majority of her body is technologically mutated, and you can extract the camcorder from the mutated addition and use it as a mundane camera separately from her body, although that would be a deliberate choice to leave her blinded and unable to speak or hear.

She's basically a manic pixel machine girl.

Someone asks her how her depth perception works and she goes, "Gosh! I have no idea!" And for the next four hours she's just moving her hands nearer and further from her face and sticking her face really close to things then moving back and she swaps out like three memory casettes and the next time she sees the person who asked she's like, "Hey! I found my macro function, check out all these cool bug photos!" which are all pictures of twigs and rocks actually.

She tries to keep her fold-out LCD screen closed, but it pops out when she's startled or embarassed. She has a DVD adaptor but doesn't like using it because not all DVD software is compatible with her menu buttons, so sometimes she can't play a disk or it goes right into the movie without any options for closed captioning.

If she's particularly frustrated she'll eject her current brain tape and throw it against the wall and try a different one.

She has cassettes for each person she's dating, a whole brain just for the people she loves. And obviously she's "pan" sexual.

She leaves her brain casettes with her lovers and makes them mix tapes of her favorite songs and memories.

Most of her clothes are like donated or stolen because she's got no job and is terrible at learning new skills, also has no acting, cinematic, or musical talent. Her breast forms are also generally in pretty rough shape, with a lot of slipshod repairs done through tape. She forgets she has them as they're mainly to get her gendered correctly (and don't always work). Strangers looking at her pelvic display make her uncomfortable so she wears high waisted men's jeans a lot, but around friends usually wears nothing below the waist.

Also, she smokes. She doesn't have lungs or a circulatory system, but she still smokes cigarettes. "How??!" She just shrugs, Cordelia literally has no idea why she's alive or how her body works. "You want a drag?" "No!"

Her skin is that cheap kind of shimmery matte silver plastic that you see in all the 90s electronics, combined with the rough textured black plastic from 80s electronics, with touches of 70s brushed metal. She has some fake wood trim on her back and if you look through the venting holes you can see pcb and vacuum tubes, but taking her apart reveals deeper and deeper layers of wiring, magnetic readers, disc swappers, deeply burried permanent casettes, with more material than should fit in her body yet not a single indication how she functions as humanoid biped with sentience.

Well I got hrt so I guess it’s works

also i am really annoyed at people thoughtlessly using the term crutch to refer to ai stuff because crutches are good actually and yet whenever someone uses the term they mean it in an apparently demeaning way. some people do in fact need crutches! idiot

we will domesticate the shark. we will restructure society around shark ownership. this is basic fucking marxism people.

Hate when I'm trying to find my luggage at the baggage claim but they all look the same. Many such cases.

i think the key difference between george lucas’s star wars and disney’s star wars is that lucas is a man with an ideology. someone with a point of view, and all that entails. which comes with ideas of revolution, anti-imperialism, challenging the status quo, cultural appropriation and racist stereotypes. complex and contradictory ideas because that’s how artists are: complex and complicated people. disney is not. disney is a corporation. a corporation can’t have ideology, because ideology defeats the purpose of profit. and when the only thing you do is to turn on the movie manufacturing machine before you sit down and plan what ideas are you trying to convey to the audience, then your results are going to be washed out corporate garbage. and because when you’re a giant corporation who only cares about selling to the widest audience possible, you can’t take sides. you can’t decide on an idea. because you want to sell your product to people who are on the entire political spectrum. which results in movies without ideology, without purpose, without soul.

I have been looking for this post for years after I came across it and it’s finally here and I need to reblog this because it is absolutely and entirely accurate.

#as I always say: lucas was making a samurai film and a ww2 flying ace film and a western film and adding laser swords#because he fundamentally LIKED samurai films and dambusters films and westerns and 40’s adventure serials#but disney are making a ‘star wars film’ and adding nothing because it already had laser swords and they have nothing else to say#xerox of a xerox baybeeeee (via harrietvane)