otages et trophées

was playing "fetch" with the ocean today by tossing stones into it and watching them wash back up with the tide a few meters away, and it got me thinking about grief and the things we carry with us even after we lose them

maybe a mildly hot take but i think everyone should be well acquainted w rejection. my goal is to put myself in as many situations as possible, even w the knowledge in mind that it might end w me rejected in some form. bc not caring about that leads to so much growth, & the more exposed you are to something, the more desensitized you are to it. i wanna reach a point where i don’t give even the slightest fuck about rejection at ALL bc i know that it had nothing to do w me personally. things just don’t work out sometimes

this is not grounds to start doing inappropriate things you know will lead to you being rejected btw. but it is grounds to start doing things you’re otherwise too scared of doing, for the sole reason you’re afraid of rejection. missing less & less opportunities the more & more you do

so I've been reading one piece. and I get it

you know what. I've avoided reading it for years because frankly I don't have the iron will needed to dive into a 1000+ chapter battle shonen, but turns out I've been lied to. it's not a powerscaler's steroid-pumped wet dream, it's a silly comedy. it's just jokes. it's just funny faces and jokes

my favorite emotion is when someone does something kinda foolish and all you can say is “i love you” in response

*booktok voice* Do you want to read a gay story about two guys who speedrun enemies to lovers, go against their designed nature by being together, who become unstoppable fighting side by side to much dismay of the gods who created them? Do you want to see one of them eaten alive by the grief for his lover when he dies from a godsent sickness? A book about someone fighting so hard for a chance at eternal life that he doesn't notice he is throwing away the precious time he has got, filling it with agony? Well, in the  2100 BCE poem of Gilgamesh-