take his body as a relic to be canonised

some people really do need to start reminding themselves that the answer to "why didn't the character just do [something entirely different]" is often simply "because then there wouldn't be a story"

but ykw at least i'm not on mount everest. at least i'm not paying tens of thousands of dollars to slowly suffocate in a 300-person line at the gates of hell. never in my life will i have to be steered in a hypoxic stupor through the maze of poop and corpses atop mount everest. on this earth a lot of horrible things can happen to you without your permission but there are a few that you have to opt into. you can just say no thanks! and be guaranteed never to have to be on mount everest. much to be grateful for actually

still not on mount everest this morning 😌 alhamdulillah

when you see something that needs to be done and you think “someone should take care of that” just remember that you’re someone

if you're really chill about a lot of stuff, you will eventually become The Person Who Can Be Told Things and unlock a secret extra layer of knowledge about your friends

I often complain about my life but one thing I am grateful for is that I've almost never been shot at with a cannon. That happened all the time in the old days and it seems like it sucked a lot

accidentally let slip "you will be buried in my pyramid when I die" to a coworker last week btw

“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

The Reblog (2014)

Bahahahaha love this

The Unnecessary Comment (2014)

The Delayed Reblogging (2026)

tomorrow

Always reblog NSYNC the day before May

Queueing this for next year

genuinely insane how difficult it is to participate in your own life

can we kill Charlie kirk again that would just really cheer me up

I'm sorry for doing that bank heist, your honour. It's just that, like, once you get to be around 30, it just seems to become impossible to get all your buddies together for some fun times, and sometimes you just get wrapped up in the magic of spending time with friends, and, well, one thing leads to another.

"I CANT HANDLE THIS" *handles this*

"I CANT TAKE ANOTHER DAY" *takes another day*

Thank u for this contribution