surprisingly adequate

patiently waiting for someone to fall in love with me. i refuse 2 date. i refuse 2 flirt or make a move. how could this go wrong.

sitting on and touching warm rocks…………. now thats the good stuff…….

viciously and fatally attacked by an unknown animal at Claire’s

that was no animal, that was Claire herself

the claire witch project

The way John Mulaney speaks is the vocalized version of When You Capitalise Every Word Like This

It’s fun to chant “Bloody Mary” into your car’s side mirror three times and watch her jog and try to keep up.

somehow I don’t think “master of the crabs” is a good nickname for a SO….

someone’s clearly not from Maryland

love seein pictures taken below cats loafing on glass surfaces so u can see whats goin on underneath, but it is a sin. thats private, we humans were not meant to see this

if i was a shapeshifter, half of my time would be spent making myself look androgynous and trimming up the things about my shape I’m not happy with, and half of my time would be spent making my teeth look just a little bit sharper than is normal, changing my eye-color subtly between slightly unsettling shades, and giving myself an intricate “tattoo” that just barely moves every couple of hours, until it’s in a whole new shape next time you look at me.

#i waNT TO BE AN ELDRITCH BEING WHOSE ONLY GENDER IS “ATTRACTIVELY DISTURBING”#IS THAT SO HARD GOD?!?!?!?!?!

GINGER ALE BE HITTING ALWAYS I COULD BE DYING OF EVERY POSSIBLE DISEASE AND BE BLEEDING OUT ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD AND TAKE A SIP OF Canada Dry AND BE LIKE ….. DAMN THAT HITS