nothin' special

imagine cloth mother and wire mother in family court competing for custody of the baby monkey

I Have Softness For You

i have milk for you

Stop.

Cut the baby monkey in half

in parkour civilization doms make their subs miss easy jumps as part of something called "noobplay"

thinking about when i mentioned tom and jerry by title alone to my 65 year old father and his only response was to laugh REALLY hard and say "him and that fucking mouse.." while staring into the distance. and then the conversation was over

i hate dogs with blue eyes. why is fucking jeff the killer at my back door

before this starts getting notes i have to add that this is not my dog. i dont know how he got in my backyard

someone made a terrible youtube video searching for the source of this dog picture like it's lost media and he on-screen scrolls by a live tumblr link to this post before claiming i deleted my account, pulling up a wayback machine archived page, and then lying about contacting my ex boyfriend for more information

youre pissing me off

theyre adding the stinky meal to mcdonalds

nice 2 know mcmonalds made meal for you

#if sir Walter elliot used reddit (@spookyohan)

oh my god this is me. i was addicted to designer amphetamines and completely delusional at the time of writing this. i had lost forty pounds and thought i was hot shit. i thought i was the reincarnation of Kurt Vonnegut. this was serious, and my friends laughed when they saw this go viral on twitter. it made me realize i had issues and im sober now. im also shocked i managed to stay employed at that time. To answer your question: im from LA but I grew up all around. I was living between Baltimore and NYC at the time. My mom is a beautiful Italian woman (Milan by way of Bolzano) and my dad is an insufferable Mexican from Montreal.

this is the most viscerally effective anti-drug PSA i've ever seen, not least because i think it's plausibly true, unlike the ones i normally see

if you're washed chopped and cooked then you might be vegetables

Tumblr posts by Bikini Bottom residents