i don’t want to be angry anymore i’m never going to hate again unless someone says something really stupid or if i see something i don’t like at all or maybe just whenever i feel like it

Hanging out with old people rules because after a while they trust you enough to confess to murder totally unprompted

Wait what.

Sometimes old ladies had to kick the ladder out from under their stepfathers when they were girls and that’s valid

My grandma murdered her first husband the first time he beat their daughter.

My college was next to an assisted living facility and one time we went over there to draw people’s portraits so we could get practice drawing older people. The lady I was drawing idly told me that she "dealt quite handily with her first husband” while making a stabbing gesture. Five minutes later she requested I make sure not to draw her double chin. I honored that request.

So when I was a child my grandmother told all these great stories about growing up in the Alaskan wilderness. Amazing bad ass stories about her and my great-grandmother. I recently asked my mom why my great-grandmother moved from Texas to Alaska in the first place. Turns out my Great-grandfather was abusive to my great grandmother for years and she lived with that until the first time he hit my grandmother, who was like three at the time, my great-grandmother got him very drunk and beat him to death then moved to Alaska to hide from the cops.

Men don't realize their life expectancy went up thanks to divorce.

My mom is a gastroenterologist and she once told me that the old wives' tale of people who died of "stopped digestion" was pretty much made up to cover up for women who got fed up with their abusive husbands and slipped some rat poison into their dinner (esp in rural areas). Local doctors knew who these men were (everyone knew) and the community pretty much nodded along when the death certificate said natural causes. The widow would dress in black for a couple years and basically go on with her life.

When Money is the Weapon: Understanding Intimate Partner Financial Abuse 

[gif description: a gif of Lucille Bluth from the tv show Arrested Development, sitting and unwrapping a cupcake as she says, "Good for her!" /end description]

the idea of tumblr being dead is so funny to me because it’s the only social media where i actually feel like other people are online at the same time

the fact that walls get dusty is ridiculous. you're vertical. act like it.

flint goes up to billy with his i will be your king monologue. mind you this is the pilot. billy looks at him like he’s insane and you (the audience) think that too. you’re like sure war is coming whatever you say my guy now go do cool pirate stuff. two seasons later he’s not only managed to convince the whole pirate world he’s their king meant to lead them to victory in an unwinnable war but you (the audience) as well. absolutely incredible character

trying to describe black sails to people is my personal sisyphean task. “it’s a pirate show” bad. “it’s functionally a prequel to treasure island but also it’s not at all” bad again, and also confusing. “it’s about pirates trying to destroy western civilization” mostly only true of the second half of the show and also doesn’t fully capture what i love about it. “it’s a pirate show about the power of stories, how civilization uses shame to keep people in line and turns them into monsters, and the power of queer rage. it’s got some of the best acting, writing, everything of any show i’ve ever seen.” the most accurate, but way too long and makes me sound pretentious and insane. send help i just want to talk about my favorite show.

i am once AGAIN thinking about the scene in black sails where flint has just been forced by miranda to confront his overwhelming grief over losing thomas, which has been fueling his unholy rage for the past two seasons. flint is sitting there, having a flashback, drowning in the tragedy and injustice of his gay lover’s death… then vane bursts into the room like a roided-up kool-aid man and immediately tries to kill him. 10/10, flawless tonal whiplash, one of the funniest moments in the entire show.

already this has tags in the notes like “#anti ai” but... this is just real life with almost everything. this is like grifter 101 please don’t exceptionalize needing to be critical of chatgpt.

This is literally how job interviews work, by the way, and then everyone is surprised the super-duper confident guy is also an incompetent moron.