i'm doomed, you're safe

My woke take, as someone who has worked in both a public library and a school library, is that we desperately need both more books that are at a higher reading level but a less mature subject matter, and more books that are at a lower reading level but a more mature subject matter, because 8 year olds who are advanced readers are still 8 year olds and don't want to read about graphic violence and torture, and teens and adults who have learning difficulties or who are just later readers for whatever reason are still teens and adults and don't want to read about Billy the Bunny going to school or whatever the hell.

My hate for the military vs my love for the 🫡 emoji

sometimes I'm wearing pants and just stop to think about how crazy it is that I'm wearing clothes with a vestigial slot for an entire horse

I get notifications like "83628 people liked your post!" and I check the post and it has 2 notes

attaching something to an email is so scary. what if i accidentally put hard-core porn in there. i don't think i have any downloaded but what if i do and i attached it to the email. what then.

50 shades of grey wouldve been better if christian grey was played by chris pratt and anastasia steele was a velociraptor

the "we need this version of [x]" memes always have me in hysterics for some reason

I love being an adult who always puts my hand out to shake when I meet a kid! every single time their face is like "no one does The Adult Greeting Ritual with me, is this a sign of respect or is this man simply unhinged" and then of course as we talk they realise it's both

They weren't lying, that sink can worst

I love the death grip after the toy was fixed up. Lessons were learned. Try to steal it this time you fucking bird. I dare you.