are you still listening?

the magnus archives might still be a podcast

important reminder that most people you follow online are significantly lamer than you think they are including me. and if you feel insecure comparing yourself to someone online: DON'T. theyre probably also lame and weird. most people on the internet are

reblog if you're also lame and weird.

i may have my father's worst traits but i am more ethical & virtuous with them than him

the nsfw ban on Tumblr is temporarily lifted every time you scroll your for you tab at work

i go absolutely ape shit buck wild when people ask me if i want to run errands with them like Let’s Fucking Go. and my mind absolutely maxes out of dopamine when they ask if i wanna stop for coffee. and if someone took me to the park id go bonkers in funcking yonkers

i got so high last night that i started ghostwriting for a golden retriever apparently

If I keep practicing I might even be a person soon

computa make my mutuals have a great day

had a friend who used to make new ones up on the spot. The only one that stuck with me was 'good golly jelly beans'. If something catastrophic happens I go for 'that's not ideal.'

When the pairing is so good that it doesn’t matter if you see it as romantic or platonic. What matters is that you see them and know that one is not complete without the other. Frequently bought together. Do not separate. If you separate them one of them will bite you

I don't know if the US players realize that you aren't supposed to pass the ball to the other team, somebody should tell them

Having a job is an awesome way to stay hydrated because you get so bored you start drinking water just for a little excitement