living in a coffin

𓏲 Price, Ghost, Soap, Gaz, Roach, Alejandro, Rudy, Phillip Graves, Makarov, Keegan, König, Horangi, Nikto

Price

A man of his age and rank is no longer afraid of showing the obvious symptoms of missing his beloved, and the letter he received only go to amplify those already tender feelings

As he reads your letter over, it's not his voice but yours that resounds in his head, your hand moving the pen over the paper and stringing these sentences together, by the stroke of the ink he can tell on which lines you hesitated and which ones you wrote in a frenzy as if in a hurry to get them out of the brewing of your heart lest they fly away like a winged horse

He only wishes he could hear these words from you, to know what was the look on your face, or better yet to stare into those cherub eyes of yours and forget every responsibility ever, deep in your eyes you reflect what is dear in your heart and with your mouth you speak it

This letter is nothing but a small looking-glass through which he can catch a glimpse of you in

Ghost

A man like Simon who is usually so removed from his feelings when in company of others, feels his heart clench when opening your letter and feeling the now dried paper texture underneath his fingers where your tears have fallen and dried

He always came back, but somewhere within your heart you missed the warmth he reserved for you, and with words you conveyed those yearning feelings in this letter to him

You had not wanted to burden him, your hand hesitating as you wrote out the sentences, but you could not wait for a miracle to tell him how much his presence was missed by you

And he knew that your absence made his heart grow fonder as he lost himself in reminiscence

Perhaps he would not know of this pain of missing you if he had not known love at all, but then his heart would have been torn asunder, in place of those horrid feelings that plagued his early life; a light flicker known as hope warms him when in your presence

He keeps these concealed feelings pocketed alongside the letter; only taking it out to read when alone

Soap

In a previous hc I had mentioned how he would adore writing letters to you, exchanging them like how Napoleon wrote to Josephine at times, in a desperate manner and without pause

Was probably tracing your face with his finger on a photo he's folded and unfolded many times until he hears he's got correspondence, has a faster reaction time than when he receives orders and it lowkey annoys his superiors

If there is a windowsill nearby he prefers to read your letter while next to it, as he softly murmurs your written words to himself and with each line his grin grows wider until his eyes come across blurred ink where your tears have fallen

He can only twist the ring around his finger, fidget with it as his grin fades and a sense of guilt replaces the giddiness his heart had felt moments prior, he had promised a lifetime next to you, yet despite how cheerful and merry you had attempted to make this letter, your tears are inevitable proof of your pain

Gaz

Being incapable of wiping the tears left on this letter by you, he clenches his hands into fists as if holding all his feelings back from exploding into a tempest, his unspoken thoughts he would share with you at the end of each day go unheard

With this bubbling up within him, he has no choice but to shut it away and try his absolute hardest to focus on the little words he has from you, he stares at the letter long and hard as if it were a passionate poem in need of deconstructing and picking apart to examine

Rolling each of your words off of his tongue, he momentarily forgets the longing for you that is present in his heart, but as the words from your letter have been cast in the waters of his heart and sunk in, he feels the weight of your affections added to his

There is a stirring in his chest and if you were there you would see it in his eyes too, he flexes his hand as they become undone from the tight fist they were in earlier, no matter how much pressure he applies the empty feeling of your missing hand in his is still present

Roach

This anxiety carried within his chest was triggered by your absence, the letter you sent felt like a small ripple in a lake of memories of which he longed to submerge in, a flicker of your familiar form would flicker in his mind as he read your letter, holding it dear to him

The wear of the paper made it obvious this wasn't easy for you either, he wished to be by your side more than anything else in the world, if only wishing would grant him his wish of waking up beside you

He reads the letter once, twice, then a third and also a fourth time, after that he keeps repeating the words until he can mumble them to himself as a sort of comfort, but each time he chants your words he'll make sure one of his hands is in the pocket the letter is kept in

Assuring him that this letter is not imagined, you have truly sent it and are waiting for him

Alejandro

These letters he keeps with him as if secret incantations he recites when in his worst moments, he whispers your quiet declarations of love to himself, a beautiful melody in his ears he wishes to hear from your lips in place of his own

Will you call him delusional if he admits to sometimes recognizing your shadow casted on a wall as he imagines you writing this late at night when it's likely you do not sleep out of your heart yearning for him?

But a certain letter from you stays with him more than the others, in this one it seems you've scribbled in a frenzied, feverish sort of way compared to its much calmer and sweeter letter counterparts, the words had risen from your intense feelings at having to wait weeks after week with only a letter from him

For you it had felt like eternity and for him to have to realize that it is him to have caused you such pain, will it is rather unforgiveable and a grave sin on his part

Rudy

Lovers have no chance nor opportunity when it comes to expressing their tender feelings for one another, and in this cruel world that kept you from him, he held resentment for that which kept you apart, until that letter from your arrived

Your simple and honest words had a way of making the aching in his chest harder to contain, especially when he remembered how your eyes showed unshed tears as your parted, without asking him for the impossible you only place a hand upon his chest and your lips on his cheek

He gazes at the sky after reading your letter and is comforted by the fact that while you're at home, you're living and breathing under the same sky that overlooks the yearning of two lovers

Clutching the letter to his chest as he rests under a star-speckled sky, which shines brightly, he digs up memories of your face and voice to lull him into sleep because even if the stars aren't aligned in your favor at this moment so long as he remembers the warmth of your embrace and the sweet enticement of your voice then nothing else holds a bigger piece of his heart

Phillip Graves

He's used and even looks forward to reading how much you've missed him in the letters he receives from you, but it's obvious this letters is meant to convey a much deeper sensation, having unearthed the ugliness of what your reality is without him there next to you for such a long, extended period of time is opening his eyes and making him realize the truth

Haggard is the heart in matters of softness to the point that prolonged strain like this will start to wear even the strongest of patient lovers, you're falling into dark despair and sadness without being able to have him

You've fretted and worried beyond your capacity and your only wish is that these next few weeks that remain will fly by in a flash so that you may embrace his familiar form once again in your arms instead of relying on past sensations which are starting to feel like dreams instead, you want reassurance he is still around and for that he can't think of a solution other than wrapping things up to make it back to you safely

Makarov

A man who is so sure and confident in meeting your every need even when he is miles away falters for a moment upon reading your letter, it is obvious you have exposed your heart to him and that is something his eyes lock on to admire in astonishment

Like a timeless verse, the letter is something he spends a long time contemplating, he knows you understand his position and what being close to him implies for your relationship, yet the heart does not show mercy when not in presence of a kindred partner

Your feelings drift from the letter to his heart and take place there until he comes to understand the full extent how deep your feelings run, doing nothing when alone is frustrating enough for you to want you to spill your every feeling and thought onto paper

Keegan

Received your letter and stuffed it into his pocket, waiting for an opportunity to read it alone, and with barely contained restraint from now having heard you for weeks he tears open the letter and devours your sentences with his eyes as they travel across the pages

It's as if needles were being pinned into the tips of his fingers with the way he so slightly shook, he's got such levelheadedness to be carried away by simple follies

But this is no absurdity of his, for as strong as a man can be, in the soft inside of raw flesh he is nothing more but a thought formed out of dust and longing for his partner at his side

In your letter he can tell you've experienced a range of emotions; plunging headfirst into a strong sentiment of yours for having left you alone for so long, then how much you miss him, and finishing off with a threat of him better coming back

A laugh escapes him, deep from within his chest he can feel that painful affection only you can bring out; even when you're miles away

König

Frightened by the break of dawn which is inevitably to come, he clings to that wish of his to see you and for that sky to break soon, allowing him escape into your embrace, for that lonely sky to wave its' goodbye

You know the duty he carries is heavy and he takes it on with no complaint, you are sometimes pierced by the overwhelmingly deep meaning of this task he has, the resolution you carve into your letter reaches him like a severe flame upon opening the envelope

His fingers tremble upon tracing your dried tears across the paper like fragile scars, so pure yet strong are your honest words to him that they go through every part of his body and settle deep into his bones

He knows that if possible you'd want to share your fate with him if it comes to worst, you can't handle being without him and neither can he, wanting to trace your soft cheek with his rough fingers he attempts to wipe the dried tears on the paper

Horangi

The shrike flies east while the the swallow flies west; what a cruel, tragic separation of lovers that ripples across cultures no matter the era humanity is in, forever a pain that will be felt

Through many bitter days he remembers you, despite his letters to you convey none of that sadness it is still very much a present ache every day is further away from you, missing you in heartache

On one of your many lonely nights you write a letter to him, as your pen makes lines of ink across a page, two lines of tears also fall upon the paper; staining and engraving a feeling more powerful than any words you could've written

When your letter arrives safely in his hands, he internally wishes you would forgive his ignorance for he was not aware until now how much despair your heart was experiencing

You've given your love to him without regret, but while he had a fraction of a chance at controlling his fate, you could do nothing but spiral alone at home, and it's hard for a lonely shadow to form a pair

Nikto

Wishing you could whisper your feelings to the wind and have it carry them to him, you try your best to convey them as raw as possible in your letter to him, hoping this feeling reaches him you relay your desire to the moon

The night your letter finally is in his hands, a full moon is high in the sky and lets a sliver of her light through a window, it is that moonlight he uses to read your letter, it is as if the moon uses her magic and suddenly he has a clear vision of your facial expressions as you write the letter

Time is fleeting for Nikto but your resolution to show him the place you've reserved for him in your heart is strong, it has not yet been a lifetime for Nikto to understand the meaning of being loved but he feels the warmth of your words spreading across his chest

𓏲 Price, Ghost, Soap, Gaz, Roach, Alejandro, Rudy, Phillip Graves, Makarov, Keegan, König, Horangi, Nikto

Price

If his sanity was barely hanging on by a thread when he used the period simulator for a mere 10 minutes he cannot bear to imagine the intolerable amount of pain that must be coursing through your body right this instant and is very surprised at how well you're holding up (holy run-on sentence)

Won't ever comment or even lightly joke about your snappy attitude, his mere presence perhaps is too annoying right?

He knew women had it hard, but he wasn't aware to the full extent of all the miniscule things that made the week of your cycle feel like a battlefield, or even worse he'd argue

Has much more than just sympathy for you, his understanding of your pain goes deeper and that blooms into empathy and that goes even further and turns into compassion; he shows this by bringing you snacks on his way home, even flowers seem like a nice gesture as they decorate your dim vision with colors

He knows this is not enough, during this time you tend to seek comfort in simple but thoughtful gestures, knowing he is the man filled to the brim with warmth just for you, he decides to also take a break with you and tend to you but most importantly; remain by your side

Ghost

Doesn't want to admit it out loud but he was greatly humbled by the period simulator, remembering how much the pain resembled that of hell he is more than ready to gentle when you tell him you're on your period

Before he wouldn't really do anything extra for you, perhaps you would ask for him to pick something up from the store and he'd go only for him to get the wrong thing or forget something from your list, he'd never understand why you would be upset at him over it, now he knows just how much something that 'small' can mean to someone who is experiencing the most uncomfortable yet slowest and agonizing pain

He thinks a lot more on how you feel; ruminating over every habit of his that could potentially inconvenience you, he washes the dishes he just used, picks up the laundry and without a second thought changes the bedsheets if you stain them

And perhaps the most important to you; he listens to you, nodding along as you rant to him and even offering you to rub your back if that helps alleviate some pain, you gladly accept his offer

Soap

I wanna be funny and say he turns into one of those guys who starts crying and gets super sad if they find out someone is on their period, "nooo periods MUST end" "eat this knuckle sandwich period cramps!"

"..." as you roll your eyes and are so ready to take a painkiller and put some white noise to doze off to

Albeit annoying as he constantly ask what you need, what he can do, and leaving food/snacks on your nightstand constantly he does get all the household chores done when you told him to (you figured he would be busy with what for some time and would leave you alone)

He tried cooking you something only for it turn out inedible, but the thought of him slaving over a stove stressing out makes you see it as a cute gesture, he stuck with making simple teas so at least he didn't mess that up lol

Turned the tv on for you, you were halfway through a cheesy romcom movie you were watching for the shiggles when you turned only to find him standing in the doorway completely absorbed in the plot, actually cried a lot at the "sad" breakup scene considering he wasn't the one with messy hormones

Gaz

Even before the whole period simulator thing he made sure you were stocked up on pads, tampons or whatever else you used for when that time of the month came, he thought you had it pretty good, a bit of mild uncomfortableness for a week of rest, right?

Well that period simulator sure enlightened him, he found out that it wasn't just blood dripping down there, it was a plethora of symptoms and feelings that came with it, he knew cramps were bad but not THAT bad, somehow feels guilty as if he were the cause of your pain

Like promised he does buy extra of your fav foods that can be easily made if he's not around, and when he is home he makes a bigger effort to ensure that the meals he makes for you are to your liking and won't disturb your stomach

Will immediately drop anything he's doing if he so much feels you tug at his shirt to cuddle, now he is a lot more sensitive to what you're feeling and understands that sometimes the best comfort he can provide is his warmth embrace

Roach

From last time he learned that sometimes eating can be a real chore when you're experiencing horrible cramps or headaches because of your period, sometimes the only thing you want to do is lie down, so he decides to invest in getting you comfortable and soft blankets, pajamas or any loungewear

He'll surrender his clothes a lot more often now if you really want, even buys those plushies that you can put in a microwave and they'll be super soft and cuddly and warm that you just melt into them, comes home with at least five of those btw

He canNOT cook an elaborate meal that you're craving, and he gets nervous when you were desperately wanting a snack only for the store to have it out of stock and he comes home with an alternative instead not knowing if you'll just ignore him or decide to bury him six feet under

Alejandro

He was very bad with the period simulator, to the point it's embarrassing for him to talk about it, but he is a lot more alert to whenever you're irritated or get in a bad mood because of the strong cramps and heavy blood flow for the first couple of days of your period

Any minor show of discomfort and he's more than willing to drive you home if you're out, even if he's not there beside you, you might just be texting him to complain about how bad your period cramps are and how you can't wait to get home and just crash into bed

Don't be surprised if you check his location to find out he's 10 minutes away already with a bouquet of flowers + your fav takeout place ready to come rescue you, and don't even try to make excuses about how you need to stay at work or finish running errands, he WILL do anything he can to ensure you don't worry about anything other than taking care of yourself right now

Rudy

You casually mention you just got your period as you leave the bathroom and enter the living room to sit next to Rudy again, you feel him tense from his spot on the couch and you look up from your phone to see him already hurrying to get up

"Where are you going?" and he explains how he's going to make sure you're stocked up on pads/tampons, make sure the laundry is done and your blankets are clean so he can start setting up your resting area

You're confused until guilt floods you as you remember how a week ago you had made him do the period simulator and he barely was able to handle it, you had done it for fun but looks like he was still recovering from that

Still, you let him pamper you extra this time and assure him he's doing great when he awkwardly stands not knowing whether he's doing things right or not, but every time he remembers how he failed the period simulator he knows it's 10x worse for you because you can't just turn the pain off, this is the real thing not a simulator and he feels as if he can't do much to make up for that :(

Phillip Graves

No longer laughs when an acquaintance complains about their wives' period pain but instead just hardens his jaw as he thinks what a bastard they are for not understanding how difficult of a time this can be for those with periods

Thinks about what gift to get you when your next period comes along, since he knows how your mood can be really down in the dumps, all those headaches, bloating, aches, and low energy you display are no joke and he only got to experience the cramps now imagine all that combined...

Doesn't complain about how tired he is or brush you off if you're having trouble sleeping and want to stay up watching or reading something, will try to stay up with you before eventually nodding off as you try waking him up because you want him to be present until you fall asleep

Barely raises a brow if you curse every five minutes because you stained your fave pair of shorts or get cramps, Lord knows how much he was cursing when he used the period simulator..

Makarov

May not express any words of comfort but man knows not to ask stupid questions and get you everything without you needing to ask him, decides to add a reminder to his phone whenever your cycle is about to start so he can have everything prepared

Whatever you want he will try to get you, if you want to go out and eat out he won't hesitate to take you but if you don't feel like eating out he'll order you food and will hire someone to take over the kitchen for you if you don't have the energy to cook due to fatigue

Doesn't tease or make remarks as before and decides to keep quiet whenever he notices you haven't been resting well due to body aches or constantly getting up to change your pad, he may not be good at verbally expressing these things but has the resources to make this time of the month a little easier for you

Keegan

Is a lot more patient but doesn't want you to remind him how snappy he got when he used the period simulator, you've never been so cranky considering you're dealing with the real thing but he doesn't like that you're laughing about it now

Now he makes sure to make it is priority to get anything you ask him to buy at the store, he used to be pretty forgetful but damn if that simulator taught him anything is that cramps are nothing to be joking about, he'll even order light meals to make it easier on your upset stomach

You've used up all your stretchy and comfortable pajamas but he stays on top of washing them to make sure you can wear fresh ones each time you step out of the bath, stocks up the pantry so you can freely raid it every night if you feel like it, he only makes sure to pick up the empty containers of cookies or half-eaten bags of chips the next morning

König

If you're raving about something he's learned to shut up and not open his mouth to offer any input unless he wants to be scrubbing floors for a week straight, does it either way because you can barely bend or move as your body aches, but at least he's gotten a laugh out of you when you walk by and see his big frame on his knees desperately trying but failing to get a stain off of the floor

If you mention in passing how you're bleeding more than usual or feel dizzy he won't hesitate to immediately ask if you need to go to the doctor, or wait maybe even to the ER?!

He's certain that if it were men who experienced period pain there would have been a permanent cure or a lot more support provided by now, tbh you think he's more dramatic than you've ever been because of the period simulator

Horangi

He used to drag you to the gym even when you were on your period just for you to accompany him, but after trying the period simulator he doesn't force you anymore, matter of fact you can stay home as much as you want and he won't bother you about it, you feel icky and just super low on energy to the point you can't get things done

He's learned to be more communicative and learn what you need help with so he can at least try and be supportive, he's surprisingly efficient and it takes a huge load off your shoulders

Remembers the pain he felt when using the period simulator and learns to help with mood changes if you're having severe cramps, doesn't force anything and holds back on his impulsiveness for your sake

Will never underestimate how much pain you can take to the point he's lowkey a little scared of your strength when he was falling apart whenever he remembers the stomach cramps..

Nikto

Did not easily forget the terrible experience of going through the dreaded period simulator, he remembers how helpless he felt even as he was twisting in pain as you made him experience level 10 of cramps, and he only shudders thinking how your body handles that on a monthly basis

Watches and observes you whenever you mention you're on your period, a few times now you've noticed him looking over at you every time you walk out of the bathroom after changing your pad/tampon, is he looking for signs of distress?... either way he's not risking asking you to do stuff for him

Gives you lotssss of space since you honestly don't feel like cuddling and especially not when you've already take painkillers and don't feel them helping at all