Chef Steve

For many Filipinos, losing a job—whether through layoff, termination, or choosing to leave—can feel like a personal setback. But the truth is, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with it. Job loss is not a failure; it's simply part of the career journey, and it happens to people all over the world.

The Filipino culture, with its history of colonization and societal expectations, often pressures us to view our jobs as defining achievements. After centuries under Spanish rule, there's a tendency in our society to view “success” as something that sets one above others. This can lead to a culture of comparison, where those who seek opportunities abroad are sometimes seen as more successful than those who remain. However, job loss is a universal experience, not a mark of one's worth.

As Frank Sinatra famously sang, “That’s life. You're riding high in April, shot down in May, but you’ll be back on top in June.” These words remind us that setbacks are temporary. Rather than letting job loss bring us down, let’s focus on getting back up with our heads held high.

Moving Forward with Resilience

If you’re facing job loss, remember: this moment doesn’t define you. It’s just a temporary chapter. Shake it off, pick yourself up, and move forward. You’re not a failure; you’re just waiting for the next deal in the game of life.

With a heavy heart, I have to start looking for prospects again. I would have loved to finish my projects much like I did with Lone Wolf Tech but sometimes things don't turn out the way you planned.

That's Life!

I know this will be a difficult journey, just like raising a flashlight in a stark and bleak forest. But I'm always thankful from the bottom of my heart that the client was a part of our journey.

By Christmas, I would have wanted the client to be my daughter's godfather.

#ThatsLife

A father should be the one to teach the children. Not a QA. He should have been impartial that he has 4 kids. Not just two. A father should love all kids, not just the money that they can provide. But then again that is a father I look for. And that is what I will strive to be.

I’m honestly doing everything in my power not to react, not to have an outburst, not to talk back. I’m holding it together for the sake of my daughter and wife. But my father—he thinks that restraint is weakness. He makes every encounter an opportunity to test me. Insinuations when I walk by, banging doors, coughing loudly. It’s toxic.

Today, my father returned after being away for two days. And just like I knew it would happen, the moment he came back, the noises started. Not the kind of noises that come from being busy, but the intentional ones—the kind meant to make a point without saying anything.

Coughing. Slamming doors. Banging plates. You name it.

I was working, and it wasn’t until I heard his footsteps heading toward the library upstairs—where he thought I was—that it hit me. He was checking. And when he saw I wasn’t there, the noise stopped. Just like that.

Here’s the context: he’s 70 years old now, but he used to be one of the highest-ranking managers in a Japanese chemical company, overseeing an entire plant. Me? I’m 40 years old, working my first good-paying job—not high-paying, but enough to support my family. So imagine that dynamic—him with all that authority and power in his past, and now me, trying to carve out my own path.

It’s not the first time. It’s a routine by now. A quiet way of reminding me he’s back, taking over the space I try to find some peace in.

"And no God or man can control where you roam As current serves my motor I'm pushin' Now awake! like the oceans feel your waves Tentacles to crash rocks on shores Tides devoid of emotions All your wonderful dreams washed away"

Today, or rather tonight—at 12:30 AM on October 13, 2024—I find myself typing this at my desk, finally having fixed my computer after what has felt like an incredibly long month. It's been a rollercoaster of emotions and stress, with most of my time spent confined to my workspace and bedroom. The only breaks in the routine were weekend supply runs, which used to be monthly but recently became weekly. As I teeter on the edge of frustration, once again on the verge of breaking down, I look at my newborn baby girl.

Her smile—always there to greet me, always full of laughter when she wakes up—keeps me grounded. And then there’s my wife, peacefully sleeping next to her. My wife, who has been my rock. While society expects me, the man, to keep it all together, it's her who has truly held me down. She listens to my rants, supports me without hesitation, and provides the foundation that I’ve needed in these turbulent times.

The struggles I’m facing now feel far more significant than anything I’ve dealt with before. Silent treatments from family, unexpected expenses, and overblown budgets have taken a toll. My problems from before seem trivial now, and though I’m rattled, I refuse to be fazed. My wife has been the pillar of strength I needed, even when I felt it was supposed to be my responsibility as the breadwinner.

Lately, I’ve distanced myself from my extended family, not my wife and daughter but everyone else. I’m tired of my father’s relentless attempts to manipulate me—whether it’s lies about car expenses or duping me into paying bills, leaving me and my wife with barely enough for ourselves. The straw that broke the camel’s back was when he gave away the family car I wanted to buy to an indirect relative, despite knowing I was saving up for it. His constant jabs, comparing my salary to my sister’s—who’s a doctor abroad—infuriate me. Here I am, paying for food and bills when no one else was around. I never expected a thank you, but some acknowledgment would have been nice.

Instead, I’m left fending off his criticisms about my car, which I bought secondhand. He says it’s stolen, junk, leaking—anything to bring me down. But I refuse to cave in. I know I’ve earned every cent of what I have, and I’m proud of the fact that I can provide for my family. It's a humble life, but it’s mine. I know things may get harder from here. Life has a way of piling on, but I also know I need to stay strong—for my wife, for my daughter, and for my own peace of mind.

I’m lucky to have a good employer, but the weight of family stress constantly tugs at my professional mindset. Every day feels like a battle between personal chaos and work responsibilities. But I am a father now, and that reality reshapes everything. I have to do better. I have to last longer in my job. And I have to carve out a better environment for the people who matter the most: my small but beautiful family.

Last Thursday was one for the books. I found myself completely offline, right after noon at 12:00 PM Manila time, all thanks to the much-anticipated Windows 24H2 build. Unfortunately, instead of offering an enhanced experience, the update left me in a spiral of frustration—facing persistent network connectivity issues that left me scrambling for a solution.

The Nightmare Begins

After installing the Windows 24H2 update, I noticed my internet connection had vanished. My device simply couldn't acquire an IP address, and I was stuck with the infamous 169.x.x.x IP, signaling that my computer was unable to connect to the network’s DHCP server. I tried everything I could think of, starting with some basic troubleshooting:

Uninstalling Antivirus Software: Initially, I thought the issue might stem from a conflict with my antivirus software. I uninstalled it, hoping for a quick fix, but that didn’t do the trick.

Updating Network Drivers: Next, I tried updating my network drivers. Maybe the update had made my old drivers incompatible? Again, this led to a dead end. No matter what I did, my network adapter couldn’t connect.

The Endless Cycle of Failed Workarounds

After numerous workarounds and hours of frustration, I stumbled upon a potential solution that seemed promising: reverting to a previous build. So, I took the plunge. I went to Settings > Windows Update > Advanced Options, and there I found the "Go Back" option, allowing me to revert to an earlier, more stable build.

For a while, it worked! My network connection was restored, and I could finally get back online.

But Then… Automatic Updates Struck

Unfortunately, my relief was short-lived. Since automatic updates were enabled by default, my system restarted later that day, reinstalling the very update that had caused the network issues in the first place. I was back to square one—offline again and left with no choice but to block future updates temporarily. I couldn’t risk another day of downtime.

What I Learned

This experience left me with a few takeaways:

The "Go Back" Feature: It was my lifeline, allowing me to temporarily restore network functionality, but automatic updates can undo your progress quickly. If you're going this route, make sure you block updates until Microsoft releases a fix.

Persistent Bugs: Network issues with the Windows 24H2 build seem widespread, and no universal fix has been found yet. Uninstalling software, updating drivers, and even adjusting network settings might not be enough.

Microsoft’s Ongoing Work: From what I've read, Microsoft is aware of these network problems, but there isn’t an official patch available as of now​Windows Forum ​AskVG. Until then, users experiencing these issues should consider staying on an older version of Windows or trying some advanced network tweaks like static IP configurations, though results have varied widely.

For Now… No Updates

As of now, I’ve blocked updates to avoid another frustrating day. I’ll be keeping an eye on official channels for any updates or fixes and will revisit the update process once a proper solution is rolled out.

If you’re dealing with the same issues, my advice is to be patient and cautious—there’s no one-size-fits-all fix yet, and sometimes rolling back is the safest option, at least until Microsoft releases a stable patch. Keep your system in check, and don’t let automatic updates catch you off guard!

Birthdays are supposed to be a time of joy, a day to reflect on another year lived, and ideally, feel celebrated by the people around you. But this year, my birthday was anything but joyful. It was bland, uneventful, and—if I’m being honest—disappointing. I spent half the day working remotely, and after lunch, I made the decision to go offline to spend time with my wife and daughter. Despite this, the weight of the day hung heavily over me.

In an age where we’ve become conditioned to social media validation, I couldn’t help but notice the silence. I received fewer than 50 greetings on Facebook, most of them from acquaintances or distant relatives. Two were from coworkers, and two others from my siblings. A couple of phone calls came in, but they were from distant family members. The absence that hit hardest, though, was the lack of any acknowledgment from my parents or my sister who works abroad. Not a single message or call from them on my birthday.

It stung, but not in the way it used to. It was more a dull ache than a sharp pain, and that’s what concerned me the most. The truth is, I’ve been distant from my family for years, starting around 2015 when I began being left out of family gatherings. Each time I expressed hurt or tried to distance myself, I was branded as uncaring. The irony was that during times of financial crisis in the household—when my parents struggled to pay for electricity, food, or other basic needs—I stepped in to take care of it, no questions asked. I didn’t do it for recognition, but deep down, I wanted to be acknowledged for helping out. Unfortunately, my efforts were never seen or appreciated.

My father, in particular, has become a sore point in my life. He often compares me to my sister, who sends a significant amount of money every month to support their lifestyle. "Kulang kulang hapmilyun," he says, referring to the half a million she sends regularly. Meanwhile, I am constantly reminded of how little I contribute in comparison. It's hard not to internalize that, no matter how much I’ve done or continue to do.

The lies and broken promises only add to the strain. Earlier this year, he told me he couldn't send the house budget, so I covered it for the time being. He promised to repay me, but the money never came. I even bought a second-hand car, under the impression that repairs and a repaint would be covered by a mechanic he recommended. Turns out, there was no such agreement. To top it all off, the car I actually wanted—an old white Honda Civic that I’d driven for years—wasn't even an option. He refused to sell it to me, preferring to give it to a relative or scrap it entirely rather than let me buy it. Why? I still don’t know.

In just a few short months, my relationship with my parents has deteriorated. I’ve stopped pretending, stopped forcing smiles or pleasantries for the sake of peace. It’s a strange dynamic—being financially supportive of people who refuse to acknowledge your efforts or even treat you with basic respect. I’m still living at the family home, mainly because I haven’t finalized paperwork to get my own place. But I worry about what this environment will teach my daughter. Will she grow up thinking that this animosity is normal? Will she believe that this strained relationship with her grandparents is just the way things are?

This birthday wasn’t just a reminder of getting older; it was a stark reflection of how much has changed. A year that should have been filled with celebration felt hollow, not because of the lack of a party or grand gestures, but because the relationships I once relied on have frayed beyond recognition.

With my birthday right around the corner, I find myself reflecting on what I really want this year—a positive, happy environment. It feels especially important now because I have a wife and daughter, and for the first time in a long time, I want to celebrate my birthday surrounded by love and joy. But this reflection has also made me realise how deeply passive-aggressive behaviour has affected my life, and how much I want to break the cycle. This year, I want to create a better environment not just for myself, but for my family. I don’t want my wife and daughter to be touched by the negativity I’ve lived with for so long.

"I am only negative because this was the only thing I saw when I grew up - slamming doors, locking someone out or invalidating them"

Passive-aggressive behaviour is something I’ve known for as long as I can remember. Growing up, I was often on the receiving end of actions that seemed small but left a lasting impact—slamming doors, silence when there should have been words, and moods that shifted without explanation. For a long time, I didn’t realise how deeply these moments affected me, but over time, I began to notice something unsettling: I was doing the same thing. And now, as a parent, I’m determined to break the cycle—for my daughter’s sake and my own peace of mind.

Understanding Passive-Aggressive Behavior

Passive-aggressive behavior is more than just an offhand comment or a door slammed a little too hard—it’s an indirect way of expressing frustration, anger, or resentment. When you slam a door behind someone or give them the silent treatment, you're avoiding direct confrontation but still communicating your displeasure. It can feel like an easy way to release frustration, but the long-term effects can be damaging, especially when it becomes a pattern in close relationships.

The Impact of Long-Term Exposure

Looking back, it’s clear that being exposed to this kind of behaviour as a child shaped how I dealt with conflict.

When you’re around it enough, it becomes second nature.

Without realizing it, I began to mirror those actions. If I felt upset or triggered, I’d shut down, sometimes slamming doors or avoiding people rather than talking through the issue. I didn’t know any better at the time, but now I see how those responses were learned behaviours that I need to unlearn.

It’s not just the passive-aggressive actions I’ve had to deal with. Whenever I’ve tried to share positive moments—whether it was getting a promotion or landing a well-paying job—I was met with invalidation. I’ve heard things like, "Your salary is nothing compared to your sibling's," or "That’s nowhere near as respectable as being a doctor." These comments have stung me deeply and made it hard to fully appreciate my own success. Over time, this constant comparison chipped away at my confidence, and I found myself retreating from conversations to avoid being hurt.

Why It’s Important to Break the Cycle (But Where to Begin?)

I know I need to avoid this negativity to ensure my daughter doesn’t grow up learning the same harmful patterns. She watches how I handle my emotions and will carry that into her own life. However, even though I know I need to break the cycle, I don’t know how to start. Right now, I deal with it by ignoring the person, avoiding conversations, and distancing myself from their presence. It feels like a temporary fix rather than a solution, but it’s the only way I can protect myself and my peace for now. But I know, deep down, that it’s not enough.

Strategies for Changing My Behavior

Changing long-standing habits is never easy, but it’s possible. One thing that has helped me is mindfulness. Now, when I feel that familiar surge of irritation, I try to pause before reacting. This gives me time to think about whether my response will help or hurt the situation. I’ve also started journaling my emotions. Instead of acting out in the moment, I write down what I’m feeling and why. This helps me release the frustration in a healthier way and often gives me clarity on how to move forward.

Ignoring the person or avoiding the situation might seem like the easy way out, but it doesn’t resolve the tension. Eventually, the emotions build up and come out in unhealthy ways. By addressing my feelings head-on—either through journaling, talking them out, or simply pausing to breathe—I’m learning to manage them more effectively.

Building Healthier Responses

The most significant change I’ve made is learning to communicate openly. Instead of letting my frustration simmer beneath the surface, I’m working on expressing it in a calm and constructive way. If I’m upset, I let the person know, but in a way that invites a conversation rather than conflict. It’s not always easy, and I don’t get it right every time, but I’m trying. I want to show my daughter that there are healthier ways to deal with emotions than shutting down or lashing out.

Boundaries are also a big part of this process. When I feel that someone’s behavior is affecting me negatively, I’ve learned to set boundaries in a respectful but firm way. This has helped reduce the passive-aggressive exchanges and foster more open communication in my relationships.

Conclusion: Changing for the Next Generation

Stepping into the role of Training Consultant/Manager for the "Soul 'Seoul' Team" was more than just a new beginning; it was a redemption story after months of enduring neglect of health, abuse of power, isolation and toxic gossips from a failed team and unqualified leadership in from my previous company. As I embarked on this fresh journey with a foreign company and industry, I carried with me the scars of past challenges, transforming them into lessons that fueled my commitment to foster a healthy, thriving team environment FREE from abuse of power, micro managing, improper escalation process and toxic gossips.

Our initial encounters in the virtual realm were colored by the shadows of past experiences. The "Soul 'Seoul' Team" and I faced time zone differences, language barriers, and technical glitches, yet the determination to forge a team culture rooted in respect and unity was our guiding light.

Entering the virtual classrooms, we collectively explored the intricate nuances of the BPO landscape. The team's vibrant perspectives and enthusiasm breathed new life into discussions, setting the stage for mutual growth and collaboration.

However, the echoes of past mistreatment lingered in my mind as we encountered challenges in embracing client-centric approaches. Bridging cultural divides and aligning diverse work methodologies often brought back haunting memories. Yet, within these moments of unease, the seeds of resilience and determination were sown.

The turning point arrived during an immersive simulation exercise. Challenged with a complex scenario, the "Soul 'Seoul' Team" and I were tested on collaboration and problem-solving. Despite the pressure, the shadows of past adversities dissolved, revealing a united front. Ideas flowed seamlessly, showcasing our collective strength and unwavering dedication.

Through perseverance and mutual support, we conquered the adversities that once haunted my previous experiences. Our bond strengthened, nurtured by shared victories and a resilient spirit that had risen above the ghosts of the past.

Today, after 30 days of trials and triumphs, our virtual landscape is adorned with hues of unity and redemption. Team-building virtual activities and shared experiences have woven a tapestry of trust and camaraderie. Laughter echoes through virtual corridors, cultural exchanges occur effortlessly, and a sense of belonging pervades every interaction.

In the fast-paced realm of call centers, where connections are made and shattered in an instant, I, as a Call Center Supervisor, found myself on an unexpected path. It was a journey that tested my faith in others and ultimately led me to a profound realization. Through the painful experience of betrayal by my agents, I discovered the profound truth that sometimes, walking alone is necessary to recognize those who walk alone with you.

Building a United Front:

As a supervisor, I believed in fostering a team united in purpose. We tackled irate customers and complex inquiries together, supporting one another through the ups and downs. Countless hours were spent mentoring and empowering my agents, forging a bond I thought was unbreakable. I trusted them with my vision, assuming we were on the same path, working towards a common goal.

The Sting of Deception

Little did I know that beneath the camaraderie, a web of deception was quietly spinning. The moment of truth arrived when I stumbled upon a series of conversations and actions that revealed a betrayal by some of my trusted agents. The shock struck me like a thunderbolt, leaving me wounded and questioning everything I thought I knew. How could those I had supported and championed turn against me?

Embracing Solitude

In the aftermath of the betrayal, I found solace in solitude. Walking alone, I allowed myself to process the whirlwind of emotions, reflecting on the events that unfolded. It was during these moments of introspection that I began to recognize my own vulnerabilities and the signs I had overlooked. I realized that I needed to take ownership of my role as a leader and acknowledge the importance of discernment in building trust.

Unveiling True Allies:

As the wounds slowly healed, I began to see the silver lining amidst the darkness. Walking alone had sifted out the disloyal and revealed the steadfast individuals who stood by my side, unwavering in their support. Their actions and words spoke volumes, demonstrating true loyalty and genuine connection. Through this painful experience, I gained clarity about the authentic allies who shared my journey.

Conclusion

As human beings, we naturally crave fun and enjoyment in everything we do. However, when it comes to the workplace, we need to understand that we are here primarily to work, not to play. While it's essential to have a positive and enjoyable work environment, we need to ensure that there are rules and guidelines in place to maintain a professional setting.

One of the main reasons we have rules and guidelines in the workplace is to ensure that everyone is on the same page and knows what is expected of them. This helps to avoid misunderstandings, conflicts, and mistakes that can impact productivity and teamwork. Rules also help to create a sense of order, respect, and professionalism in the workplace, which is crucial for the success of any business.

Additionally, having rules and guidelines in place can help to promote safety in the workplace. Whether it's wearing protective equipment or following safety procedures, rules help to minimize the risk of accidents and injuries. They also help to ensure that everyone is aware of potential hazards and how to avoid them, promoting a safe and secure work environment.

However, just because we are here to work doesn't mean that we can't have fun at the same time. Fun and enjoyment can help to boost morale, increase motivation, and improve overall job satisfaction. When employees are happy, they tend to be more productive, creative, and engaged, leading to a more successful and profitable business.

The key is finding a balance between work and play. While we need to adhere to rules and guidelines, we can also incorporate fun activities into the workplace. For example, holding a company-wide event, having a game or competition, or celebrating birthdays and milestones can help to create a positive and enjoyable work environment.

Caffeine eye serum is a topical skincare product that is designed to reduce puffiness, dark circles, and fine lines around the eye area. It contains caffeine, which is a natural stimulant that can help to increase blood flow and reduce inflammation. This serum is typically applied in the morning and at night, and can be used in conjunction with other skincare products.

Pictures of caffeine eye serum can be found online, typically on the websites of beauty retailers or skincare brands. These images will show the product packaging, which is often a small bottle or tube with a dropper or pump applicator. Some images may also show the serum being applied to the eye area, or before and after photos of the product's effects.

Here are the steps you can follow to use caffeine eye serum and avoid dark circles:

Cleanse your face: Before applying caffeine eye serum, make sure your face is clean and dry. Use a gentle facial cleanser to remove any dirt, oil, or makeup from your face.

Apply a small amount of caffeine eye serum: Dispense a small amount of caffeine eye serum onto your fingertip or a clean makeup brush. Gently pat the serum onto the skin around your eyes, including your eyelids and under-eye area. Avoid rubbing or pulling on the delicate skin around your eyes.

Allow the serum to absorb: Give the caffeine eye serum some time to fully absorb into your skin. This can take a few minutes, so be patient and avoid applying other skincare products or makeup until the serum is fully absorbed.

Apply morning and night: Caffeine eye serum is best used twice a day, in the morning and at night. Apply the serum after cleansing your face and before moisturizing or applying other skincare products.

Use consistently: To see the best results and avoid dark circles under your eyes, use caffeine eye serum consistently. Incorporate it into your daily skincare routine and use it regularly over time.

By following these steps and using caffeine eye serum consistently, you can reduce the appearance of dark circles and puffiness around your eyes. Plus, the lightweight formula of caffeine eye serum makes it easy to incorporate into your daily skincare routine.