Tear stained eyes

[9:39 PM] To “Best Friend”: Luffy. Your friend is a perv and sent me weird drunk texts

[9:48 PM] From “Best Friend”: HEY ZORO!!!! which one? 🫠

[9:49 PM] To “Best Friend”: I just know that he gets nosebleeds a lot or some shit

[9:49 PM] From “Best Friend”: HAHAHAHA

[9:51 PM] To “Best Friend”: I don’t see what’s funny 😕

[9:53 PM] From “Best Friend”: oh he just has a MASSIVE crush on you!!! that’s why I gave him ur number my bad haha

[9:54 PM] To “Best Friend”: wow fucking seriously

[9:54 PM] From “Best Friend”: sorryyyy 😵‍💫

[6:43 AM] From “Nosebleed”: Oh god what are these messages I sent last night. 🥲

[7:05 AM] From “Nosebleed”: Please just kill me.

[7:15 AM] To “Nosebleed”: I’m considering it. Head shot or carotid?

[7:21 AM] From “Nosebleed”: Nami’s never gonna let me live this down. 🫡

[12:16 PM] From “Baddest B On The Grand Line”: Did you ever talk to him?

[12:19 PM] To “Baddest B On The Grand Line”: no

[12:22 PM] From “Baddest B On The Grand Line”: 🙇‍♀️ But he was staring at you like all night. You referred to him as “that sex on legs twink blondie” and you didn’t hook up?

[12:25 PM] To “Baddest B On The Grand Line”: are you my matchmaker now?

[12:26 PM] From “Baddest B On The Grand Line”: You. Need. To. Get! Laid!

[12:30 PM] To “Baddest B On The Grand Line”: ok so you’re my pimp. maybe I’ll hit up Luffy’s horny friend who wants me to handcuff and beat the stuffing out of him 🤷‍♂️

[12:31 PM] From “Baddest B On The Grand Line”: I have A LOT of questions!

[12:35 PM] From “Baddest B On The Grand Line”: Tell me more pleaseee 👀🙏

[12:40 PM] To “Baddest B On The Grand Line”: don’t you need to get to work or something instead of worrying about my goddamn sex life

[12:40 PM] From “Baddest B On The Grand Line”: Noooo I have time

[12:41 PM] To “Baddest B On The Grand Line”: Fine. he texted me on accident, then drunkenly flirted like shit 🤦‍♂️

[12:42 PM] To “Baddest B On The Grand Line”: then I found out from Luffy he’s some guy whose like in love w me

[12:42 PM] From “Baddest B On The Grand Line”: This is gold 📸

[12:43 PM] To “Baddest B On The Grand Line”: he saw me at the bar while texting me and said he got a fuckin nosebleed 🥵 like an anime ass horndog

[12:45 PM] From “Baddest B On The Grand Line”: Wait. Holy shit. ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT SANJI LMFAOOO

[12:48 PM] To “Baddest B On The Grand Line”: So the twink bastard who works at the beauty salon and calls me Mosshead… is also nosebleed pervert. ok

[12:49 PM] From “Baddest B On The Grand Line”: 🤣🤣🤣🤣 I’m DYING that’s how you know him??

[12:59 PM] From “Baddest B On The Grand Line”: Dude what were you doing at the salon?

[1:00 PM] To “Baddest B On The Grand Line”: Covert investigation involving hair care products. long story. that shit stylist was a pain in my ass.

[1:03 PM] From “Baddest B On The Grand Line”: Youuuu want to bang him. You want to marryyyyy him. 😏😏😏

[7:12 PM] To “Best Friend”: The freak with a crush on me, is his name Sanji?

[7:30 PM] From “Best Friend”: HIIIII ZOROOOOO ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️ yeah 😄! Sanji is great I love him u 2 should rly hang!!!!!

[7:45 PM] To “Best Friend”: you don’t have to say hi every time you know

[7:50 PM] To “Best Friend”: how do I ask him out 😐

[7:51 PM] From “Best Friend”: He LOVES to cook ask him to cook for you! He’ll die!!!

[7:52 PM] From “Best Friend”: in a good way 😅

[7:56 PM] To “Best Friend”: ok thanks 🫡

[7:57 PM] From “Best Friend”: YAYYYY

Confirmed: The name of contact “Nosebleed” changed to “Shitty Stylist”.

[9:54 AM] To “Shitty Stylist”: Hello. Sanji

[11:48 AM] From “Shitty Stylist”: Oh no. I’ve been found out. 😰😰

[11:50 AM] From “Shitty Stylist”: Excuse me, I have to change my name and leave the country.

[11:55 PM] To “Shitty Stylist”: 🤨 Dont be dramatic you idiot

[12:01 PM] To “Shitty Stylist”: I wanted to know if you’d like to have a meal with me… you can cook it if you’d prefer… restaurants waste shit anyway

[12:19 PM] To “Shitty Stylist”: Never fucking mind.

[12:21 PM] From “Shitty Stylist”: Wait wait wait I think I lost consciousness for a moment! The answer is yes a thousand times yes. As a date RIGHT?

[12:22 PM] To “Shitty Stylist”: of course it’s a date or I’d rather seppuku

[5:29 PM] To “Fave Goober”: Luffy, I don’t know how to be normal about having a date with Zoro. Help me!

[5:30 PM] From “Fave Goober”: I don’t think ur asking the right guy 😂😂😂

[5:34 PM] To “Fave Goober”: I mean what should I cook for him, Luffy. I can’t blow this, Luffy. He wanted me to cook instead of going to a restaurant bc he said they waste food, Luffy. Do you understand me. LUFFY!

[5:35 PM] From “Fave Goober”: wow you two are PERFECT for each other!!!! 🥰

[5:36 PM] From “Fave Goober”: Zoro LOVES white rice and sushi!!! and BEER

[5:40 PM] To “Fave Goober”: thx, you’re a lifesaver 🤝 my kitchen is a mess… I gotta put all this shit back now ong

[5:42 PM] From “Fave Goober”: Just be yourself!!! yknow I saw him checking u out at the Merry but Nami told me to leave you be 😓 he called you a TWINK and he likes ur legs

[5:46 PM] To “Fave Goober”: I might choke on my own blood before I even get to first base…

[6:39 PM]

Press and hold to expand.

[6:39 PM] To “Lady Nami”: My dear platonic apple of my eye! How does my fit look?

[6:40 PM] From “Lady Nami”: Oh my god. 😬 You look like a lovesick fool.

[6:42 PM] To “Lady Nami”: Not what I asked 🙄

[6:45 PM] From “Lady Nami”: Oh, Zoro is going to think you look scrumptious even if you wear a clown costume. Trust me 😌

[8:51 AM] From “Shitty Stylist”: I want to see you again very soon, Mossy 😘

[9:00 AM] From “Shitty Stylist”: Best date of my life. Reality was so much better than fantasy. 🤭🤭 btw I watched when you ate, I know you loved it. You can’t fool me 😏

[9:01 AM] To “Shitty Stylist”: Shut up.

[9:02 AM] To “Shitty Stylist”: why are you so fucking cute there should be a law against it

[9:02 AM] From “Shitty Stylist”: Juuuust cute? 🥺

[9:03 AM] To “Shitty Stylist”: And sexy. Skilled. Smart. Caring. I really like being with you… ♥️

[9:04 AM] From “Shitty Stylist”: eeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!111 🫣

[9:05 AM] To “Shitty Stylist”: don’t pass out again seriously you’re embarrassing.

Read 9:13 AM

[10:30 AM] From “TTC”: Umm I heard you have a boyfriend, congrats! Zoro is really cool.

[10:32 AM] From “TTC”: Are you using protection?

[11:01 AM] To “TTC”: CHOPPER

[11:04 AM] From “TTC”: It’s not the 1980s anymore and HIV is a preventable illness 🥺

[11:59 AM] To “TTC”: CHOPPER! 😨 I appreciate your concern, but I had a checkup since my last partner. Please never bring it up again.

[12:01 PM] From “TTC”: Theoretically speaking, how upset would you be if I already sent Zoro a care package of condoms, lubrications, and informational booklets?

[12:05 PM] To “TTC”: That’s it I’m ending it all. 😭😭😭

[12:06 PM] From “TTC”: NOOOO YOU HAVE SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR SANJI!!!

[12:06 PM] From “TTC”: We’re here for you!

[12:07 PM] From “TTC”: Do you have someone to talk to? 😥😥

[12:09 PM] From “TTC”: I’m gonna call Luffy!!!!

[12:15 PM]

[12:15 PM] To “TTC”: Relax.

[12:29 PM] To “Fave Goober”: Whatever Chopper told you, I’m not suicidal.

[12:30 PM] To “Fave Goober”: Just mortified.

[12:31 PM] From “Fave Goober”: oh ok I kinda figured 🤣

[12:35 PM] From “Fave Goober”: give him a break btw

[12:37 PM] From “Fave Goober”: when Zoro and I decided to come out as gay and aro/ace respectively to our friends and family Chopper hosted an whole seminar 😪😪

[12:39 PM] To “Fave Goober”: I love him and all but jfc

[12:40 PM] From “Fave Goober”: just remember that it could be worse!!

[12:41 PM] To “Fave Goober”: I think I might need to delete my search history on BDSM as a precaution.

[10:00 PM] From “Captain U.”: when is the wedding 😉

[7:09 AM] From “Captain U.”: can I be ur best man Sanj I give amazing speeches

[7:18 AM] From “Captain U.”: who tops???

[7:24 AM] From “Captain U.”: Plz Viv and I joined a betting pool at the Merry

[7:30 AM] To “Captain U.”: This is Zoro. Sanji can’t come to the phone right now

[7:31 AM] From “Captain U.”: what did you DO to him

[7:35 AM] To “Captain U.”: wtf nothing he’s making breakfest

[7:36 AM] From “Captain U.”: breakfast huh 😏😏😏

[7:37 AM] To “Captain U.”: I’ve been dating him for months why are you being weird

[7:39 AM] To “Captain U.”: and the cook tops from the bottom

[7:42 AM] From “Captain U.”: I KNEW it

[8:05 AM] To “Captain U.”: I’m gonna kill you both. —Sanji

[4:05 PM] From “Princess”: Can you come over to Sanji’s and help me sweetie, our lovable idiot is having a crisis 😘

[4:06 PM] To “Princess”: lol Sure, what is it this time?

[4:06 PM] From “Princess”: He’s gonna P-R-O-P-O-S-E 🤩

[4:07 PM] To “Princess”: Oh SHIT about time!

[4:10 PM] To “Princess”: Luffy read that over my shoulder, and now I’m deaf.

[4:11 PM] From “Princess”: Oh no 😂

[4:15 PM] To “Princess”: Uhhh, Zoro is trying to call me. This can’t be good.

[4:16 PM] From “Princess”: Team Vivi and Nami assemble to handle our disaster gay man friends on two fronts!!! 🏳️‍🌈🤝

[4:27 PM] To “Princess”: Baroque Works Aquarium later? Heard they have a new exhibit they’re calling Lord of the Sea.

[4:32 PM] From “Princess”: Are you hatching a scheme?? 🤔

[4:34 PM] To “Princess”: Of course not! 🤫

[4:36 PM] From “Princess”: Well, let me know if you need the Assistant Manager to arrange anything special, she owes me a favor. ttyl

[2:53 PM] To “Best Friend”: I can’t do this 😐

[2:53 PM] From “Best Friend”: wdym!!! 🤯 YES YOU CAN

[2:54 PM] To “Best Friend”: no it’s runaway groom time 😶‍🌫️

[2:55 PM] From “Best Friend”: BUT YOU LOVE EACH OTHER!!!!! 😫😫😫😫

[2:57 PM] From “Baddest B On The Grand Line”: Where tf are you. 😡 Get your dumbass back here right now.

[2:58 PM] To “Baddest B On The Grand Line”: I was just taking a short walk

[2:59 PM] To “Baddest B On The Grand Line”: I think im lost mb 🙌

[3:00 PM] From “Baddest B On The Grand Line”: Are you fucking kidding me? Only YOU would be late to your own wedding. I should get paid for this shit.

[5:34 PM] To “Shitty Husband”: I thought I told you to release that fish back it’s too big

[5:35 PM] From “Shitty Husband”: I thought I told you not to worry about me and size, my lovely 😏

[5:37 PM] From “Shitty Husband”: Why are we texting on our anniversary trip, I’m in the next room!

[5:39 PM] To “Shitty Husband”: saving my voice shithead you promised to make me scream tonite remember 😤

[5:40 PM] From “Shitty Husband”: Yeah, I’ll show you I don’t need big guns to prove I’m a man. 😉

[5:41 PM] To “Shitty Husband”: Babe. the ring is already on my finger

[5:41 PM] From “Shitty Husband”: And