Chbrk🦴

Life is hard because how the hell my psychology teacher wants me to write about my gender autobiography and gender socialisation, when I feel like no one, didn't have any story with it, and didn't even have a simple socialisation, not even talking about the gender one😔😔😔 I mean, bitch, I have nothing to tell you about, what do you want

I'm feeling extra anxious already for two days and I don't even know why😭😭😭 I always was really anxious and that's already basically a normal state for me, but for the last two days it was really just too much, and there visibly are no reasons really. Like, I'm shaking brutally, I feel nauseous, I can't eat AND feel even worse because I'm hungry and can't eat. And I still don't even know the reason dammit. Either the world is going to end today, or this is some kind of test of my mental strength, because if I don't walk out of a window today it will be a miracle. And I don't really like either option tbh

It's so genuinely hard to be a friend to someone who likes men, like, every time I'm listening about how their boyfriends don't even do the most basic stuff that I'm, being just a friend, doing all the time??? And, like, stuff that I consider normal and basic and necessary even in just close friendship??? Like, bitch, what do you mean you didn't thought about gifting them some flowers even tho they always told you they love flowers and you have lots of money and definitely can buy it???? I'm a poor student and I rarely have money for normal food, and still I'm planning months before their birthday how and where I will buy flowers for them to make that a surprise, I make whole research on what flowers they love the most, and I literally start saving my money to get them a decent bouquet, and we're just friends, not even dating, that's literally a basic thing, why the fuck can't men do that shit in literal relationship😭

I'm rlly pissed rn because my only friend in this godforsaken town decided to go drink with her retarded classmates instead of coming to visit me in the hospital😔😔 Damn alcoholics I hope they all die from overdosing on this shit today😔

God I just now found out that it's aromantic awareness week and it ends in a few days😭😭😭 I almost skipped my week nooo