Courtney

Originally, he had placed his “room surveillance camera” facing the window (aka: my “door”), inside of this weird tall vase that had a square-ish hole on one side. When he first set up the camera I was NOT comfortable with it and pushed against it immediately. Because I complained so much, he agreed to have it pointing towards the window... so he could only see if anyone is “coming in or going out”. This didn’t capture a lot of abuse because abuse was usually done on the bed, where I had to be the majority of the time because it was not in view for anyone in the hallway if his door happened to be open. The cameras only started recording when movement occurred on screen; sound alone that was off screen did not activate it. If he didn’t move the placement of the camera I might not be alive today. #scarytruths This is me helping him clean his room. An occurrence that rarely happened... (the cleaning his room, not me helping him) 😒 #lifewithanabuser #lifewithasociopath #abusiverelationship #controllingrelationship #narcissist #narcissisticabuse #sociopath #domesticviolence #domesticviolenceawareness #control #victimtosurvivor (at Temecula, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/CJ7s_hBlEJz/?igshid=1oaqw89fwyhh5

Around 3 A.M. on December 27th, 2018, I found myself (once again) forced to endure another terrifying evening; full of violent #domesticabuse - fearfully wondering (ONE AGAIN) if it would be my last night on earth. Well, at some point during his punches to my head, he suddenly stops, looks at me in horror, & says “Okay... babs... don’t freak out... okay... but you’re kinda bleeding a little bit...”. I look down —> blood. I tap the top of my head & look at my hand —> BLOOD. Everywhere was BLOOD. His thick ring had sliced my scalp. I start freaking out. Panicking. I couldn’t SEE what was causing all this blood to now spew from atop my head. The fear was insurmountable. Kyle transitioned into “rescuer mode”, as he was known to do once HE FELT he maybe went “too far”. Anyways, so he makes me take my clothes off and then advises me to get into my robe (because of all the blood, of course 🤷🏻‍♀️). He takes a couple globs of Vaseline & puts it on my head where he thinks the wound might be (we didn’t really know at first because my hair was all bloody and sticking together, making it hard to see any of my scalp). He eventually runs out the room for something, at which time I quickly grabbed my phone to snap a quick picture of my head (still not aware of where or how big the cut was). Then, once again, during my next moment of privacy, I took a few more. It hurt A LOT. By the time the blood dried up on my head I was in absolute agony. I couldn’t move my hair. Not one bit. Any little movement caused excruciating pain to spread all throughout my scalp. Like a domino effect. I needed to go to the hospital. Kyle said no. I realized I also had a concussion (nothing new to me at that time). I wasn’t able to get to a hospital until 6pm the following day. He made me ride my bike to the hospital - by myself. & I had to tell them I was riding my bike and fell into a bush. They believed me. I wish they hadn’t. #domesticabuseawareness #abuse #survivor #ipv #sociopath #sociopathawareness #freefromabuse #domesticabusesurvivor (at Temecula, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/CJdv6bpldr-/?igshid=1sl0xcv2x6aa

Something that, for the most part, remained constant throughout my former #abusiverelationship.... ....my #hands. 🖐🏻🤚🏻 My poor, poor fucking hands! They truly, truly “stuck it out”; (#literally #pun), for me when I needed some ‘protection’ (like a shield 🛡 ) Unfortunately for Kyle, I was very good with my ability to “block” punches coming my way. 🤜🏻💥💪🏻 I was like a ‘pro’ by the end of it. (Which meant my hands were the most bruised, red & swollen towards the end of the relationship 😒) But, anyways, my hand(s) LITERALLY “took” the beating(s) meant for my face. Just think about that for a sec.... It’s very unsettling when you ultimately realize that the damage done to my hands was actually meant for my FACE! 🤭😳 #fuckabusiverelationships #fuckabusivepeople #stophurtingothers #narcissisticabuse #sociopath #sociopathicnarcissist #abuser #victim #abuse #lifeafterabuse #victimtosurvivor #bruise #bruisedbutnotbroken #bruising #abusive #mystory #blockingpunches #protection #lifewithasociopath #injuries #alookback #tbt #throwbackthursday #myoldlife 🔙✊🏻 (at Temecula, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/CI634Bng5wS/?igshid=hl1snv49ogkb

[Viewer Discretion Advised] • [Trigger Warning] #hardtowatch #graphiccontent ⚠️ This is the reality of domestic violence. (Each video is 1 min) It’s unfortunately happening behind hundreds of thousands of turned backs & closed doors, yes - right now, as you read these very words. It could be your best friend; it could be your co-worker, your teacher, your student, your boss; it could be your neighbor next door, your old roommate you never really got to know that well, your old friend or acquaintance that seemed to just “disappear” from all her social media one day; it could be the woman in front of you in line at the grocery store, or the woman you saw crying at the side of the road — & if you don’t know what to look out for, It COULD be YOU..... & I KNOW this, because it WAS me. (Thankfully... “was” 🥲) #yourlifematters ❤️#refusetostaysilent 🗣💬👊🏻🙌🏻 #standupagainstdomesticviolence #neverletithappentoyou #domesticviolence #getoutnow #victimtosurvivor (& if you are wondering, yes - the man in these videos is currently in jail serving a 14 year prison sentence ✊🏻) 🏢🍾🥂 #cheers 🍸 #domesticviolenceadvocate #domesticabusesurvivor #lifeafterabuse #youcandothis #staystrong #abusesurvivor #graphic #behindcloseddoors #intimatepartnerviolence #domesticabuse #realmendonthitwomen #survivorspeakingout #loveshouldnothurt 🤍 (at Temecula, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/CI3h9hlgRMi/?igshid=1iv5sm1vudv0z

#blackcatproblems What black cat? - Exactly. 😐🐱⬛️ #nevergetsold 💁🏻 (it's #squeaker🐾, by the way) (at Lake Elsinore, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/Btl7dgdAbS6/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=uq0ugwe6exnf

😆 #storyofmylife https://www.instagram.com/p/Btb6zz6BIO9/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=p8yo4ilnndu3

Fu%#in' beautiful. #nowthatsasunrise 🌤❄️🌳 #temeculaskies #cloudporn #sunrise #californiawinter #colorful #orangesky #temecula #wintersunrise (at Temecula, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/BtXU6Ssh7cl/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=miz110h4u7jd

🎼So clossee yourr eyess, let the colourrs ffflyyyy -- & hide from the noise outside. We're colouurrrbliiinddd from the blackkk & whiiiite... but WE'VE NEVER BURNED. SO. BRIIYYYGHT!🎼🎼 #whatcomestomyheadwhenilookatthis 💭📻 #sunrise #timelapse #dawn #morning #wednesdaymorning #sunrisetimelapse #temecula #myvideo #temeculaskies #orangeclouds 📸#ipad4 #4thgenipad 🎧 #handslikehouses #hlhsong #colorblind #dissonants (at Ynez and Winchester) https://www.instagram.com/p/BtTy-nmBccv/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=12he16c8whlk8

Looking at the 3 images displayed above, what do you notice remaining consistent within the last 3 years? ... I'll give you a hint: it's a 3 word title, the first and last word begin with the 8th letter of the alphabet, they come from a "land down under", & you are probably so sick of hearing me talk about them! 😀😃😀 Yep 👍🏻 one more year with @handslikehouses at the top of the charts! #whowouldofthought 🤔 Anyways, a special thanks to them & all the many other AMAZING bands and artists that helped me through 2018 via @spotify 🙌🏻🎧 #anotheryeardown #musicislife #thankyou ❤️ #spotifywrapped2018 #spotifywrapped #handslikehouses #lookback https://www.instagram.com/p/BsB_JscB3ws/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1ohcevomxk949

THAT— FACE! #waitforit #youwillbegladyouwatchedthis 👆🏻2 years ago today 😆🙀#thiscatisridiculous #blacknwhite🐾 #ifyoudontfindthiscuteyouhavenosoul 🐈✨ (at Temecula, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/BrfEZGThJ8t/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=fuavmdxshyv2

#anotheryeardown 📆#anotheryearstronger 💪🏻🙌🏻 #dontforgetthat 💯📢 #keepgoing 👣👌🏻😏 #keepmovingforward 👉🏻 https://www.instagram.com/p/BrY9PaJhzbO/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=jxkdaedb3bco

That's my cat 🐱 #bejealous 😏 #throwback #caturday #mischeif🐾 #mischeif⚫️🐱 #mybaby #blackcatsofinstagram (at Temecula, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/BqSzxfoB9-Z/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1wp2lz54wcmk8