Chasen Betches Blog

The bullshit I now know for myself

You thought this would be motivational now, did you?

So, continuing onto the section, I know everyone wants me to enter. What is the Bullshit I have learned throughout my life?

Bullshit number 1

No matter what you do, someone will do it better before, after, or simultaneously as you. And all your ass can do is keep trying to do better. Maybe you'll be better than them for a second, but it's worth it, trust me. It’s bullshit because you're supposed to be like, “I am the best,” or “I will be the best,” and all that bullshit. Trust me, that’ll get you somewhere. I’m sure, but the best thing I would advise you to do is to look at the person who betters you and honestly see them as a reason to prove you better now that I know it will get you somewhere. Spite makes you become better lowkey a horrible way to motivate yourself but it works.

Bullshit number 2

If the guy doesn't like you, move the fuck on. I had to learn the hard way I would think a lot of people also had to learn the hard way aswell. I liked this guy so much I could have considered myself obsessed. Thank the heavens, I was good at hiding it. I wasn't. To prove it, I have jokes from my friends and the guy's parents throughout the regrettable experience of liking him. I was confused because he would send the weirdest signals that would make me hope. The dumb part about this is the number of posts on social media saying, “ If a guy likes you, you’ll know. If he doesn't, you'll be confused,” You know that bullshit. That actually isn't bullshit. I should have felt the signs, but the biggest slap in the face for me was when the dude got a girlfriend. While in the middle of sending me signals. Like, what the fuck? Thanks a lot, dickhead. That's how I learned if you're truly confused when you like a guy about if he likes you back, Babes, he probably doesn’t. Move the fuck on there's hotter men out. There with more enormous dicks you'll live.

Bullshit number 3

Girls are the most petty creatures out there, and they do petty so well. You will never meet a girl who ends up in a situation that makes her petty and not do petty good. Boys do petty bad, I'll say, but this is a personal opinion, so don't go getting offended, please. I learned this bullshit in the. The best way possible, girls don’t give a flying fuck who they're petty to. It's hilarious they don’t care if you're on your death bed you can bet someone's ass they're gonna be petty. I have too many girlfriends, and I guess I could call myself one of the lucky ones for not being at the end of a girl's pettiness, but I’ve been a spectator, and it's the best. I tell you, it is the best position to be in. It’s like watching Eminem go against any street rapper. It's like the girl on the other end knows she ain’t gonna win if a girl has her mind set on being petty at you. You can see utter defeat when someone knows they did something to make a girl go all petty on them. It’s even better when a girl Is being petty at her boyfriend. I have no words to explain how fun it is to watch a girl go all petty on her man. I hope everyone has a chance to watch a girl go all petty on her men. One of my favorite bullshits I have learned.

Bullshit number 4

You're a good person if you think you're not better than everyone else. I’m not saying being insecure and that you know within yourself that you are not better than everyone else. You are almost equal. I fuck with you if you are this type of person.

Bullshit number 5

Love and Live hard. Life is short. Love whoever you meet, even if it feels like shit after they leave. Live hard, live like you would die in a week, and you have a shit ton of things on that bucket list. It's the least you could do for yourself.

Am I desperate to be loved? No, I don't think so. Although the books I read tell a different story. I am, and I will never be desperate for love. That's so 2024 me. (I need a man)

having been a dear friend of the well-known Chronically Single Illness, I can tell you I have the best dating advice. For example, "LOVE HIM BITCH” and my favorite, "He looks like the blobfish, he won't do better than you, TRUST" I give the girlies the confidence you feel me. I give advice that even I myself don't fucking believe in. ITS STUPID. But I still do it cause, honestly, I don't know. Maybe I like being relied on. (Low-key think I have abandonment issues but I will never admit that)

But back to the part where I need a man. I want a man, not need one. I want to go on a date, but not just with anyone. I need my first everything to be memorable. I want to say when someone asks me how my first kiss was. It was amazing. I want it to be so memorable that I'm proud that this man, whoever will have the honor to be my first kiss, was my first kiss. Like I need to have a memorable first everything.

It's like how I feel about therapy. Like I need it, but I don't want it. Wait, that's the opposite; whatever's moving on. Men ain't shit, but gay men are. Like, I think it's just how they look. Like I like hands. I was talking about straight men, btw. I like men's hands. I don't know, I think they're hot. I want arms, too. the veins babygirl RAWRRRRR

Also, I need to experience holding hands because I have never, and I repeat, never held hands romantically. It’s insane to me. I need my hands to be grabbed, sweat be damned. I just need the guy to want to hold my hand in a romantic way. Also, longing for eye contact and looking at each other when the other isn't looking. where has she been all my life. Because ya girl has been waiting. She’s much more likely to run a marathon than experience that. And she can’t even run a kilometer without considering that jumping off a building than pushing through.

Lastly, the conclusion is I don’t think I need a man. I think I need a Boy best friend to complain this shit to because shoving the things I should be telling a psychologist on the internet is a very bad way of coping with my dire need of wanting to be wanted.

Desperate

Singles

Love

Help

I respect everyone I write about. But I find these people very, very hot.

Most of these will be animated characters, and I greatly respect them.

Ben Ten

I respect him, but I found him very hot when I was about 10. Hah, it wasn't that convenient. I liked Ben Ten when I was 10. You would think I would like Kevin, but nah. I usually like the side characters, but somehow, Ben Ten caught my eye. Young, sarcastic, even in alien form, sign me up. Okay, maybe I wouldn't have thought of sleeping with him when I was ten, but I wanted to go on a Date.

2. Spirit the horse

I don't need to write more about it, but I will. Gosh, have you all seen the movies when he's running in the wind, looking better than any supermodel I've seen? He low-key reminds me of the "said I loved you, but I lied guy." Just search it up. It's hilarious. Plus, his homeboy spirit treated his lady like a queen. I also have a strong feeling that he is possessive, and I like that. Very hot. 10/10 would recommend.

3. Eugene from "Yuyu Hakusho" ghost files in English.

Guys you have to watch Ghost fighters. all the characters are hot like rose is there he's so hot but like a little too girly for me but dosen't me I don't fuck with him. I'd go out to the town with him. get drunk and like pass out on someones couch. But EUGENE my man sarcastic a little rugged and damn does he look good in anything he wears. But let's be honest every single anime character looks good in what they wear. But I was like 13 and I didn't know how to whistle but if I did I would so instead I barked.

3. MILO from Atlantis

This man was my sexual awakening. That Dorito body put Chris Evans to shame. He was my sexual awakening, but he was so innocent that like even 17-year-old me with insanely definitely should not be thinking about thoughts. I would never do that to my boy Milo, but I still really think he is soooo HOT.

4. Sanji

He is and will always be the one man, no questions asked. That I will sleep with; he treats women right, knows his way around a kitchen, and makes good food. And he looks like he'd be good in bed. But if any of you have read, I ship Zoro and Sanji very strongly. One of my favorite ships, actually. I have read too many fanfiction and manga images that I do not want to go into detail about. I can probably recite a good amount of Zosan fan fiction. I think I am going insane.

Love ya'll

Btw you're reading a list of people I would sleep with, and I haven't even held hands romantically, so don't take what I write personally; as far as I know, Men ain't shit, but I'm trying to get into my lover girl era. Doubt it will happen tho, but if the grapes work, we will never know.

peace out love ya lots

how long would I survive a zombie apocalypse.

A week because I would be too focused on getting laid; if I'm getting bit on the neck, a man gonna be first, not a goddamn zombie.

2. Favorite smell?

Weirdly, the smell of gas.

3. what would your last words be?

Honestly, I don't know; I imagine myself screaming to death.

4. Do you like pineapple on your pizza?

No, that's a sin. That's my opinion, so don't come after me.

5. Do you sleep with the lights off or on?

I hate that this is even a question. off

6. Are you scared of Horror movies?

That's what the movies are designed to do. So yes I'm fucking scared.

7. Who was my first-ever crush.

kovu from the criminally underrated Lion using 2.

8. Hobbit or elf?

Elf, cause I wanna sleep with Legolas.

9. Only one food for the rest of your life?

Soup because you can fuck it up, and it'll still be edible, idk.

10. One thing I refuse to share?

My jewelry, I'm sorry, but it's mine.

Questions I have had, and answers I have come up with.

How do fish, mainly whales and sharks have sex.

I think the male shark flips upside down, and the female and male bellies align, rubbing it out. That's a very strong case—like they really go at it. Sea tornados, I believe, are made from whales and sharks making babies.

2. Wikihow is on to something.

I honestly believe that WikiHow was written by a 14-year-old, a very talented one at that time. I think they're using voodoo magic to get this information. But it must be good voodoo magic because it works for others, not me. I plan on going to the forest and singing every song from Princess and the Frog to get this whack voodoo magic off me.

3. Is fighting always the answer?

The answer is yes, always yes. If someone is annoying you, sock them. If you want someone or something, fight till you get it.

4. How did life first start?

I believe I was a very rich man in my past life, but now I am a broke young girl. I had a lot of good-looking people around me in my past life, but I can't get a man in this life. So, I am blaming all of my romantic failures on the rich man I was during my past life.

5. Can I really be perfect for someone?

Yes, I am perfect, but it doesn't mean I don't want a man. I just want to be held. I'm so lonely.

6. Do I want to be a failure for the rest of my life?

I think I already am, but at least I am hot. That's a lie, no tits, no ass. All I have is this dazzling personality, lemme tell you. But there is one thing I will not fail, and that will be every BuzzFeed test that tells you if you are an introvert. Because I am. No person from anywhere will say to me differently.

7. Why does Tarzan not have a beard?

Gorillas are good with their fingers, lemme tell ya. You see the videos with them getting the flees all off their babies' heads bet they did that shit with Tarzan. Plucked every single piece of that beard like they were born for it. Very gals, they knew not to touch the eyebrows. but they did clean up the unibrow if he had one.

8. Which came first, the sun or the earth?

I believe the sub did because how did the gods see shit with just the stars. Now I just sound like an idiot, but I am like, for sure, for sure, that the sun came fucking first?

9. Did humans invent math or discover it?

If someone discovered math, I now have a proper reason for murder. But if these fuckers discovered math and they didn't keep that shit buried, I don't hate a lot of people, but I think my hating on the people who found math is understandable. They should have kept that shit hidden for the light of day, and the sun should have never seen those fucking numbers. This hate stems from the fact that I can't do math.

10. Is it possible to know everything?

Yes, because I exist. I am knowledgeable. I could tell you anything you wanted to know, from why David Clooney is hot to why every man and woman would sleep with Henry Cavill. I can answer that for you now. One David clooney6 has definitely done some mother Gothel shit Sings to a flower while his wife stares at him and wonders why he doesn't share that goddamn flower. I'm telling you, he looks like Gollum in his bedroom, crouched over a yellow flower. Next up, Henry Cavill, Guys, just look at the man. Even a goddamn hippo would sleep with them, the hickeys that man would get. A goddamn Gorilla would go ooh ooh ahh if that man walked into the forest with his Superman suit on. I'm telling you, the lady from where Wonder Woman is from made Henry Cavill. The heavens loved this man, but I think he gets some of his juice from David Clooney. I told you I'm all knowledgeable.

Thank mwuah for reading today's Blog.

Love ya lots

Chasen

Happy New Year Betches.

Kissing once the clock strikes twelve is excellent, but have you tried squeezing yourself under a table, shoving twelve grapes down your esophagus, and almost choking while imagining a really hot guy.

Bet you have the things we do for hot men, right.

But I do have a lot of things to say. Both good and bad

The grapes really help you imagine how balls feel in your mouth, don't they? Right after the clock strikes 12, the first body part you use is your tongue. It's not what I imagined, but quite the experience. [ The choking I experienced just adds to that]

I wore multiple pairs of underwear and was on my knees, praying it worked. I first wore green underwear and then red. I have no idea if the underwear that touches your, you know, parts works more than the other, but I better be rich by the end of this year.

Okay, enough of the grapes.

Recap on last year's hot men. (and yes, male animals count as men)

Let's start out easy, Zoro. This has to be the easiest to understand. But I am all for anime, Zoro. No offense to Mackenyu, but I wouldn't be using my hips as much if it was Mackenyu. The Shakira in me would come out if anime Zoro was under me. ( Mackenyu is married, and I respect his wife a lot. I am also a very strong Sanji/Zoro shipper—a very, very strong shipper.)

Next, another easy one to understand, Jason, Freaking back from the dead, Todd. Every single Comic and animation he has been In. I barked literally woof woof. (But I read Jason Todd/Bizzaro fanfic, and it was really, really freaking good. Like squirming in my seat and wanting to jump out of it. And being able to make me do that is impressive.] Not really.

We're getting a juicer now with Balto. Yes, he's a dog, and I would get down and dirty, but that's for me to know and for you to forget about.

Now, I personally think this is everyone's crush, and they just don't want to admit it: Kovu from the criminally underrated Lion King 2. A man with a hot voice and banter with Kiara, my credit card limit would jump out the window if I could buy him. I will fight Kiara for her man and her dad, who's up next.

Simba, Hasenvenyaaaa, the circle of life can screw it cause I am gonna kiss this lion. That's all for Simba.

The man who made me question whether I had Daddy issues is next. Mufasa: "He's your son before sunrise." Ahhhhh, Sarabi, you don't know how jealous I was.

Honorable mention, Bambi's dad, I was in love. I'm not gonna elaborate because the movie was traumatizing.

Next best ships of this year

First place goes to Superbat. Because, yes, old man yaoi always wins.

Bakudeku, but they did piss me off this year, and I. now pretend that the latest chapters of My Hero Academia never existed, and I am thrilled that I read them off an illegal website because I would have burned that book in a heartbeat.

GhostSoap, I want my man to be like either of them, and I will not settle for less. They are so perfect for each other. I like and want what they have. Would you like me to say more?

Be ready for more because this blog is just getting freaking started.

Love you lots