These grapes better fucking work
Happy New Year Betches.
Kissing once the clock strikes twelve is excellent, but have you tried squeezing yourself under a table, shoving twelve grapes down your esophagus, and almost choking while imagining a really hot guy.
Bet you have the things we do for hot men, right.
But I do have a lot of things to say. Both good and bad
The grapes really help you imagine how balls feel in your mouth, don't they? Right after the clock strikes 12, the first body part you use is your tongue. It's not what I imagined, but quite the experience. [ The choking I experienced just adds to that]
I wore multiple pairs of underwear and was on my knees, praying it worked. I first wore green underwear and then red. I have no idea if the underwear that touches your, you know, parts works more than the other, but I better be rich by the end of this year.
Okay, enough of the grapes.
Recap on last year's hot men. (and yes, male animals count as men)
Let's start out easy, Zoro. This has to be the easiest to understand. But I am all for anime, Zoro. No offense to Mackenyu, but I wouldn't be using my hips as much if it was Mackenyu. The Shakira in me would come out if anime Zoro was under me. ( Mackenyu is married, and I respect his wife a lot. I am also a very strong Sanji/Zoro shipper—a very, very strong shipper.)
Next, another easy one to understand, Jason, Freaking back from the dead, Todd. Every single Comic and animation he has been In. I barked literally woof woof. (But I read Jason Todd/Bizzaro fanfic, and it was really, really freaking good. Like squirming in my seat and wanting to jump out of it. And being able to make me do that is impressive.] Not really.
We're getting a juicer now with Balto. Yes, he's a dog, and I would get down and dirty, but that's for me to know and for you to forget about.
Now, I personally think this is everyone's crush, and they just don't want to admit it: Kovu from the criminally underrated Lion King 2. A man with a hot voice and banter with Kiara, my credit card limit would jump out the window if I could buy him. I will fight Kiara for her man and her dad, who's up next.
Simba, Hasenvenyaaaa, the circle of life can screw it cause I am gonna kiss this lion. That's all for Simba.
The man who made me question whether I had Daddy issues is next. Mufasa: "He's your son before sunrise." Ahhhhh, Sarabi, you don't know how jealous I was.
Honorable mention, Bambi's dad, I was in love. I'm not gonna elaborate because the movie was traumatizing.
Next best ships of this year
First place goes to Superbat. Because, yes, old man yaoi always wins.
Bakudeku, but they did piss me off this year, and I. now pretend that the latest chapters of My Hero Academia never existed, and I am thrilled that I read them off an illegal website because I would have burned that book in a heartbeat.
GhostSoap, I want my man to be like either of them, and I will not settle for less. They are so perfect for each other. I like and want what they have. Would you like me to say more?
Be ready for more because this blog is just getting freaking started.
Love you lots
Chasen
