boy do i love making myself cry

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@charlielovesbuffy
boy do i love making myself cry

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i'm trying to organize my thoughts on this.
i struggle to have any sympathy for people who use ai for fanwork. i also think these witch hunts are giving people an “ethical” excuse to be mean. i think we’ve let consumerism and capitalism infect fandom, and this is the inevitable result. i think the erosion of fandom as a community opened the door for this, but these people made the deliberate choice to step through it. i think the why matters and should be the focus of the conversation, but i also think it's equally important that we don't let the reasons excuse or normalize the actions.
i think the relentless call outs and the immediate memeification of everything, the fics and authors who use ai becoming running mean girl jokes, is only furthering the degradation of fandom, and creates a space that feels unsafe for someone new to create without the crutch of ai. i can empathize with people not being sure how to form connections other than through producing content people will talk about. the root problem is that everyone is hungry for community, but we've lost sight of what that means and how to build it.
i don't think i can find any sympathy for the people who loudly professed to be against AI and used it anyway, or those who doubled down after being called out months ago and wrote treatises about being victimized. that's deliberate deception and manipulation and cannot be excused or enabled.
i'm conflicted, all of my thoughts are contradictory, but i guess that's human. and i guess if i have any clear stance it's that i think the only productive way to approach this issue is as humans capable of nuance and not moral litigators. our focus needs to be on working the problem, not meting out punishment.
Our Flag Means Death truly did feel like a miracle, like that really happened. when is the dvd set coming out.
I hate when this fandom treats Rose or Svetlana or any other female character like a human incubator. NO! They would not be hollanov’s surrogate. Stop being fucking weird!!
I could see Svetlana potentially being an egg donor. Maybe, as a huge favour to her bestie. Since there’s no way Ilya would want to pass on his genetic predispositions to depression, substance abuse and dementia. And if they were going to have a baby via surrogacy, he would want the bio father to be Shane.
But the only existing female character in HR I could see potentially volunteering as a surrogate would be Jackie Pike. And altruistic (I.e. unpaid) surrogacy is legal here in Canada. Svetlana would not fuck with nine months of pregnancy. Egg donation is a much smaller commitment.
As for Rose, she’s a fucking movie star. Moreover, she’s a movie star who gets paid a lot of money to be spray painted blue all over while wearing practically no clothes. There’s no way she’s going through nine months of pregnancy (during which she can’t work).
Followed by the hell of having to get her body back into pre-pregnancy shape so she can go back to making the Marvel movies she’s contracted for, and where every stretch mark would be noticeable in her spray-painted costume. All that wouldn’t be worth it to her unless she’s keeping the kid she’s squishing out. It just wouldn’t make economic sense for her to risk her livelihood, not even to make a close friend’s dream come true.
Besides, at least here in Canada, neither Svetlana nor Rose would even be a suitable candidate for altruistic surrogacy. Since you’re supposed to have a child of your own who lives with you. And a track record of at least one previous pregnancy with no major complications.
Jackie has four kids who live with her already, and she doesn’t have a job where her needing to take time off during and after pregnancy would risk her employment. Because in canon she’s a stay at home parent. She’s really the only candidate, if Shane and Ilya decide they want kids and want to go the surrogacy route. And because Shane and Ilya have babysat her kids many times, Jackie knows they’re good with kids. It’s not abstract for her.
And realistically, altruistic surrogacy might be their only option. With Ilya’s mental health issues and past as a child of an abusive home, it might be very tough for Hollanov to adopt. If a social worker has to choose between a potential adoptive family where one parent is on SSRIs, versus a potential adoptive family where neither parent has significant mental health challenges….
Well, you couldn’t really blame a social worker in that situation for choosing the less risky option. Especially if it’s an adoption from foster care and the child or children in question already have their own psychological baggage.
But anyway, there’s no way they could have kids until at least one of them has retired. During the season they’re both on the road half the time. You might be able to bring an infant on road trips (with a very well-paid nanny and an adjoining hotel room). But pretty soon that kid will be old enough that it needs structure and routine and preschool.
Honestly, it’s kind of iffy that they even have a dog, given Anya has to spend so much time at the dog hotel when they’re on the road. You can’t park a child at a dog hotel. Nor would there be much point.
Yeah, David and Yuna are young enough that they could help out. But if both parents are on the road half the time without the kid, they’ll spend very little time with their kid. What’s the point of having a kid prior to retirement if you hardly ever see the kid because you’re both jetting all over the country?
I have to say something because you missed so much of the point it’s like you didn’t even read my post. NO Svetlana would not be their egg donor, NO Jackie would not be their surrogate. And you know why? Not just because it makes no fucking sense to do that. But because women exist outside of what their bodies and what they can provide for men. These women are not human incubators. My post was literally about people like you who take female characters from the show and say let’s use them as props to give these men a family.
ALSO being on SSRIs does not disqualify you from adopting, fostering, or taking care of a child in anyway. Please do fucking research before spreading misinformation about that. Saying that a social worker would not have a hard choice or that you couldn’t blame them for choosing someone who’s not on SSRIs is gross and stigmatizes medication and mental health. Not to mention you bringing up Ilya’s abusive childhood to justify why they wouldn’t get picked as if someone with an abusive childhood automatically wouldn’t be a good candidate for parenthood. People with mental illnesses and other mental health conditions can be great parents.
Yes, HR is a TV show, but rhetoric like yours enforces the idea of people with mental health conditions as unfit parents. Self reflect please.
Bachelor’s of Social Work over here- a social worker absolutely would NOT discriminate based on mental health issues/being on SSRI’s. This isn’t the 80’s where you could lose your job if you went to therapy.
“You couldn’t blame a social worker for choosing the less risky option” uh YES you absolutely fucking could blame a social worker if they decided you couldn’t have a child because you’re on antidepressants to cope with a horrifically traumatic childhood. I’ve been on SSRI’s since I was 14, a large number of social workers are on antidepressants. Also, BOTH my parents have depression and they were, and continue to be, fantastic parents.
This person does not appear to understand the adoption process at all. A social worker does not choose which prospective family “gets” the child. That’s not remotely how it works. There are millions of kids in the foster system, a child isn’t a hot commodity that we give to the winning family. A social worker, after home visits and interviews with family, friends, and coworkers(which would involve anyone that’s ever seen Ilya interact with a kid saying he would be the best dad ever) decides if this would be a good environment for a child. Ilya and Shane’s constant travel and demanding schedule would raise an issue, but Ilya’s very manageable depression absolutely would not. Hell, it would probably be more of an issue if he WASN’T taking SSRIs for his depression- treatment is a sign that he takes mental health seriously and would thus be a very good parent to a child with mental health issues. Shane and Ilya are MORE equipped to parent a child that has depression or other mental health issues. They run a frickin mental health charity!
(apologies if I’m fixating on the wrong thing here, OP’s point about using women as human incubators and using female characters as a tool to give Shane and Ilya children is SO correct. I just also HATE misinformation, especially surrounding my own profession)
some thoughts were percolating

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I love you, Alex
ilya's bisexuality really is such a vital part of his character and his identity and i Do get a little bothered when people (usually normies/straight people) just refer to him as gay bc he's in love with a man....but that's just my personal feelings as a #bi person
ACTUALLY i'm adding onto this bc there's something i always notice in ep 6 that i wanna talk abt briefly, and that's yuna & david's faces when shane says "ilya likes both" - especially yuna
there's concern there. it's obvious. and it's SO common when it comes to bisexuality bc there's this huge and annoying misconception that bisexual people are unfaithful unloyal cheaters. and you can see it in her face as she processes the information that this is an immediate concern for her and for her son.
and now let's look at ilya's face
now he's concerned, because he knows he has to explain himself (which he does. he shouldn't have to but he does) and he's basically throwing out a hail mary to shane's parents that says hey, wait, no, i'm not gonna cheat on your son. i love your son. just because i'm bisexual doesn't mean i would hurt shane.
and this is something bisexual people deal with all the time btw. not just from straight people, not just from gen x & boomers, but from our own community too. it's incredibly exhausting. anyway i just notice this every time it makes my heart hurt a bit for ilya.
Shane Hollander, AKA
a Russian’s Gayest Love Machine
it is now 6 months since the last episode of heated rivalry came out. this is how long ilya ghosted shane after vegas.
Rest in peace to the incredible Anthony Stewart Head (20th February 1954 - 1st June 2026)
RUPERT GILES in BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER (1997-2003)

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Your affection for your charge has rendered you incapable of clear and impartial judgement. You have a father’s love for the child, and that is useless to the cause.
Rest easy, Giles. Your watch is over. We’ll take it from here.
Shout everyone else taking the vow of silence today
TADC had an incredible finale which was ruined for me by the- legit- six year old kids sitting next to me who wouldn’t shut up the entire time.
feeling like John Mulaney’s dad IYKYK
happy pride month 🌈
it’s so special to me that so much of fan culture is textual analysis for the love of the game. like thank god there are people in my phone who are also thinking about this thing i love so much that they are writing transformative fiction as character studies and setting clips of the show to music with theme-relevant lyrics and writing long text posts analyzing every line of dialogue like!! yay!!!

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Happy pride month! Every straight person in the world owes me $50. It’s the law and you’re homophobic if you challenge me on that. 🌈
#happypridemonth