i'm still waiting for better times to come

drunk girl in the bathroom hot

Kyo had always wanted someone to tell him those words. For the longest time he wanted to be enough for someone, for anyone. Even if he was a monster, even if–he had so many sins tallying down his back—goodness did he want to be freed of that guilt. Of that shame, of that sin that he carried. To be able to properly rest those dark and terrible thoughts. To be able to loose himself in another’s grasp. That’s all he wanted when he looked at Airi. That’s all he saw and he hated himself so much for hoping and wanting. Yet he did anyway and perhaps that alone was another sin of itself. The desire, the want, of something that was never met for him. As he once told Kagura, he wasn’t going to love anyone nor would anyone ever love him. 

Yet here he was defying those hypocritical words. Here he was and here he would be, until the end of his own days. Until the day perhaps she would be torn away from him. He can only offer a weak smile and then a soft sounding chuckle. He felt so worked up like this was all some kind of feverish dream. He would wake up from it, in a cold sweat, and beg that he could fall back asleep into this moment. Such a disaster the lonely cat was, really. 

“It’s alright.” Kyo manages to say. “I kinda don’t know what–what to say either. I–I didn’t know…..I thought—I’d flirt, maybe get a cute reaction and not–not push any further. But I don’t know I felt–I felt like I had to tell ya all of those things. And I’m glad…I’m glad ya shared with me, and I’m glad I had the guts to tell ya what I was feelin’.” He lowers his gaze for a moment and then looks up at her. “A date huh? Nah, that’s not—It’s not….a bad idea. We should–plan…one. I dunno what people do on those exactly—I mean…..Whatever ya would feel like doin’—I’d love to do.” 

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A cute reaction? Well, truthfully, Airi couldn’t say that Kyo wasn’t the playful or teasing type with her on occasion. It did make her wonder when exactly that shifted into the feelings he had now, though. When did the line of intention blur from being playful to wanting to get a reaction out of her? 

She already knew very well that her most obvious (and harder to hide) reactions were the occasional stammer, the way her eyes went wide at something that Kyo had done or said resonated with her, or the inevitable blush that arose from their emotional and phyiscal closeness. It was, of course, unnvering initially that he could beautifully disrupt her trained, poised exterior with ease. But that was what had landed her  head over heels like this in the first place. Kyo was different, and he made her feel different. 

Someone with a light…willing to help him? For the longest time, he had considered that maybe he would be the one left behind. Even Kyou seemed to get along with people better than he did in an open, honest way. People only cared about the superficial side of Yuki, and not who he actually was. He found himself often watching them all from afar, feeling so distant from all of them…

But then…she…Tohru…

A little smile crossed his lips. Ah. How did she always manage to save him even when she wasn’t there?

“I…suppose there’s someone like that…even for me.”

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❝That's good, I'm glad to hear that.❞ She couldn’t help but catch the "even for me" hanging off the end of Yuki's sentiment. The way it made her attempt at a reassuring smile falter for a moment, and morph into one more reminiscent of empathy. Painfully aware and understanding empathy.

CONVERSATIONAL  SENTENCE  STARTERS | accepting!

@haru-sohma​ said:  ❝   i’m not really the advice type,  but i am damn good at coming up with distractions to forget the bullshit for a while. ❞

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❝Oh. Well... ❞ Airi was not categorically known for breaking the mold, (at least in an everyday context) settling comfortably (and a little boredly) in a routine of school, work, family time; rinse and repeat. She hadn’t considered adding anyone or anything new to the mix to be a likely possibility despite her counsins’ urgings. And if either one of them were here, they’d probably tell her that she should see what Haru has in mind.

After a moment of contemplation, she crumples up the document from her probation officer and shoves it away into her bag. She needed to forget the bullshit for a while, so why not let someone help her do just that?

CONVERSATIONAL  SENTENCE  STARTERS | accepting!

@lachrymosestorm​ said:  ❝  don’t take this the wrong way,  but you don’t quite look well.  ❞

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❝Hm? Oh, I just didn’t get enough sleep last night. Exams and all that. ❞ It wasn’t entirely a lie. Yes, she didn’t sleep well, and she had studying to do, but they were mutually exclusive in this instance. Lighting the candle at both ends was common practice for Airi, and despite how many times she got burned out as a result, remedying the habit was easier said than done.