rewind

aesthetic + headcanon + playlist: made in excellence (2021)

Charlie’s first solo mini album is nothing sort of exciting when February 2nd rolls around and she sees all her hard work released to the world to listen and to see. She gets a short two week promotion for the album, and although she thinks it’s really too bad the promotion period is so short, she makes the most out of it. This promotion period also sees Charlie being more active on social media than usual aside from the standard fan meetings, hosting instagram lives and vlives just to talk to fans about the creation of the album and the songs. No Jam charted for a bit, and while it’s not the most tremendous feat, it’s still fun to see her solo stuff take off.

between takes was an andy that might have seemed to the average passerby, on pause. opposite to the truth, andy’s mind ran from the simplicity of wondering whether he left the dog food bag open before leaving the house, to momentary blips of the question of existence.

appearing on variety was one of the lesser god fucking awful parts of being an idol, but with each pause, andy found himself wishing the cameras were still rolling. if nothing else, his mind was a boring place to be. having caught his train of thought -on the cusp of getting a song he’d heard one of his members humming earlier stuck in his head- andy popped up out of his seat and decided to make nice.

“hey,” andy called a few feet away, smile plastered on and hands clenched in his pockets. tone light, elongated sounds and thought out sentence structure sounded what andy might call ‘polite casual’. “you planning on reacting to left & right’s video? heard that’s a trendy thing these days. you react to mine, we’ll react to yours, scratched backs, nine yards.” his head tilted, and smile followed suit, “or you more the rewards type? what’s the cool type of reward these days? i’ll have to draw the line at designer goods and aegyo, you understand.” barely there, a laugh punctuated his sentence.

Variety shows are a maze to be navigated — sometimes they lead you to your destination or you get lost on your way. There are several obstacles to overcome, and it’s not a journey meant for everyone. Experience grants her the permission to relax her shoulders somewhat (read: this being entirely depended on said variety show and cast members present) and while she could now consider herself somewhat of an expert in her own right at navigating these high seas, she would do herself a favor to keep herself on her toes.

aesthetic + headcanon + playlist: charlie’s love languages

As someone who often initiates the affection for other people, her love language is rather straightforward and clear — quite like the idol herself, and she’s not shy to initiate most of the affection for her people. It may come as a surprise to no one that most of her affection is shown through actions than words.

“beauty and brains, you really are the total package, how is that fair?” yena pouted, head tilted upwards to look at charlie from where she was leaning against her shoulder. sure, yena was playing up the dramatics a little bit for show but the sentiment rang true regardless, she appreciated charlie from both an esthetic and an intrinsic standpoint, for all that charlie was beautiful what truly mattered the most was that the two them shared the same mindset, making it easy to get along and understand each other. “for what it’s worth i’m always more than willing to listen to anything you have to say.”

this was nice, comfortable, she enjoyed basking in the gentle affection -both verbal and physical- her friend was willing to share with her. “what kind of friend would i be if i didn’t?” yena offered, a playful undertoning curling around the edges of her words. “they are stupid to underestimate me but i’m honestly not surprised, they are kind of stupid, god forbid their egos would have to accept the notion that we’re capable of things right?” yena scoffed, her hold on charlie tightening ever so slightly, signaling that letting go truly was’t on her priority list either. “if only more people treated me as well as you did huh unnie? god what a world that would be.” a kiss to charlie’s jaw as if to attest to her words. “filming has been fine. it’s a pretty generic web drama, nothing of great skill or writing but it’s fun, i like being back on set.” if she’d get to do it all again yena would probably have forgone becoming an idol and settled for acting straight away but sadly enough, there were no do-over. “what have you been up to hmh?" 

They say opposites attract but truly it is the similarities which binds people together. Their knack for the dramatics adds some flair in their interactions which only serves to make her chuckle at the silliness of it all. The afforded luxury of keeping company with another idol who has been a part of the industry for too long and seen too much of it — it’s the kind of freedom they have to joke around and let their guards down without the fear of repercussions, and it makes her appreciate Yena and the friendship she brings to the table. “I would tell you to be careful not to inflate my already big ego any further, but I do like it when you praise me so I wouldn’t dare stop you. I know, and that is why I love you! Also because I can always count on you to get down and dirty, but you know what I mean.”

CHARLIE THROUGH THE ERAS  ➜  BE MY BABY

location: hwandy’s apartment with: open

joohwan is having a bad day.

that’s neither surprising nor is it a novelty. hwan has those often, or at the very least several bad moments through the days – as most people are prone to, really. he crashes harder than most people, though, as it’s just part of being someone living with a level of addiction that’s only been treated for a short time. some days, joohwan can’t be left alone to his thoughts for too long, lest they carry him to the dangerous corners of his mind. he’s never at risk of doing something too harsh, but several times he had considered buying alcohol and indulging in it, trusting himself to stop even if he’s been sober for almost a year.

it’s one of the very few days he’s getting off for some months, what with the tour. he should be happy to be home but without andy around it doesn’t quite feel like home. the animals are a great company but they serve as limited distraction and nothing he attempts to engage with is capturing his attention for too long. so hwan had asked the person to come over. he’s just looking for a distraction – any type of it – to the point where he’s eager to open the door when the doorbell rings. “hi,” he greets them neutral faced. “thanks for coming.”

With a temperament so unpredictable it becomes nearly impossible (or just extremely difficult) for anyone — herself included — to trace the road yet untravelled when a certain mood kicked in. They stamp her as a runaway and she wears it like a badge of honor, and her habit of fleeing the scene of crime when things turn sour and gets difficult is the only predictability they can come to expect from her.

Problems are always easier to deal with when they are not your own, and she jumps at any and every chance to “help” (read: a term used loosely in this setting as it’s never quite clear if she’s helping said other person or herself) others with theirs. All this while simultaneously ignoring her own to gather dust, leaving it to pile up until it all becomes too much, and troubled with the heavy burdens of it all she ends up turning her back to it and run away again to be free somewhere else.

And the cycle repeats itself.

Comeback time is right around the corner again if the sudden business in schedules are anything to go by, and preparations for it this time around just happens to coincide with her solo debut which is also happening right about next month. This means that while she is set to promote her solo, she is also tasked to focus on recording and filming for their latest comeback, effectively making her twice as busy in the coming months (which is not a complaint, merely an observation of facts and this would not be her first rodeo.)

She can’t say that comeback times are her favorite — at this point they merely serve as BC’s way of ensuring more money to their already stocked cesspool of dirty money which they’ve extracted from their musical acts, but they are also definitely not the worst thing to happen either given the girls’ long history in the industry. BC giving them comebacks is another reminder to the girls that they still answer to a big corporation despite their standing as seniors amongst the newer group but without the added benefits of loyalty for ten years and counting.

The concept and tracklist are, as usual, already chosen with the girls assuming their place on the sidelines unable to give any input. Yet for once luck as bestowed upon her the opportunity to take part in co-writing some of the songs for the album. It’s more than what she can say for the past twelve bodies of work they have released (and yes, she does keep count.) With how much creative control she had gotten while working on her own album, she is evidently in better spirits these days than she had been just half a year ago, and this excitement bleeds onto her attitude when going in to record the new songs.

they’ve only ever been pegged as the re-runs of their hey day — bee and decipher, ten plus years of whatever it’s worth, and taejin comes out with nothing more than a friendship in hand.

friendship in charlie, and he’s forced to be lulled back into a period where wolf-cuts and printed shirts, neon hats were the primetime of grandeur. now, when he looks back — it’s his chin down, sheepish grin that he hides away. a heartless laugh, it’s sarcasm for a man rundown by too many years inside the same old pattern. "are they just now putting all of bee inside the basement?” taejin asks, but he doesn’t let it slip his head that bc’s ruthless yet meticulous in the way they harbor their stocks to sell on a mass platform. (in that case, decipher and bee still have long ways to go till freedom yanks the weight off their shoulders). “luckily, the coupons deliver straight to bc — so you’re free to use them anytime.” his fingers slide another coupon over, hip weighted against the counter. 

“a solo, i’ll look forward to that. hopefully you end up on my 2020 highlights, or else — i’ll just have to write a post in the amigo fan cafe to avoid it at all costs.” a bit snarky, yet his smile blends the words enough to package it as a joke — light humor, as he’s sure she’s accustomed to it by now.

taejin nearly chokes on his wine at the mention of his girlfriend, unexpected cues leaving him to wipe off the droplets hanging on the edge of his face. a few seconds to compose (he’s a natural by now), it’s the doozy grin that emerges. “things are going good — she’s busier than me, but i suppose that’s what you get when you’re the nation’s girl group and bc’s working you the most out of all their groups. no new people of interest in your life, eh?”

An understatement of the century would be to say she would one day find a friend in the older male (a somewhat loosely used term but still applicable nonetheless) as way back when they were nothing but divergent.

It would seem time and experience could work wonders at times.

“They better not,” she says as an act of defiance, voice dropping low in conspiratory, despite knowing it would amount into nothing, and her attempts at rebellion would be futile at best and ridiculous at worst (it’s the old tale of been there, done that.) Seniority within the company means next to nothing when capitalism runs rampant in the industry and they become nothing but another asset to a system much bigger than any of them would like to be a part of but are still trapped in. Trying to bite the hand that feeds you has more downsides, and she’s been a firsthand witness to many such downfalls. “How very nice of you.”

Sadly, she’s forced to swallow her words as he delivers a one two punch with his next line, and she genuinely gasps at his audacity. Narrowing her eyes at him, she can’t keep her serious demeanor at bay when she sees the smile on his face, appreciating this playful banter they get into at times.

They are teammates for almost eleven years at this point, and Jiah still has time to wonder how do they manage to be this excited. Needless to mention that Sungyeon was someone she trusted wholeheartedly, and Jiah didn’t expend this much time with anyone else besides her members, so it’s strangely how fitting this is to her. Wanting to share the good news with a long-time friend who has been part of her life for a very long time. “The outfits are all very nice, I have to admit, even if they aren’t my style for clothing,” she says with a little nod and a chuckle.

“Grinch is such a Christmas movie. I don’t know why I have the impression I’ve heard about it so many times this year, and it has been such a long time since the last time I stopped to watch it again. So, should we try that one this time around? I remember feeling scared because we were like what? Seven when it came out? Let’s see if my opinions stand or not,” she says good-humoredly as she raises both of her legs and crosses them over the couch. She takes the TV controller and searches for their pick for the night, and Jiah reaches out to nudge Sungyeon’s leg with her other hand, “I didn’t even ask you how you’re doing. I’ve heard you have a song in the works to be released, no? How are you feeling about it?”

“It’s all so exciting though. The world of acting, I mean, and the fact you’re getting more opportunities in that field. I don’t think I would do very well at it, you know how much I hate being told what to do.” Her trail of thoughts are cut off by stifled laughter as memories of yesteryear makes itself present in her mind, thoughts of how wild and reckless she had been back then (as if the industry had been able to tame the fire within — she’s just better at hiding it now), and how little she cared for following instructions. She always did get in so much trouble as a result of that. “Anyways, I still kinda wanna try it out though, at least once, just to see how it feels. Maybe if BC got me a gig for a web drama instead, it would be better. They often aren’t all that popular, low stake for casting me but I still get the experience of acting! A win-win situation if you ask me.”

early december, weekend getaway / @charliefmd

she remembers their childhood in rose-glossed shades of nostalgia and golden youth. they’d been the dream team - locked & loaded, ready to paint the town red at a time when being young, wild, and free was a concept straight out of teen movies. life in australia had been encased in untouchable warmth, full of picturesque sunsets and moonlit nights, cherry popsicles, and a whole lot of laughter. time has not painted these memories over with the dull grey of growing distant and growing up too fast. instead, jiae remembers them as if it were yesterday, within reach - warmth cupped in her hands.

it’s people like sungyeon who make jiae want to try harder - to want to stay, to be there. so full of life she can’t help but want to stay close by, like a moth to a flame. every time they find a chance to meet amidst crisscrossing schedules and not enough time, she soaks her in - peace, warmth, a slice of home. so when an opportunity arises, the first thing jiae does is book the flight and make arrangements at lightning speed. 

she misses home. misses sungyeon. just misses.

jeju is quiet. sleep comes uninterrupted. from a distance, she can hear the sound of waves crashing on shore, swears she can see the teal of saltwater spray and taste the ocean on her tongue. thinks that for the first time in a long time, she doesn’t want to leave. 

with a cat-like stretch, she yawns into the back of her hand and turns over onto her side to look at her cousin. smiles like she did when she was six years old and meeting her for the first time, toothy and full-brimmed with happiness. her voice is soft, barely a whisper. as if any louder and she’d shattered the peace. “good morning.”

Loneliness was never an option when company came in the form of a young girl, not unlike herself yet so intriguing all the same. Alone they could already be a handful to begin with but together they became a force to be reckoned with, and no one would know how to handle them in all their chaotic glory. She finds her partner in crime amongst her kin (“Sungyeon-ah, come meet Jiae, she’s your cousin.”) and she could not have asked for a better person to share her childhood with: it’s painted in the thrills of sneaking out in the dead of the night, the laughter of excitement in exploring prohibited spaces, sneaking past barriers meant to keep kids like them out.

But they were Sungyeon and Jiae — girls with fire pulsing through their veins with a penchant for trouble, always ready with a scheme on hand, and they always did find a way to get what they wanted regardless of the approach they took.

The emphasis on age and seniority she had been brought up to live by never expanded beyond the household, and the reality of the three years which separated the girls from each other never discouraged her from looking up to the younger with wide-eyed wonder and admiration as they grew up alongside one another.

Their idea of escapism aligns, and so does their schedules for once, and not a moment later have they landed someplace else where they could truly try and get a break without fearing the inquisitive side effects of their chosen careers. Here, they could leave Charlie and Jade at the door and welcome Sungyeon and Jiae back home with open arms.

he was moving around the kitchen in his certain way. it was much like watching him move around his station on masterchef korea celebrity. however, he wasn’t moving as quick, it was more laidback, as he was just cooking at home. but, he was making sure to get this task done, just so they’ve be able to eat sooner, rather than later. but, he was sure to make a warm meal, one that may remind you of childhood; but, he was probably being seen as more of a professional home cook, in a way. 

he moves to the cabinets next to the stove, leaning up against them. he did this just so he’d be able to look upon the other, and the food that was cooking upon one of the burners. rules, they were a funny thing, weren’t they? but, somehow, someway, duri had followed them; just so he wouldn’t find himself getting into trouble. though, he didn’t much follow the dietary rules, as he would sneak the sweets every now and then. so, maybe he wasn’t actually the best at following them, especially since he was going to show some work currently. 

there’s a giggle that moves past his lips at her reaction. he nodded his head, “we decided to try something different for this release! so, we went for a few different sounds, just to see,” he said, giggling softly. “ah, they sleep really well! i’m surprised they aren’t around here playing,” he said, before another giggle left his lips. “well then, make sure to eat well and rest well!” he responded, before going back to tend to the meal. 

Having been awoken by the surprise of a new concept for this male whom she had come to known as not only an incredible chef but also an incredible singer with a voice suited as a balladeer — sleep becomes a thing of the past and her mind is clear to take in the atmosphere of their meeting. The drawback which presents itself of having been drawn from her sleepy stupor is the sound of her stomach rumbling — and had been for a while now — a sure sign of her body telling her to start adding some nourishment for it before it collapses on her. If there’s one thing she’s learned to be good at, it is listening to her body and giving it what it wants and needs to continue carrying her on in life.

Straightening her spine, her eyes zone in on the concoction brewing on the stove, the delicious smell already wafting through the apartment. “So… is the dish ready yet? I’m getting hungry. You know, scratch that, I’m super hungry right now and could probably eat the whole thing if you allowed me.” A tongue dashes out to lick her lips, mind dreaming of munching on delicious food. With or without his permission she could very well just consume everything presented to her.