Lesbian Benoit Blanc

😈 You are allowed to have evil characters who are not punished by the narrative by the end of the story.

😈 You are allowed to have evil characters who win.

😈 You are allowed to have evil characters who make evil look fun and cool.

😈 You are allowed to make your fun, cool evil character the protagonist.

😈 You are allowed to glorify, romanticize and eroticize evil characters and villainous acts.

And even though money is pretty tight for her, she told me I could name my price if I would help her, because it was so far away.

I told her she was a dummy for thinking i would take her money but that i would accept the traditional helping-a-friend-move price: a meal (i know she would feel wrong about herself if she didn’t do something for me in return, that’s just how she is) Tradition suggests pizza and beer, we opted for enchiladas and a margarita.

we crashed on the floor of the empty place and left back north in the morning - when we got back to the city three more friends met us at her storage place (the place she was moving into wouldn’t be vacant for a couple months) and we started to move all her stuff up to a storage room on the THIRD FLOOR (because large city storage places be like that)

we had just taken the first box out of the truck when the (only) lady working there walked by and told us they closed in an hour and twenty minutes, and she couldn’t stay even a little late because she had to get to her other job.

One hour twenty minutes. To completely un-jenga a large uhaul and re-tetris it back into a similar sized room on the third floor.

We all just, shared a look, took off hoodies, and got the fuck down to business. 

It was actually.. I still cherish look we passed around. The tiny eyebrow quirks and chin nods. The eye glints. The bigger breath we each took as we prepared to kick it up several gears. That moment of wordless connection, when we all just silently agreed that we were damn well going to do the impossible and didn’t even waste the time it would take to say anything, just got to it.

And we did it too. Finished with exactly two full minutes to spare. And then we all went for dinner and drinks to celebrate. And my friend’s friends that came to help? Two of them were acquaintances/friends of mine already. Like I lived with one for a year a decade ago sort of thing. But this experience? Brought us all closer. Made myself a new friend too.

And the friend i helped move? She and I are closer than ever because of it.

When i left our storage success diner to go home, she asked me again if I was sure i wouldn’t take any money.

I said “I ever tell you when I was 22 I went down to Hollywood to try that scene out? Anyway ten months later, when I just couldn’t do it anymore, and needed to come back, I called one of my best friends and said i can’t do this anymore i need to come back. You know what he said? He said: I’ll be there tomorrow. Not how much will you pay me, not what do i get out of it, not will you be able to cover my gas, just: I’ll be there tomorrow. Okay? You’re my friend. If you need help, I’m going to be there”

This is, at least, based more on an educated expert's guesstimates of something going on after a while of actually knowing you and hearing you contextualise your issues.

When I had to re-do the autism diagnostic process as an adult because I needed paperwork for Big Government to give me The NDIS, it ran me $1, 500 and was done under such laughably bad conditions by some dickhead I'd never met before over the course of exactly four conversations. We had to do this shit over Zoom while this apparent expert on the human mind failed to understand the echo in the call was because he was not using headphones (instead he blamed me for it?)

Half-way through the diagnostic process someone just started vacuuming his lounge and I was like, "uh should we reschedule," and he said "nooo I want to finish this and get out of here haha my vacation starts this week I'm going to Riooo babyyyy" in the middle of COVID, so we screamed questions and answers back and forth for 30 minutes while this dickhead kept vacuuming.

"Do you have friends?"

>"No." [+1 AUTISM] "Yes." [-1 AUTISM]

And if you've just spend $1,000+ monies because you wanna know what the fuck is wrong with you so you can perhaps start feeling some relief, have some explanation for why everything is so fucking difficult or why high school was Like That or whatever, so you can maybe work a little less by applying for welfare or at least have accommodations at work --

If you already think it might be autism because you've been seeing posts and discussions and so on by other "autistic" people, and you relate to them strongly enough that you asked and paid for an autism diagnosis specifically --

Are you in a position to take a complete, objective inventory of yourself and your life, to reflect on your situation and your history, and answer this shit honestly? With that much money on the line? In a culture that, let's be clear here, is somewhat disincentivising your other options?

When Dr. Dickhead shows you a photograph of two people who look like they're arguing and asks you to come up with something they might be saying, with all that cash and the promise of an answer on the line, are you in a position to genuinely confess to yourself that you can do so quite easily and potentially piss everything up that rope?

idk man.

To be absolutely clear, I think adults going in for an autism diagnosis who blast through this process and then clutch on to their diagnosis like it's the answer to everything are disabled.

Whether it's autism or misdiagnosed depression/anxiety or whatever the fuck man, I have far more in common with you than I do with nondisabled people so as far as I'm concerned we're Legolas and Gimli here at worst. There is no quotient of autism someone can be that will make me view them as more or less "deserving" of being in these disabled spaces. That's Aspie Supremacist shit and Aspie Supremacists are my enemy.

It can also be found on Google Drive here and on Bluesky here.