I feel like I need to write an article like “How to React When Your Friend Comes Out: A Guide For Really, Really Straight People” and it’s just eighty pages of me transcribing all the terrible experiences I’ve had coming out to straight people

Chapter 1: Why “I Knew It” Is Nowhere Near As Funny As You Think It Is

Chapter 2: Is Now The Time For An Abridged History Of You Being A Good Ally™? Signs Point To No

Chapter 3: It’s Cool That You Know Other Gay People, But Not Really Relevant Right Now

Chapter 4: Just Because You Have Gay Friends Does Not Make You An Equal Or Greater Authority On My Gayness

Chapter 5: This Is Actually Really Important So Please Stop Saying It Doesn’t Matter

Chapter 5A: Why “I Don’t Care If You’re Gay, Straight, Purple, Green, Whatever” Is Not A Supportive Statement

Chapter 5B: “I Don’t Care As Long As You Don’t Hit On Me/Turn Me” Has Never Been Funny

Chapter 6: Saying “It’s not a big deal, homophobia barely exists now” is not the slightest bit helpful

we are under fucking attack

oh god I had a really big epiphany about love and personhood but I'm too drunk for words. hold on I'm gonna paint it.

I feel like everyone worships avocado and I’m struggling because it just tastes like compressed wet grass lump but nobody will listen and I’m all alone in this world

A

some of y'all didnt grow up as the person nobody has a crush on and it really shows

some of yall never have to deal with the constant doubt in your own ability to be loved to the point where you get second hand embarrassment at the idea of someone being in love with you and finding you attractive because you’ve been diagnosed with ugly and cringy your whole life and it really shows