embrace the soil

and then you think, very quietly: actually. actually. I think I want a coffee. a nap. a sandwich. a book.

and I want to die turns day by day into I want to go home, I want to walk in the woods, I want to see my friend, I want to sit in the sun

I want a cleaner kitchen

I want a better job

I want to live somewhere else

And if you're lucky, you go to sleep and tomorrow just feels numb instead of wretched.

If you're lucky, and maybe have a bit of help, you get through another day, and another. You get some much needed rest. You get a fucking reprieve from the wretched ordeal of existing.

If you're lucky, "This seems endless" doesn't seem so endless. You sleep enough times to get to days that feel neutral, or at least not as unbearably bad.

If you're lucky, you see a bit of light. It's small. It seems so insignificant. You want something for what feels like the first time in forever.

Maybe it's just wanting to go to bed, instead of collapsing into bed because what's the point of staying up. Maybe it's wanting a bowl of the cereal you used to eat as a kid. The urge to rewatch your favorite movie. The desire to put in a specific shirt. So small, but it's the first time you can remember wanting something, anything, in so long.

Those wants grow bigger. Now you've hit the "a coffee, a book, a nap" listed above. But it seems to cruel to ignore the depthless gap that is the chasm between "I just want it all to stop" and "actually, I do want this one small thing."

[Image description: an indigenous woman of the Pataxo ethnicity observes flooding in Nao Xoha village after pouring rains, in Sao Joaquim de Bicas, in Minas Gerais state, Brazil January 12, 2022.]

Three years ago, the collapse of the tailings dam at an iron ore mine forced them to move their homes to higher ground.

Now, the rain-swollen Paraopeba River has flooded their new village and left them homeless again.

Some 50 indigenous people of the Pataxo-Hahahae tribe have taken shelter in a local school, but their houses in the village of Nao Xoha have been contaminated by muddy tailings-filled waters of the river.

“We lost houses. We lost bathrooms. We lost our medical center. We lost furniture. Our community is all flooded,” Chief Sucupira Pataxó-Hahahae said on Wednesday. “It makes your heart bleed.”

“The water contaminated by ore flooded our homes and backyards. There’s no way we can live there anymore. We have a lot of kids,” he said.

If you grow (or are planning to grow) your own apothecary of herbs it’s essential to find a healthy seed source! When we grow plants for medicine we create an intimate relationship with the plants’ quality and healthy seeds are the foundation of that relationship.

Terms to Describe Seeds/Plants

Open-Pollinated: Pollinated by insects, birds, wind, or other natural forces. No human intervention. Tend to be easy to save these seeds and grow true to type. Almost all herbal seeds are open-pollinated.

Heirloom: Have been handed down for generations. Typically regional varieties with hand-selected specific traits. They are open-pollinated and have stable characteristics from season to season. More common with veggies than with herbs.

Hybrid: Created from cross-pollinating two species/varieties to get desired characteristics. Hybridization happens naturally in many plants and humans have been breeding plants like this for generations. Not true to seed season after season like open-pollinated or heirloom seeds. If you save seeds from hybrid plants it’s tough to know what traits they’ll grow (it’s always fun to grow mysteries, but it’s not the best for when you’re growing medicines). Hybridized herb seeds are rare but potted herbs may be hybrids.

Cultivars: Cultivated varieties resulting from hybridization, selection, or natural mutations. Need to be propagated asexually (cuttings or division) to keep them true to type. Growing from seed the offspring usually won’t have the same desired characteristics as the parent plant, so not the best for growing medicine. A plant mutt!🥰

GMO: Genetically modified in a laboratory to produce the desired characteristics. Humans modify the genes through practices like gene-splicing. We aren’t fully sure what the long term impact of GMOs will be, but there’s concern for loss of biodiversity and impacting ecology and animal health. I do NOT recommend GMO seeds.

Cultivating seed sovereignty is so important! Put your money into purchasing ethical, organic, and sustainable seeds and save them season after season! In this era of big agribusiness and mega-corporations patenting, modifying, and controlling the distribution of seeds and plants it’s more important than ever.

Herbal Seed Suppliers & Nurseries in the United States

There’s so many wonderful suppliers out there, please add your favorites if you have recommendations! Also some of these companies ship internationally! I believe all companies listed are all-star suppliers, but I always recommend vetting each source yourself as some may offer both conventionally grown and organic seeds. Be sure to purchase species native to your area!

Strictly Medicinal Seeds: Oregon based with the largest collection of organically grown medicinal herb seeds & plants. Highly recommend!

Prairie Moon Nursery: LOTS of native plants of the eastern and central United States. Very affordable, organically grown, and cooperatively owned. Highly recommend!

Alliance of Native Seed Keepers: Indigenous owned. Medicinal and culinary herbs, flowers, and veggie seeds. Their mission is to redevelop the spiritual bonds between Indigenous peoples and plants. Highly recommend!

Fedco Seeds: Cooperatively-owned & based in Maine. Wide variety of medicinal and culinary herbs, native plants, and edible shrubs and trees. LOTS of cold-hardy varieties if that fits your climate!

Southern Exposure Seeds: Heirloom varieties. LOTS of varieties that will thrive in the mid-Atlantic and southeast US if that fits your climate!

Native Seeds Search: Indigenous run nonprofit seed conservation organization based in Tucson, Arizona. Mission to conserve and promote arid-adapted crop diversity of the Southwest if this fits your climate! Works to ensure that Indigenous people continue to have access to traditional seeds through their Native American Seed Request Program.

Crimson Sage Medicinal Plants Nursery: Small, woman owned, & based in northwest California. Huge selection of rare and endangered live plants and hard-to-find native American and European herbs.

Eloheh Seeds: Indigenous owned, based at the Eloheh Indigenous Center for Earth Jusice in Oregon. They have herb, flower, and vegetable seeds all organically grown, non-GMO, open-pollinated, and farm-direct source.

The Good Seed Co.: Based in Whitefish, Montana. Sells medicinal herbs, vegetables, and flower seeds selected for their permaculture value. Regionally adapted heirloom, open-pollinated, and non-GMO.

Hudson Valley Seed Co.: Based in Hudson Valley, New York. Certified organic, heirloom, and open-pollinated herb, flower, and vegetable seeds.

Indigenous Seed Initiative: Indigenous owned source for non-GMO wild and cultivated seeds from North America, Central and South America, Asia, Africa, and Europe.

Melanated Organics: Black owned source for sustainable, non-hybrid, organic seeds. Lots of herbs, vegetable, and flower seeds. Also has a selection of teas, garden supplies, health products, and body products.

True Love Seeds: Based in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Rare, open-pollinated, culturally important herbs, flowers, and vegetable seeds. All of their famers are committed to seed sovereignty and sustainable growing. They also have a Tumblr! @seedkeeping

Happy growing!🌱