Chaos97 @chaostributary97 - Tumblr Blog

they should invent a body that feels normal to be inside of

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batsandboba

⚠️ ROAD WORK AHEAD ⚠️

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________________ SPEEDING FINES DOUBLED WHEN WORKERS PRESENT —————————

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⚠️ ROAD WORK 500FT ⚠️

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🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧

🚚 🚚 🔩 웃 🧰 🕳️ 🪚웃 웃📋 웃 웃 🛠️ 🔨웃 🏗️ 🕳️ 웃 웃 🔧 🚚 🔩 🔩 🔩

🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧

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⚠️ END ROAD WORK ⚠️

rambler-of-procrastination

how does this only have 1400 notes

thebadevil

end road work? aw fuck i hope this car flies

here

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krystal-prisms

Someone add do you love the color of the sky

liquid-geodes

Someone do NOT do that, I’ll kill you with my flying car

yupokaysuremhm

I don’t have the original but I have this. Kill me.

kennyswurvegurl

I’m going to hurt all of you

supreme-leader-stoat

beardedmrbean

Waluigi was a nice touch.

lespoopypodle

We tf was the hat

positivelyapunovexponent-good

@linearmoss

kurulover

I hate that when you’re stressed enough your body just starts falling apart. I think it should realize you’re already stressed and don’t need that and start functioning better actually

kurulover

two-facedgod

I know you miss home, but try to remember everything this world has to offer - take it from a god who's been on this planet since the beginning. We've got thunderstorms, city lights, and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. You can listen to Nirvana, eat sushi, kiss your loved ones, and read comic books. Explore the forests. Lay out on the beach and get some sun. Get lost in the urban jungle. Earth is a beautiful and terrible place - I don't want you to miss out.

theotherwesley

I love baby foxes. Nothing has ever had less of an idea.

buffering

theotherwesley

feather obtained, purpose unclear

leaf obtained, purpose unclear

ground:

unclear

sibling obtained, purpose: biting

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prokopetz

Order of monks figures out the curse on the Tome of Cursèd Knowledge has a range limit, so they've got the book propped open on a pedestal while a guy like a hundred feet away peers through a rudimentary telescope to transcribe it. The acolyte turning the pages is blindfolded so they don't accidentally read it from within range.

mirrored-realities1

Order of monks whose job is specifically rules lawyering cursed artifacts. Eye glasses that grant the wearer "sight beyond sight" but renders them blind is given to the guy who is already blind. They find most of the cursed artifacts through them. Shoes that give the wearer inhuman speed but makes you run until you die is used for cardio, they put you on a treadmill with a rope around your waist and lift you up to take the shoes when you're done. The monks are the healthiest in the lands and let anyone who shows up use them. They have a room full of used monkey paws because they spend weeks bouncing the wish off of eachother to find any point where it can be turned against the wisher. Some wishes can take up to an hour to say, but they've never been hit with the classic ironic nonsense monkey paws like to pull.

The devil or whatever who makes these things has assembled their personal legion of doom to reverse rules lawyer a cursed artifact so foolproof that the monks can not crack it. They eventually, inevitably, achieve this. They forge a knife that demands the blood of the innocent, and have like a 50 foot scroll defining what "innocent" means in this context. No one can crack it, even after years of study. The devil laughs, finally triumphant.

The monks melt it down because destroying the things was always an option. The devil cries.

i-am-a-fish

don't be mean to yourself that's you

i-am-a-fish

you live there

On a walk with mum I got really thirsty (new meds) so reached into my bag for a paintbrush, unscrewed the handle (watercolour brush that stores a few mls inside) and drank what was inside to the utter shock of my watching mother who didn’t have any of that context

Being not out to my therapist has some drawbacks because too many conversations go like this:

Therapist: mhm… and what would you say to this part of you, if you could have a conversation with her?

Me, going through at least 10 stages of grief in a couple of seconds: oh, I guess I’ll tell… HER.. that uh, SHE’s doing a good job.. 😬

#therapy #nonbinary #queer

janedoodlee

I FUCKING LOVE THE WORLD!!!!!!!

I FUCKING LOVE HUMANITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WE PUT OUR HANDS ON CAVE WALLS TO SAY "I WAS HERE!"!!!!!!!

WE MUMIFIED OUR CATS WITH US WHEN WE DIED!!!!!!!!!

WE MADE PRINTING PRESSES SO MORE AND MORE PEOPLE COULD READ THE THINGS PEOPLE WRITE!!!!!

WE HELP EACH OTHER WHEN WE'RE SAD!!!!!!! WE MADE MEDICINE TO HELP EACH OTHER!!!!!!!!!

WE SAW BIRDS FLYING ABOVE US AND MADE PLANES TO JOIN THEM!!!!!!!!!

WE KEEP ALL THE MEAN ANIMALS AROUND AND HELP THEM EVEN THOUGH THEY WOULD HURT US BECAUSE WE WOULD FEEL BAD IF THEY WERE GONE BECAUSE OF US!!!!!!!!

WE WRITE STORIES AND SHARE THEM EVERY DAY!!!!! WE MADE TV SO WE CAN SHARE OUR STORIES!!!!! WE MADE THE INTERNET SO WE CAN SHARE OUR STORIES AND OUR ART AND TO JUST SAY HI TO PEOPLE ACROSS THE WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!

WE PUT A LITTLE DISC ON VOYAGER FOR ALIENS TO COME AND FIND US TO SAY HELLO!!!!!!!!!!!

WE DO SPACE TRAVEL JUST TO SEE HOW FAR WE CAN GO!!!!!!!!

I LOVE HUMANITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I LOVE THE WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I FUCKING LOVE HUMANITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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muramaasa

conversation starters for british transmascs between the ages of 14 and 24:

what's your favourite season of taskmaster?

who's your favourite member of shoot from the hip?

which sport have you been permanently deterred from after intense bullying in secondary school? (hint: common answers include netball and gymnastics/trampolining!)

nat20charismasave

i am not transmasc (that might change) (my gender... is... confused)

...

but...

• i can't really decide but i'm currently rewatching from series one (i really like the most recent one though because of reece shearsmith and phil ellis hehe)

• either luke, or aj

• tennis, table tennis, basketball, football etc etc etc i am the least athletic person now i am homeschooled >:(

chaostributary97

I’m not British, but

—Series 7 probably (I know I know it’s so basic) but I mean all of them are amazing maybe series 14 I just finished rewatching that

—Tom (again they’re all incredible but personally I perhaps harbour a tiny crush on Tom he’s so.)

—Most of them! Definitely running, rugby, cricket/baseball… hurdles, longjump, highjump… I’m not athletic

calugaritsa

misophonia is like one of those curses from greek myths. there's no way to accommodate for this. i'm in physical pain and on the verge of screaming because people around me are *checks smudged notes on hand* chewing their food & breathing

#in the modern world I can wear my headphones 24/7. which I do.#which I guess is the equivalent of Sisyphus pushing the rock into an elevator to get it up the hill #over and over again #which feels like an improvement but well #one must imagine ~Sisyphus~ me ~happy~ not in auditory agony all of the time

Me: oh yeah I’m dairy free (chugs a cup of milk) I just have to be careful you know (eats a bowl of cheese) and monitor my intake (runs to the bathroom in agony) it can upset my stomach (throws up) hahaha

daedalusmachine

message to all nonbinary people PLEASE SURVIVE AND LIVE FOREVER

marshmallow-dust

reblog to tell prev its gonna be okay

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Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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Anya is LIVE right now

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melr2025

The crushing realisation that my friends have other friends that I don’t even know and sometimes those are actually their main friends

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