softcore porn

I love it when semi trucks come to a stop and let that little fart out

sorry babe i can’t hang out tonight my quest marker says i have to report back to the jarl

your honor my client asks that now we do a silly one

it straight up smells like spiders in here

having a job is very weird bcos by and large your coworkers will be a variety of ages and you will not all be at the same stage of life. your coworker will be like, well I’m off home to spend time with my husband & child, what are you going to do with your evening? and you’re like, well, I plan on playing Rollercoaster Tycoon for as much as it as possible

i come back from a book and its like how the hell are you people just going on like this. didnt you read the book with me. how is the real world so disconnected from the whole book world i just experienced

A couple nights ago I had a nightmare that involved having to shelter in place in a CVS it was very scary but as I was waiting for it to be safe to go outside again I noticed there was a product called something like “Men’s Overnight Moonscreen” and I picked it up and it said it was “SPF 4”

see? black cat bring good luck, not bad luck!