Alma Peregrine x reader “I just want them to be happy” maybe?
decision day
pairing: Alma Peregrine x reader
words: 1028
warning: sad
a/n: not gonna lie, i broke my own heart while writing this, but thank you for the request! And why the hell isn´t the movie on netflix anymore? :(
It was a quiet morning, the weather was perfect, it was neither too cold nor too warm. Like every morning in the last month, you and Alma sat in her garden; she with her cup of tea, you with your cup of coffee, in which you have been stirring for minutes without even having a sip. The only thing you could do was stare at the littles waves you´d created through the stirring.
“What is going on in this beautiful head, my love?”
You were unable to look up, the movement of your coffee was too hypnotizing. It wasn't until Alma's hand laid on your thighs that you could free yourself from it. She had knitted her eyebrows together questioningly, trying to read you. She had never seen you so withdrawn as she did today. Then, apparently, she remembered what day it was today.
Slowly she put her cup on the table in front of you and slid closer to you on your bench until your legs touched. “Come here.” Invitingly, she put her arm around you so that you could lean against her. You were trying to swallow the tears that come up. Who would have thought this day would be so hard? Certainly not you when you arrived here a month ago.
It was suppossed to last a month at the most, just another job.
You were a demi-ymbryne, you couldn´t create loops or turn into a bird like ymbrynes, but you were there to maintain existing loops, which was why you traveled around the world, helping ymbrynes in need for a short span of time and then continued traveling.
This also was the original plan when you arrived in Cairnholm, until you´d met Alma Peregrine.
With her looks and personality it wasn´t a surprise when you fell for the woman. What came as a surprise was her feelings towards you and the chaos that followed. You both knew that a normal longtime relationship that were normal between two ymbrynes wasn´t in the picture, because it would only break your hearts when you would leave after a few weeks. That was why you two decided to live in the moment, enjoy the fling as long as time would allow it.
“I don´t want to go.”, you whispered into the silence and felt her stiffen, her arms tightened around you and you laid your hand on her chest, directly over her quick beating heart, like you would always do when you shared her bed.
She wasn´t one to talk about her feelings openly, maybe because she always puts her children over her own well being. Therefore you knew you were special to her, when she quietly whispered back: “Me neither.”
A tear escaped you, rolled down your cheek and hit her suit, she allowed it and you let your tears soak the dark fabric.
You cried quitly for who knows how long. You cried over the soft moments in bed, where she would hold you, cradle you. You cried over missed chances to show her how much you loved her, longed for her. Why did it have to happen? You were fine. Now, all you could think about was her. How she smiled at you when you talked about your travels and how she asked questions, showed interest like no one before. How you two would sit outside every night after the reset, holding hands, talking about everything. You couldn´t stop thinking about the mornings where she would wake up before you and you woke up to her perfecting her looks in the golden glow of the rising sun or the mornings where it was the other way around and you watched her beautiful sleeping form, her black hair all over your pillows, her face free from make-up. It was an honor that she would let her guard adown around you.
You wanted to stay, wake up with her next to you for the rest of your life. You wanted to be on her side when she was with her children, teaching them about life, protecting them at all cost.
The thought about leaving her, kissing her for the last time, seeing her face when you would leave in the end, it broke your heart. Just for a second, you´d allowed yourself to the thought to leave in the dark, but you couldn´t do this to the children and especially not to her.
After some time there were no tears left and you felt drained.
When you looked up to her, you froze. She had her eyes closed, her rosy cheeks glistening with wet tears she cried silently. Her lips were tightly pressed together but you saw the trembling.
“Alma”, you whispered; she didn´t open her eyes, only a small sob escaped her.
Everything in you hurt, she never let anyone see her like this. How long had she been alone? With no one that loved her like you?
You turned so she could wrap her arms completely around you. She hid her face in the crook of your neck, cold tears and her wet lips touched the skin there.
In that moment you made your mind up. You couldn´t leave her.
You could feel her take a deep breath before she wiped the tears away and looked at you, her eyes still glassy. “Is it selfish if i want you to stay?”
You laid your hand on her cheek and stroke softly over her face. “I know you feel the same way I do and I can´t bring myself to leave.” Her heartbeat quickened beneath your hand. “How could I go out in the world again, now that I have found you?” Slowly you came closer, your lips already touching hers, when you finally said the three words, which once they were out where more meaningful than anything else.
“The only thing I want for you is to be happy, (y/n).”
“But I am with you! Never in my life have I felt the way you make me feel.”, you interrupted her, your words leading her to sob again: “Then stay with me, love. Stay with me.”
“I will, Alma. I will never leave you.”
