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FMU 34 | 25H 15 | KGP 31 | ASW 17 | 5STF 10 | WGU 8 | C:E 6 | OFL 8

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things to keep in mind; i write extremely slow-paced emotional slowburns—which means sex happens early and it’s a narrative tool, but feelings won’t emerge before the idk 500k word mark | my stories are not easy to read. | all of my stories are written in limited point of view. | i have zero tolerance for bad faith, whining, harassment, hostility, or discourse bait. | i don’t condone supporting plagiarism. | update schedule is explained in faq. | this blog is diehard ot7 ➜ solos gtfo | if you make a post about my fics, use the tag format! (eg: #fmu) | i won’t reply to questions already answered on my author notes. read them. | my characters are not moral paragons and speak and act in ways that are realistic for them, which can include harmful language or views—this is not endorsement.

read. the. warnings. they’re not there for decoration.

i reserve the right to ban you from my spaces if i catch you interacting with me against the rules of this blog (minor, solo stan, pot stirrer, harasser (supporter), plagiarist (supporter), etc). drama, speculations and negativity are not welcome here in any of its forms. ‘no hate’ ‘no offense’ ’i say this gently’ will not excuse you from being a jerk. you have been warned.

HAHAHAHA YESSS Zyzy! I have rambled about this on the OFL channel buuut OFL!Tae’s love language is gift giving and he will absolutely do unhinged absurd things for Gomi.

… Even camp a Celine store overnight for an exclusive collection.

For the record, I know that the series is supposed to be unsettling and psychological- which I genuinely adore and I don’t want you to change a thing about it EVER!! I’m just wondering, like are their characters able to even feel love for eachother? Or is it just not in their nature?

Hi, my love! First of all, thank you so much for taking the time not only to read Altars in Shallow Waters, but to think about these two deeply enough to formulate such an interesting question. These are genuinely my favourite asks to receive because I am, unfortunately for everyone involved, a massive psychology nerd. Who could have guessed? Certainly not the woman writing 300,000 words about mutual obsession and religious psychosexual yearning.

So! Onto your question—I do believe that both Taehyung and Pearl are capable of experiencing love—and that they will, at some point, love one another.

Whether you, as the reader, will recognise what they build as love is an entirely different question. (☞ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)☞

Love is complicated because we tend to use the word as though it has one universal, easily identifiable shape. In ordinary conversation, ‘love’ usually carries several other assumptions inside it: care, respect, kindness, trust, and a genuine consideration for the other person’s autonomy. With Moss and Pearl, those qualities become… muddy. Deeply, catastrophically muddy. We are in shallow waters, after all. Ba-dum-tss. Okay. I’ll see myself out.

Because obsession and possessiveness inevitably interfere with respect. ‘You are mine, and you have no say in it’ may sound delicious inside the controlled vacuum of fiction, where we can safely explore frightening or transgressive desires, but it leaves very little room for the other person’s agency. So, when possession starts disguising itself as devotion, is it still love? Can love exist beside control, dependency, and mutual corruption, or do those things eventually consume it?

The important distinction, though, is that neither of them is incapable of love because they are psychologically complicated or wounded. Their experiences have simply distorted the ways they understand, express, and receive affection. Taehyung has learned to interpret self-erasure and worship as love; Pearl has learned to interpret being chosen, admired, and needed as proof that she is worthy of it. They are both reaching for something genuine through frameworks that are profoundly unhealthy—and, unfortunately, perfectly fitted to each other.

So love may look different for them, but different does not automatically mean unreal. They themselves may call it love with complete sincerity while you look at the wreckage around them and say, ‘babygirl, that is a hostage situation.’ Both interpretations can coexist, and I very intentionally want the final answer to remain partly in your hands.

I can’t say much more without spoiling their progression!—and we still have approximately 100–150k words left, because apparently I have never met a concise thought in my life. A lot can happen between here and the ending.

Once the story is complete, though, I will be SAT at the kitchen table with red string, academic papers, and matcha lattes, ready to discuss whether they loved each other, possessed each other, consumed each other, or invented some secret fifth thing that should probably be studied in a laboratory.

Hi, my love. I’m going to be very honest with you, because I don’t think telling you, ‘nobody will mock you!’ would actually help. Sadly, someone might. (long reply ahead! fair warning 🫶🏻)

I think one of the things you eventually have to make peace with when you start posting online—especially once more people begin finding your work—is that some people won’t like you. Some people won’t like your stories. Some people won’t like one particular sentence you wrote, or your dialogue, or your pacing, or the way you describe things. And some people will dislike you before they’ve even made a sincere effort to understand you.

That’s just part of existing around other human beings, unfortunately. Horrible design flaw. Whoever coded us needs to be fired.

You can try to be as careful as humanly possible. You can reread everything fifty times, explain every intention, make every warning clear, soften every opinion, and anticipate every potential interpretation—and somebody can still decide that you meant something entirely different. Some people are simply committed to misunderstanding others. They’ll take whatever you say and force it into the version of you they’ve already created in their head because that version fits their own values, assumptions, or narrative better.

You can’t always explain yourself out of that. In fact, the more you explain yourself to someone acting in bad faith, the more material you sometimes give them to twist. Very fun and normal! (－‸ლ)

And this isn’t only about posting fanfiction. It’s something you’ll encounter in life generally. You can’t be likable to everyone. Maybe you accidentally upset somebody and they never communicate it to you, so you don’t even know there’s resentment there. Maybe your personalities simply don’t work together. Maybe they project something onto you. Maybe they’ve decided you represent something they hate. Or maybe they just don’t like you, with no dramatic moral explanation behind it.

And the last one is actually fine, because people are allowed not to like us. People are allowed not to like what we create. Like, I write several stories, and I know perfectly well that not everybody who reads FMU is going to enjoy Kkangpae, or The 25th Hour, or anything else I post. Some people read one story, some three. Some read everything because they apparently enjoy suffering and emotionally unavailable men as much as I do. That’s their choice. (ily masochists ❤️)

That’s also why I include warnings. I want people to know what they’re getting into so they can decide whether something is for them. I don’t want anybody forcing themselves through twelve thousand words they hate because they think they owe me loyalty. I’m not holding anyone hostage. My basement is already overcrowded with unfinished drafts, plot documents, and eight different versions of Bangtan that need a pat on the back and some brownies.

If someone stops enjoying my writing, I’d rather they step away. That isn’t an insult to me. Sometimes a story simply isn’t for you. You close the tab and go find something that is. Normal human behaviour. Beautiful. Everyone survives. ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

There’s a difference, though, between not enjoying somebody’s work and deliberately humiliating them for making it.

And sadly, yes, there are people who’ll do the second thing. They’ll mock a sentence. They’ll screenshot dialogue without context. They’ll make fun of a plot point, your summary, the trope you chose, the way you respond to comments, how enthusiastic you are, how serious you are, how often you update, how rarely you update… literally anything. Because when somebody is determined to ridicule you, they’ll always find a reason.

You could write the most technically immaculate story in human history and someone would call it pretentious. You could write something simple and heartfelt and someone would call it juvenile. You cannot win a game in which the rules change depending on what allows another person to feel superior that day. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I’m also not going to tell you that it shouldn’t hurt, because of course it can hurt. You spent time creating something. You cared about it. You probably put parts of yourself into it, even if the story has dragons and mafia members and a man with seven piercings growling against a wall or whatever (haha… who would… do that… am i right…?) Somebody treating that vulnerability like entertainment can feel horrible. So of course you are allowed to be upset. You’re allowed to cry, get angry, complain to a friend, close the app, eat something comforting, and spend an hour thinking everybody on earth should have their internet access revoked. You’re a person. Your nervous system reacts when somebody is cruel to you. Negative emotions are not personal failures. They are physical and emotional responses moving through your nervous system. Let them arrive, let them do their job, and then let them pass. The goal isn’t to never feel hurt, that’s impossible. But we can stop temporary hurt from becoming the permanent authority over our choices.

Someone mocking you is something that happened. It doesn’t have to become evidence that you should never create again. :)

And please remember that cruelty is usually much louder than enjoyment! One person making fun of your paragraph might post about it repeatedly, while fifty people quietly read that exact paragraph and enjoy it. Somebody might smile at a joke you wrote and never comment. Somebody might feel understood by your character but be too shy to tell you. Somebody might reread your story every few months. Somebody might start writing because yours made them think, ‘wait maybe I could do this too!’

You might never know! Most people who don’t like your story will simply leave. They won’t announce their departure. They won’t write a thesis about why chapter four ruined their bloodline. They’ll click back and continue with their day. The cruel people can look like a majority because they’re making the most noise, but being loud doesn’t make them representative of everyone reading you.

So my genuine advice is to protect your peace from the beginning. Curate your space. Block people who clearly aren’t interacting with you in good faith. Delete comments that were only written to hurt you. Mute accounts or words that make you spiral. Don’t search your own username looking for secret conversations about yourself—I say this lovingly as someone whose curiosity would personally march me toward the electric chair while I asked whether they had Wi-Fi there.

You don’t owe every opinion equal consideration. Constructive criticism is thoughtful, specific, and usually offered because somebody wants to help you improve. And it’s only valid as long as the creator themselves has said they’re open to take it, especially when we talk about fanfiction. Public mockery is somebody using your vulnerability as entertainment, and those aren’t the same thing—you don’t have to treat them as if they are.

You can also start small! You don’t have to throw your entire heart onto the internet on day one and stand beside it like a medieval knight protecting the kingdom. I literally posted FMU chapter 1 just for kicks and if you check the Wattpad dates, you’ll notice I took ages to update. I don’t think I even got a single like BAHAHAHA.

But see! Courage can be uploading one chapter, putting your phone down, and going to make dinner while internally screaming.

Just—don’t wait until you’re completely fearless, because I don’t think most creators ever are! You post while scared. Then you post again while slightly less scared. Then eventually you develop a mildly concerning amount of audacity and start threatening your readers with writing strikes when they bully your fictional men. Growth! (ง’̀-‘́)ง

There could be someone out there who would absolutely adore the story currently sitting inside your drafts! It’d be such a shame to let the possibility of one cruel person take that experience away from both of you. (｡•́︿•̀｡)

So post when you feel ready. Protect yourself where you can. Let yourself be hurt if somebody is cruel, but don’t build a permanent home inside that moment! Embarrassment passes. The regret of never letting yourself try can stay much longer.

And when you finally post your story, I hope you’re incredibly proud of yourself! 🫂

Not at all!! I’m actually glued to my phone after posting because I love seeing everyone’s reactions in real time. I usually check Wattpad first because inline comments make me cackle out loud like an idiot—especially when you all collectively start yelling at the exact same sentence. (￣▽￣)

Then I lurk in the specific channel of the fic on Discord to read the live reactions, theories, accusations, emotional breakdowns, and occasional threats against my male lead’s rights (valid btw). It’s honestly one of my favorite parts of posting!! I spend hours alone writing these chapters, so getting to watch all of you experience them together feels a little magical. Also terrifying.

And to think FMU was originally supposed to be my silly, low-effort little palate cleanser because Kkangpae had too much lore and my brain needed to breathe. HAHAHAHA. Naturally, I failed spectacularly, gave everyone a million layers of trauma, made the plot emotionally convoluted, and somehow created a helicopter cat dad who is terrible at feelings but annoyingly easy to love. Very on brand for me, unfortunately.

Yes, I love both of them!! If you check the general FMU playlist—and especially the playlist of songs Jungkook plays on his guitar—you’ll basically catch me leaving little fingerprints of my own music taste all over the story. ☺️ (You can see Yellow was the first song I added to the FMU playlist and John Mayer’s songs were the first ones I added to the JK playlist!) A lot of those songs are things I genuinely listen to, love, or have had playing in the background while writing certain scenes, so they naturally end up shaping the atmosphere of FMU even when I’m not consciously trying to make them important.

‘Yellow,’ in particular, has been there since the very beginning. It was one of those tiny threads my brain snagged onto before the story had fully become a story. That’s why yellow has been such a consistent motif throughout FMU from the start, including the banners, dividers, visuals, and little details scattered through the chapters. The song carries this warmth and devotion that feels almost painfully gentle, and I always knew I wanted some of that emotional language underneath the story. 💛

As for John Mayer, I already liked his music, but I also did some research into his career and his reputation as a guitarist because I wanted Jungkook to have musicians he genuinely admired—not just artists whose songs happened to fit a scene. Mayer felt like someone FMU!Jungkook would look up to specifically as a guitarist and musician, study technically, collect vinyl records from, and probably become unbearably opinionated about at three in the morning. ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

Oh, this is SO cute to hear—someone is genuinely waiting to binge one of my fics?? I’m putting this in a little glass case for emotional emergencies, thank you. (╥﹏╥)

I’m currently hoping to have ASW finished by the end of summer(????, but it depends quite heavily on how my promotion process goes. Provided everything behaves and the universe doesn’t personally smite me for having ambitions, I’m hoping to start posting ASW weekly (ambitious) in September! (keyword hoping please DO NOT quote me on that, we all know how the universe likes messing with me)

That being said, I will always encourage people to read along while it’s ongoing—not only because ongoing support means an unbelievable amount to writers and genuinely fuels us to keep going, but because you get to join the collective descent into madness in real time. I completely understand being wary of unfinished stories, though! Thankfully, I’ve been posting here for a year and a half now, and I haven’t abandoned a single one of mine, so you can trust me on that.

You absolutely cannot trust me regarding my narrative decisions, however. That would be reckless.

I finished writing it not long ago baby! I normally wait until I’m done with the editing process to post an actual teaser so that I can also send the early access live on Ko-fi! So we’re gonna have to wait a little yet, I fear. 😔