Kiki | hiatus

You’re wondering why Project Epitaph (PE) and We Grew Up Somewhere Along the Way (WGU) don’t use the maknae line when we could have made them “desirable” instead of giving the spotlight to “less wanted” members like Namjoon and Hobi?

First of all: Grow up. Second of all: Let me blow your mind real quick.

Namjoon and Hobi were chosen because of what the stories needed—not because of who gets the most Tumblr gifs or TikTok edits. Project Epitaph literally hinges on psychological warfare, survivor’s guilt, resentment, and forced vulnerability in an environment that’s rotting from the inside out. Namjoon? That man carries grief and god complex in equal measure like it’s casual weekday. No other member fits the silent tension of “I was supposed to be the architect of our future but I’m also the reason we’re dying” like him. PE is a tragic romance. Namjoon was born for that role.

Now WGU? Hoseok is not some filler choice. It’s about childhood friends growing into messy, half-functioning adults with creative burnout, unspoken sexual tension, and a shared history that tastes like rust. Hoseok as a hentai artist who draws the reader from memory and doesn’t know how to talk about feelings but flirts like he’s on fire? No one else could eat that role like him. He’s literally emotionally avoidant golden retriever in a tank top, and it’s working.

The maknae line—who I love dearly, by the way—weren’t ignored. They star in other fics where their emotional palettes matched the narrative beats. Jungkook in FMU, Taehyung in ASW, Jimin in 5STF? They’re all perfectly used. But shoving them into fics where their personalities and traumas don’t fit just because they’re “popular” would be… bad writing. And I’m not a bad writer. Like. Be serious.

And lastly—if you think desire is only about who trends the most, you are reading my fics all wrong. WGU has a breeding kink. PE has enemies-to-lovers life-or-death horny. Namjoon and Hobi are desired in ways that require you to read deeper. That’s the whole point of my writing: slow burn, psychological mess, earned heat.

Also, I clearly state in my navi that this blog is DIEHARD OT7. Any negativity toward any member will be handled accordingly. I’ve received a few asks like this in the past days and I’m tired. This is the last time I’m addressing this.

No, I wouldn't.

I would love to give you the prettier, more palatable answer because it sounds noble and Main Character-y, but that would be me being fake and trying to be agreeable and likeable, and that’s just… not my brand. Honesty is the whole point here, and I genuinely think it’s one of the main reasons Kiki Nation stays so healthy: nobody has to guess what I mean, because I say it. 🫡

Many of you weren't around for the early days, but I worked with a pretty strict engagement goal system because I have ADHD. I know I repeat this ad nauseam, but I genuinely cannot stress it enough: I do not have an internal reward system. It's just not there. Never has been. I don't feel satisfaction after completing things—just this vague sense of relief, like ticking off a box on a list that immediately repopulates with more boxes. I've always relied heavily on external motivation and pressure, and before anyone goes ‘oh that's so sad,’ it's not. It's neuroscience. It's how my brain specifically functions, and I built a system that worked around it instead of pretending it didn't exist.

Longfics especially need that external scaffolding because they're not exactly the winning trend right now. One-shots dominate, short-form content reigns supreme post-TikTok, and attention spans are in the gutter. But I've always gravitated toward long, heavy storylines—I can't connect with a book under 100k words or a series under three seasons. That's just how I'm wired. So naturally, that's what I create. The downside? When you're the creator in an era of fifteen-second dopamine hits, you're fighting an uphill battle.

The good thing is that Kiki Nation has ALWAYS been incredibly understanding and accommodating about it—I will never be thankful enough for that (ily all so so so so much <333). But the truth is, at some point the system got messy. I'd set goals and people would create fake accounts to boost chapters, which was sweet but also unhinged BECAUSE I had this two-way commitment thing going: if I was asking you guys to commit, then I owed you the same, so I'd promise to post chapters once goals were met. Except goals started getting hit within twenty-four hours and I cannot physically write at that pace while maintaining the quality I'm aiming for. The pressure became unsustainable. So I let it go.

Now I'm more laid-back. I try to keep you fed weekly, I check engagement to see what to prioritize, and chapters tend to go up naturally after goals are reached—but ultimately my ADHD brain makes the final call. (。- ̀ᴗ-)✧ It's healthier this way. The goals still get met pretty quickly, but without the weight they carried in the beginning.

But yeah. Without engagement, I wouldn't keep writing. My ADHD makes it impossible to keep pushing if nobody cares. That's just the reality of it. ⊂(￣▽￣)⊃

Tumblr won’t let me post it here because it’s too heavy, but try Twitter! I uploaded it on Twitter too. <3

OHHH no no no HAHAHAHAHAHA. Kkangpae is my first work ever POSTED. I’ve always been a writer, I just never posted because I’m the type of person who’s always lost motivation after writing a couple chapters. I also tend to switch fandoms a lot, my ADHD rarely lets me enjoy a fandom as long as I have now with BTS.

My wattpad drafts are a humiliation ritual, honestly.

And no I won’t be showing them, don’t ask. They’re EMBARRASING BAHAHAHHAHAHAHA.

The reason why Kkangpae saw the light of the day is because I posted a snippet of it on Tumblr last year and a lot of people liked it, so it gave me the little push I needed to post it! But Kkangpae is a work of maaany years as well. And many, many revisions…

I think that’s not a mystery though, you can clearly see my writing style evolving throughout the chapters hahahaha.

What if our disagreements are mutual on both ends and they block me first? I dont want them to access my blog either, which they can still do if they have me blocked.

(Im only bringing this up because ive been cyberbullied/stalked)

you can actually block them back.

if you block someone from their profile (so if you didn’t directly go to your settings and manually type down their url in your “blocked tumblrs” list), it will only block them on your main blog, not any of your side blogs.

just check @borathae 's profiles, they have what you searching for :)

⤷ ゛The Dad Universe by @spideyjimin ˎˊ˗

⤷ ゛Tatemae; 建前 by @99liners ˎˊ˗

⤷ ゛The Strings Theory by @jungkoode ˎˊ˗

( then tag as many people as words, or however many you want! )

Tagged by @suzukiblu.

Motormaster thrust his palm at Starscream, all five fingers spread. The jet flicked his ailerons in a Cybertronian gesture equally as offensive.

Thanks for the tag, @sugar-petals 🩷

thanks a lot alyssa 🤍

The sudden spin makes your stomach do a flip, your hands instinctively flying up to grip his shoulders for dear life. He holds you there, suspended, his face aligned dangerously right above yours. You can feel his warm breath ghosting over your lips.

“This.”

Jungkook puts both hands over his face.

“You okay?” Hoseok asks him, mildly.

“No! Dude, this is crazy! Spiritual Kairos with an elemental subdomain. Independent consciousness, emotional feedback, temperature regulation—and he’s six. He’s six and he’s running a more sophisticated manifestation than most adult Outliers I’ve—”

He removes his hands. His eyes are bright.

“Oh my god. I can’t wait to train with you. We’re gonna be best friends. I’m going to figure out your nymph situation if it takes me the rest of this timeline—do you like ice cream? I feel like you like ice cream. I’m going to get you sooooo much ice cream.”

“I like strawberry,” the boy says, warming to this arrangement.

“Strawberry. Obviously. The best flavor. That’s how I know we’re going to get along.”