kadigan

Absolutely fascinating use of free will. Was it always your life's goal to get electrocuted in the shower while your screams are drowned out by the screams of The Machine?

to get a job you have to have 10 years of experience in every possible tool and task that could even tangentially be related to what you'll actually be doing and then you have to prove that you're the smartest person in the world and you're organised and proactive and have great problem solving skills. and then if you beg on your knees like a dog enough and actually get the job, the entire first week will be doing spent reading shit like: 'MANDATORY HEALTH AND SAFETY TRAINING: if the floor is SLIPPERY or BUMPY, you might TRIP. this is BAD. please take this test to check your knowledge. question 1: is tripping bad? yes/no'

proving you're human to management by answering wrong

I told a guy his total was 13.21 and he said “wish it were that year, could actually get some good music on the radio”

breaking news from the AP, our boys on the front have just sacked constantinople. take that, heretics. coming up next are the soothing lute dirges of bing crosby

every evening I see a cool bug in the bathroom and every morning the bug is mysteriously missing and the fat fucking bathroom spider is somehow even fatter

(As an aside, a claim you might bump into in some sources is that Anne McCaffrey's Dragonriders of Pern series is the ultimate inspiration for D&D's chromatic dragons; however, while the first Pern novel does pre-date OD&D by six years, as far as I know there's no evidence that D&D's creators were aware of McCaffrey's work. Gygax in particular wasn't keen on "women's fantasy", for reasons I trust are obvious!)

Guys please we cant keep doing this

for real tho it feels exhausting that ive seen this whole "woman should be allowed to abstain from X beauty standard" -> "i perform X beauty standard, am i evil? do you think im evil? please forgive me i came up with a dozen excuses 🥺" since like 2015 (and i know its been going on longer than that) like girl thats not the poiiiiint

look me in the eyes. repeat after me. "i face societal pressure to perform this beauty standard. i should not face that pressure. i conform to this standard. i am rewarded for performing to this standard. i need to respect women who do not perform this standard. this is not about whether or not i am a sinner for wearing makeup."

subtextjob from a girl with huge implications

if the emperors of rome can add extra months that actually fuck the calendar up i'm allowed to add a new month that lasts 0.0000 picoseconds

the last holiday that hasn't been commercialized

i made this up when i was a little kid and nothing would make me happier than to see people celebrating it for years to come

zenquish approaches. prepare to rejoice! briefly!