about me <3
im just a tired girl with a love for books, tea, and notebooks.
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@chaiandpages
about me <3
im just a tired girl with a love for books, tea, and notebooks.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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undermoss stuff 🥺
Someone tell me how I'm already waiting for next summer...it literally IS summer????
The popularity of the "incompetent stupid piece of shit husband and competent wife who loves him anyways" trope in media is a psyop to make women believe its normal to settle for an incompetent stupid piece of shit husband
it’s august. the golden hour of summer. swallow the rest of the light. let it sit under your tongue until winter.

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having chronic pain is just like. ur sitting perfectly still doing nothing meanwhile the space above your head keeps flashing -1hp -1hp -1hp -1hp -1hp -1hp -1hp -1hp -1hp -1hp
this “bon appetit” meme has turned into some sort of bizarre telephone game where each incarnation sounds more and more different than the original. in what way does “bon appetit” sound like “osteoporosis”
i don’t know but it’s cracking me up every time i even think about it
bon appetit -> bone apple teeth -> bone ??? ??? -> osteoporosis
this has layers, man
30.07.2026—changed my research focus quite a bit, so been working hard on that
there are pieces of myself i would have lost entirely if i had not written them down. old loves. former selves. small griefs no one else noticed. moments of joy that would have disappeared without leaving a mark. writing is how i tell them:
you were here.
you mattered.
i remember.
dont you (i) just love to torture yourself (myself) ?

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my quiet holy catalyst
I have a weekly meeting that I usually don't go to in person, but I wanted to see the sun and people and my uni so I used that as an excuse for getting out of the house this time.
Observation 1: life feels very bearable and dare I say very good when I'm thinking about stuff while dressed in normal clothes, under the sun and with strangers around me.
Observation 2: I'm definitely sick. I was pushing my symptoms back by sheer force of will the last couple days bc ya girl would not get sick on the day of a very important exam, that would certainly be her brain making the symptoms up, and she's not weak-minded, no sir. But oh! The exam is done! AND BAM. Feverish and coughing and sneezing and my eyes are comically unevenly swollen and yes.
On a serious note, there's no glory in sacrificing your sleep, exercise, mental health and life in general just to survive in academia. I can't say it's worth it. I can't say I won't do it again, either. It's just something to think about, the way my body basically shuts down after a stressful period bc it kinda has to force me to take a breather.
I have to say that, even so, I see this whole thing very detachedly. I can logically think that all of those things made me sick (I didn't leave my house the week before that, and no one around me has shown any symptoms; it's not even flu season) - lack of sleep, exercise, the sheer stress I was in (and still am, since I didn't get my grades back yet) - all of that resulted in me being sick. Which is kinda funny to think about? Like really. It sounds a bit absurd to me, that this is just something that happens. Anyway. Another long week ahead.
290726ꨄ︎
low quality because of low lighting. It has been raining non-stop so I'm motivated and it's so cloudy that I like to study in low light. Ice coffee either way! I'm preparing for the new semester, I'm so nervous
Also I'm doing "bed rest" (not really doing it, more like chair rest) because I twisted my ankle but I'm fine !!
The midjourney stuff just reminds of when we were trying to find a new platform to host the ao3 donation form, and companies kept trying to tell me about all their "ai" features that would track donor engagement, and figure out the optimal pattern to email individual donors asking for follow up donations, and all the ways they suggest we manipulate people into staying on our websites. It was a great way to filter out who either wasn't listening to us when we described our ethics and donor base, or just didn't believe us.
Now granted ao3 is a unique case based on a) the amount of page views we get in any given time period and b) the fact that most donors absolutely do Not want to be identified as such anywhere, (the default "list of recent donors" module got nuked Immediately) but it surprised me some that the concept of "donors who value their privacy and would be furious at even the whiff of AI" is unique. Some of us really are just existing in different worlds.
Op's tags
#I just started dropping '2.5 Billion page views a month'#into conversations as early as possible bc they would Not believe me otherwise#it was right up there with having to say 'csam attacks' to get them to take my compartmentalization of information concerns seriously#turns out those are the magic words#otw#op
The last part was kind of insane, honestly. When we started changing platforms for the donor database, I kept telling them that yes I was aware we already had an account for the volunteer database, and no that could not be connected to the donor database. And they said yes fine sure and then connected them anyway. And I called them back and said, excuse me, I'm confused, I can see both databases. And they said, well, yeah, but it's only you, someone has to be able to see both databases to give other users access. The other users can't see both. And I said, no, we have been asking for a completely separate database. I should not be able to see both. And they said, you are one organization, one organization can't have two databases. And I said, last year someone used our volunteer email list to commit approximately one thousand felonies. Please feel free to imagine how much worse it could have been had they had a way to use volunteers' email addresses to get their legal names. We do not want this to be something anyone can do no matter how much we trust them. Let me describe those felonies to you in more detail. And they emailed me two hours later and said, you can have two separate databases.
This post feels like watching an iceberg go by in clear water. The amount of stuff going on beneath the surface of AO3 just astonishes.
(ID in alt)
Approximately one THOUSAND felonies
#100DaysofProductivity — Day 32
monday (ugh) the guy who used to be my crush decided to dm me (yay) i still haven’t progressed much on my paper (ugh) my mom secured the bts oreos / boreos (yay)

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i'm back!! so sorry for my prolonged absence; i was back in the UK for a bit visiting my partner for his master's graduation! but now i am back and very very behind on my summer work ;-;
today i'm working on my theoretical base model! still very much out of my depth with psychology literature
Stem photodump
7-28-26