Nyx

Hi there, it's Nyx 🍵

She/her, INTJ - 5w4

CompSci Master's candidate

Former musician, dancer, writer; sold my soul for stem

✨ chronic procrastinator ✨

youtube channel || storygraph || 2nd tumblr

say hi to another little friend 🐦

I'm officially done with my thesis project (not The Thesis, just the project, BUT EVEN SO) 🎉🎉

No, it's not except the abstract except th- no. It's done. Done and ready to send and... that's it. I don't need to do anything thesis-related for the following month or so. I admit that it didn't sink in yet, and I'm still in fight or flight thinking that there's still shit left to do, even though there isn't.

Every time I look at my thesis project I find a different issue in which fixing it would make me have to change at least three sections so yeah. That's fun. I thought I was done with the intro but now that I'm getting all the pieces together they just!! don't fit!! so I need to fix them!!

I also tried to fix my sleep schedule last night and slept for 9 hours, BUT I felt half-awake for all of those and was drifting in and out of a light nightmare. CAN I LIVE CAN I JUST LI-

Done with the intro (FINALLY)!! I still gotta write the abstract and deal with some details like phrasing and such, but my brunt of my project is done, I think. Just scheduled a meeting with my advisor to go through everything on monday, and I very much hope she likes it. Like please. Please like it I don't want to have to look at this again-

My mini roses are thriving this year 🌹

I'm almost, almost done with my intro; the thing that bothers me the most is that I can't really do bits and pieces of it each day, because picking up where I left off is kind of a terrible idea bc of how much time it takes for me to remember what the fuck I was thinking then. Instead!! I gotta write for 4 hours with no breaks and get big chunks of it done at a time or else.

hi :) it's been a while, hasn't it

So much has happened in a month, and I have a bunch of pics that I took but never posted. I think I kept saying that I was going to do that eventually, and... here we are. These are from today though! lol

Cooked apples and raisins for the win :)

I feel kinda ashamed about how little I've studied these past couple days. My exams were delayed, and now that I don't have those dates pushing me forward I just - don't study. I've been wanting to, truly, so much that it mentally hurts; but I also did everything in my power to avoid it. I can't understand.

That's an old pedometer that I got as a gift a few years back :) I finally learned how to use it, and it's so satisfying. I don't think I'll use it much, though, because of the clicking noise it makes; but it's nice nonetheless.

That said, I'm in graph theory hell still. It's so bad and it makes me lose sleep out of sheer anxiety, and still I can't manage to study for more than 4h a day. And those aren't even at my best or fully focused.

I bought new earrings, and started wearing silver (whereas I only wore steel before). The price difference isn't so great somehow, and there are so many more options?? Let's see how long I can go before they oxidize though 😭

That lil ant is me, and I am her. I feel u girl

Essentially had an anxiety attack yesterday just as I was laying in bed trying to sleep bc HM. MY EXAM IS LIKE IN HOW MANY DA-

It's next week. I don't know shit. I have another one, two weeks from now. I don't know shit. An assignment for thursday, and two sections of my project for then too.

I've been wondering how I can feel so happy and satisfied with the process of dancing itself, instead of just the end result, but sitting down to do research or study is genuinely worse than pulling teeth.

Like I know those are completely different, but?? I'm capable of focus when I'm moving, looking in the mirror and getting instant feedback about it, but I can't think of a way to replicate that with studying.

New muggggg what do we think ❤️

I haven't really studied the past couple days, but something that has been giving me some sense of accomplishment is my workout schedule - I've been taking a brisk walk, strength training and dancing most days now :))))

I can't stress enough how sedentary I've become since... covid, maybe? Or even before that. In and out of routines and with months of literally nothing at all in between. So getting that done has been doing wonders for my physical AND MENTAL health, which is something I didn't expect.

I got the work plan section done and was very happy with it, but it's just the tip of the iceberg. My advisor has been less helpful than I expected, which got me feeling a bit discouraged, ngl.