Nyx

Hi there, it's Nyx 🍵

She/her, INTJ - 5w4

CompSci Master's candidate

Former musician, dancer, writer; sold my soul for stem

✨ chronic procrastinator ✨

youtube channel || storygraph || 2nd tumblr

Had one exam today, and will have another one in two days. The problem is that this one was shit - like, very much worse than I expected, and I put all my cards into this one bc I thought I had the most chances with it.

So I gotta cram a whole semester tomorrow for the other class, WHILST knowing I fucked this one up; so I'm gonna fail both of them, probably. I don't even want to think about that.

I have two exams for next week. I did start studying, but the most I can focus is 2h in a day and I feel so guilty. Today I didn't do anything except worry, and I've also been sleeping like shit bc I feel bad for not studying enough.

say hi to another little friend 🐦

I'm officially done with my thesis project (not The Thesis, just the project, BUT EVEN SO) 🎉🎉

No, it's not except the abstract except th- no. It's done. Done and ready to send and... that's it. I don't need to do anything thesis-related for the following month or so. I admit that it didn't sink in yet, and I'm still in fight or flight thinking that there's still shit left to do, even though there isn't.

Every time I look at my thesis project I find a different issue in which fixing it would make me have to change at least three sections so yeah. That's fun. I thought I was done with the intro but now that I'm getting all the pieces together they just!! don't fit!! so I need to fix them!!

I also tried to fix my sleep schedule last night and slept for 9 hours, BUT I felt half-awake for all of those and was drifting in and out of a light nightmare. CAN I LIVE CAN I JUST LI-

Done with the intro (FINALLY)!! I still gotta write the abstract and deal with some details like phrasing and such, but the brunt of my project is done, I think. Just scheduled a meeting with my advisor to go through everything on monday, and I very much hope she likes it. Like please. Please like it I don't want to have to look at this again-

My mini roses are thriving this year 🌹

I'm almost, almost done with my intro; the thing that bothers me the most is that I can't really do bits and pieces of it each day, because picking up where I left off is kind of a terrible idea bc of how much time it takes for me to remember what the fuck I was thinking then. Instead!! I gotta write for 4 hours with no breaks and get big chunks of it done at a time or else.

hi :) it's been a while, hasn't it

So much has happened in a month, and I have a bunch of pics that I took but never posted. I think I kept saying that I was going to do that eventually, and... here we are. These are from today though! lol

Cooked apples and raisins for the win :)

I feel kinda ashamed about how little I've studied these past couple days. My exams were delayed, and now that I don't have those dates pushing me forward I just - don't study. I've been wanting to, truly, so much that it mentally hurts; but I also did everything in my power to avoid it. I can't understand.

That's an old pedometer that I got as a gift a few years back :) I finally learned how to use it, and it's so satisfying. I don't think I'll use it much, though, because of the clicking noise it makes; but it's nice nonetheless.

That said, I'm in graph theory hell still. It's so bad and it makes me lose sleep out of sheer anxiety, and still I can't manage to study for more than 4h a day. And those aren't even at my best or fully focused.

I bought new earrings, and started wearing silver (whereas I only wore steel before). The price difference isn't so great somehow, and there are so many more options?? Let's see how long I can go before they oxidize though 😭

That lil ant is me, and I am her. I feel u girl

Essentially had an anxiety attack yesterday just as I was laying in bed trying to sleep bc HM. MY EXAM IS LIKE IN HOW MANY DA-

It's next week. I don't know shit. I have another one, two weeks from now. I don't know shit. An assignment for thursday, and two sections of my project for then too.