hi! this is a new blog! i've been existing on tumblr for a while in other fandoms and lurking in a bunch of mcyt spaces for some time now, but vampires smp ending has compelled me to start interacting so new blog time!
i also exist somewhat on ao3 and i occasionally draw! i'd like to post my art things here and link my fics if i can post them before the hyperfixation leaves me.
disclaimer: i am a university student and sometimes very chronically offline i'm sorry in advance for being ridiculously inconsistent with my presence. it will happen again.
other disclaimer i am a huge fan of my queue and use it liberally. your post was queued with love <3
edit:
frequently asked question how should i refer to you?
you can call me nish or ceru or ceruleanish or cerulean… whatever works.
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AAUUUUGHH MLP AU PART 2!!! WITH 3 WHOLE NEW DESIGNS!
I’m back to drawing them and my brain is having so many thoughts its crazy so big yap under cut
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WHOA! Grian hiding that he’s actually a super powerful being!? Who could have seen that coming!
Grian being a draconequus just makes sm sense to me as its this universes version of a watcher/god in my eyes
I also think the chaos just fits his character so well and him not really being confined to one thing. However, I’m not sure what all he should be made up of, I’ve used what animals I’ve seen him associated with but I’d like some more variation and I’ve just realized he’s missing his horns!! So if you have any ideas for animal parts to include pls tell me in the comments ^^
Next up we have Cub horse!!! Cub is also a changeling disguised as a pony- which i haven’t really drawn his changeling design yet cause he’d look almost identical to Scar
Convex changeling lore dump: I imagine that Cub and Scar formed a strong sibling like bond while growing up in the hive, each looking out for the other in such a hostile environment. Eventually tho, somehow they get separated ( possibly Scar wanting to leave and Cub wanting to stay?) in any case, Scar goes on to travel around Equestria disguised as an earth pony selling wares (Trixie style lol) while sustaining himself on the locals love, specifically traveling to towns having big festivals or celebrations with lots of love and joy going around (the celebrations serving as a feast and a money haul) Eventually tho, Scar happens upon the town Grian and Mumbo are in (not far enough into the lore to think of what town theyre in yet lol) and they end up becoming close and finding out he’s a changeling. And somewhere in all that Cub finds Scar somehow and convex is reunited!
I have no clue what timeline this in or where they’re located, but this is all for fun so who knows how deep I’ll get into this lol
And finally- Gem! I made her a kirin, the reason being that i feel it mixes the fandoms association of her with a deer and her dragon theme this season. Also they are very cool and fluffy and tbh this species was just made for her i swear
Also got the idea for the animatic late one night and it was too funny not to make (and fun note- scar looks so stressed because being anywhere near a princess is an incredibly dangerous scenario for them, as changelings are not reformed in this au and are practically hunted if found out)
Anywho- I’m still not done with my magical girl au (I’ll get to that god form grian one day i swear) but I will def be back with more random lore and doodles for this au as well (they take turns living rent free in my head)
Hello please ramble about how much you liked it that bloodletting did not work out
Lmao oh I am going to make you regret opening up that can of graveyard worms >:D
Short answer: I think it would have been very, very difficult to pull off the kind of narrative heel-turn required to get bloodletting to work out, and the tragedy route was much more consistent with their personal character arcs.
Do I think it's possible that they could have pulled off a satisfying Good Ending where bloodletting wins? Sure. cc!Owen & cc!Legs are both good story tellers and I'm not gonna rule out that possibility. It's kinda like saying you should never switch tenses in fiction; it's not actually a hard and fast rule, but it is super easy to do it badly.
By the time we get to the final episode, we have Owen & the doctor's character arcs set up. We have Owen, who has set his dead lover on a pedestal that Louis has only avoided falling off by dying before Owen could face the reality that no one is perfect, now clinging on to the illusion that the doctor is an echo of that.
And we have Legs, the war criminal who's using Owen as a vicarious path to redemption (if this killer can change his ways, maybe I can too), who has made it quite clear he thinks the world will be better without him.
These two are on such a downward spiral, the Incy Wincy Spider wants royalties.
And this is not a, uh, a "oh, they can only be redeemed through death" kinda deal. This is a "these two self-destructive train wrecks are racing each other to the bottom" sorta thing. The brakes are there. Nobody's using them.
To deconstruct the amount of toxic fuckery going on here (in any well-paced manner) would take far more than the single episode we had by the time Ep8 rolled around. I vastly prefer getting a tragedy that is following the trajectories of their arcs, rather than a desperate attempt to paper over their flaws and multiple issues to give a happy, cutesy ending.
Just as a quick run-down of character threads that would be needed to be tied up to give them a 'they end up together' conclusion:
Owen's black-and-white morality
Owen's grief (and subsequent anger)
Owen's focus on Legs as a Louis replacement
Legs' focus on Owen as proof that redemption is possible
Legs coming to terms with his own actions from the war
Legs actually wanting to live
For instance, a major step to un-dysfunctioning this situation is having them recognise the other as their own person (not as a replacement or a reflection), but Owen's grief immediately roadblocks that. Because if he cares for the doc, then the doc must be At Least as good a person as Louis, and if he's not, then Owen is betraying Louis' memory by letting someone 'worse' than Louis replace him.
To have Owen overcome that would be very difficult to do without feeling like his nature is being overwritten for the sake of The Good Ending.
(And this doesn't even cover the fact that the "see each other as their own person" does not immediately segue into shipping. All it does is even the playing ground for them to learn who the other is - after that comes the "liking them for who they are," but that's a whole other arc.)
Like, it can be done. Absolutely. Reversal does a very good job of that - but there is a reason it is 55K words long and puts both of them through the wringer, and the outcome is still not soft fluff. You may not be able to make a horse drink, even if you lead it to water, but sometimes you can dump it down the well for good measure anyway.
(Basically: if VSMP had gone on longer, I could have seen bloodletting reaching an understanding, but by the end of Ep7, I don't see how they could have turned it around without it feeling forced.)
The narrative had also set up certain expectations which would have felt... hollow, if we'd gone down the "and bloodletting skipped happily off into the sunset". Each of their 'major' interactions ups the outcome - we have their initial talk, then the bloodletting, and then the death by the lake - so, by the time we reach Ep8, there's a sense that their next meeting was always going to end in something Final.
And finally, I just think it's neat.
By the time a lot of us got on the bloodletting bandwagon, it felt like Owen & Legs' characters had clicked into place. The broad strokes of their personalities were established, their opposing views aired, their view of the other warped - these were two arcs set on tragedy, and it was so much fun to see that descent, built decision by decision. It's like when the roller coaster pauses at the top of a sudden drop and you know it's all downhill from here, but it's gonna be one hell of a ride :D
This will be a series of pieces in which I'll sketch the eyes of vsmp characters. I've been wanting to do a small project like this for a while, but I've never had the energy to do it full-rendering-style. Well, let it be at least a sketch. I mean, it's definitely better than never ever bring my idea to life at all.
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Here's chapter 1 of a longfic that was my top priority for a while and has since moved to backburner for a little while for reasons outside of my control. VSMP post-canon with a canon divergence: what if everyone escaped Oakhurst alive? What if they planned to kill Scott and cure the others, but things didn't quite go according to plan? What if Pyro got the ending they deserved? ~100 years on. Pyroscythe-centric. Main relationship is fledgeling duo [Pyro & Shelby] (platonically, they are the besties of all time to me).
Warning what follows is extremely silly. I started this as a bit and it got a tad out of control.
Shattered Glass is a Clue, Chapter 1
You will have to remind me exactly how much money I placed on that bet we made, should I survive this journey, for I believe I owe you a hefty sum. In hindsight, it was foolish indeed to believe my past could not come back to haunt me, considering how heavily I contend with it on a daily basis.
As you are well aware, by this point, I did not return from my scholarly journey to Oakhurst entirely intact. Perhaps it was shortsighted of me to deceive you—and for that I am sorry—but I did purposefully withhold the extent to which my time in that haunted town affected the subsequent course of events of my life. In my defense, I truly believed I would never see any of my old acquaintances again and that, with your help, I would easily be able to blend in with the greying mortal scholars of this place. I was mistaken, obviously.
I was grading late into the night last night. You need not treat me again to one of your signature lectures chastising my frequent procrastination, as I was punished sufficiently by the circumstances. In particular, I spent hours listening to distant clacking of typewriter keys and obnoxious slurping of coffee from down the hall. It seems we have another coworker who would be more deserving than myself of your scorn over work the night before a deadline, no? The sounds were excessively irritating–I even considered briefly shutting my door, which I am loath to do at this time of year, as my office tends to get uncomfortably drafty at night when I do so–but I resolved that it was my cosmic punishment for my hubris, and I was nearly done, in any case. However, when I found myself running out of ink, I admit I was less than graceful accepting the minor setback. I toyed with the idea of saving myself the headache of refilling it by simply skipping out on annotating the remaining three papers, and quickly decided that I would rather avoid the evil eye from the higher-ups in the department, this week.
It was a quest in its own right to rummage through my desk drawer in search of more ink, and only more trouble to locate a syringe to refill it. For a pen that was coined for being infinite, I find these fountain pens rather a nuisance.
In any case, I was frozen before I could make my way back to my seat with my newly recovered materials by a glimpse of a shadow in the hallway outside my just-barely-ajar door. Now, I don’t take myself for the sort that’s easily spooked, especially not in my own place of work, and especially not given the horrors I’ve been privy to in my lifetime, but I admit I felt my stomach twist at the sight. I took a breath and steadied myself, for I am a scholar, not a character in a horror novel, and opened the door.
A figure revealed herself, auburn hair in long curls behind her, standing just beyond the threshold, looking just as she did the day we met. My dear old friend Shelby stood there, staring at me–oh, how odd it was to see her wearing her glasses again–and said simply, by way of greeting, “may I come in?”
“It’s not my home,” I breathed, “you don’t need an invitation.” I had meant to put some degree of lightheartedness into it, but as I write this, I am certain that I both looked and sounded as if I had seen a ghost.
I brought them into my office and closed the door. They fidgeted with the hem of their deep green sweater vest, as they were typically wont to do when they had news they feared the other party would take poorly. Naturally, I began to fear the worst, running through a list in my head of potential tragedies that could have befallen them, and preparing my response accordingly for each.
I couldn’t have possibly prepared for what she did say.
“I need your help, I think I found him.”
My stomach twisted again, and I found myself incapable of speech–a fact which I am sure you will find great humour in, if you even believe it true. I listened to the click-clack of the wall clock behind me while Shelby only grew more anxious and fidgety in front of me.
I had a great many questions, namely, are you sure? And how do you know it isn’t a trick? And do you think it is even a good idea to find him? But the one I gave voice to was, “why me?”
I heard myself sound miles away from my ears, my voice wavering as if I was a boy prince being led to the gallows for his father’s crimes and not a professor catching up with an old friend, albeit in an unexpected circumstance.
This is where my deceit of you comes in: I had told you I was cured of my vampirism before I left Oakhurst one century ago (and I had, of course, slightly fudged the timeline of my life to explain my longstanding youthful appearance) and left that town as a man, a haunted man, but a man nonetheless. You see, that is what I wished had happened, but I was unfortunately not so lucky, for my sire yet lives.
And my good friend believes I am the key to finding him.
While I call Shelby a friend, and I stand by such a statement, she and I had very different relationships with the former leader of our brood. While I was relieved that he had disappeared from Oakhurst without a trace, she spent nights pacing and asking why. After leaving that place, I honestly had half a mind to try to follow him, to stick by my coven and find a way to exist in the world in my new form. When it became clear to me that I would have better luck trying to find allies in an academic institution, who could help me rewrite my identity (in case this is my last opportunity to reaffirm my gratitude: thank you again, by the way) to live a normal life while avoiding suspicion than spending these long years actively pursuing the man who put me in such a position, Shelby did not agree, evidently. She continued the mission to find him, all these years, and now, it seems she is finally making progress. She would not contact me otherwise. She knows better than anyone the fear in my heart for that vampire.
My sire is cruel as they come, and as dastardly as the children’s stories about the creatures of the night. Perhaps some of those stories were born out of fear of him precisely. In fact, the reason he fled the town is likely because he knew we were devising a plot to kill him, to prevent him from terrorizing the world as he had us, once we finally found a route to freedom. Were it up to me, I think I would still kill the guy, however, she would not stand for that. She says she needs my help putting the final pieces together and finally meeting him again, and I have agreed to help her. She begged me, really, and after all the horrors we’ve seen together, I was weak to it.
You may think me insane for such a thing, to which I would not protest. However, unlike Shelby, I predict you understand that I do not seek out this man with intentions of friendship. We are not the only people searching for him, you see, and there is an organization I know of that would be extremely interested in his whereabouts. I assume he knows this, too, and that is why he has not revealed himself to us yet. I plan to let Shelby have their reunion, as any good friend would, and then write a detailed report on our findings. What happens after that is out of my hands, though I would not complain if it resulted in my freedom back to mortal life.
Again, I regret that the truth about my existence had to come to light in such a drastic way. I never had a flair for the dramatic before my trip to Oakhurst, and I suspect it was a trait I picked up from the relationships I made there, but I digress.
I am leaving this letter to inform you of my whereabouts, and to serve as my final testament should I perish on this search. Though as I’m sure you know, I would not be making this risky venture if I was not certain I was on the verge of finding something. By the time you arrive at work this morning, I will have already departed. I hope this goal will not take me more than the weekend to achieve, as I have no doubts there will be an excess of work for me to complete upon my return.
In any case, I will see you again on Monday, if I am still alive (at least, as much as I can be, given what I have divulged to you above) and in the meantime, I would greatly appreciate your continued discretion on my true nature.
How I feel when no moona stream for twenty days! slash silly.
OMGG CERU THIS IS AMAZING 😭😭
When you said that you were staying up to draw it i genuinely thought you were joking, I’m so glad i was wrong
Giggling and kicking my feet at this ITS THE LIL GUY AS A COOKIEGJAAAHHHHHKSHS
Side note tho- I’m thinking that me not streaming shall change with an earlybird stream this friday meheheheh (earlybird being like 11am cst lmaoo i am not a morning person but the want to stream may be stronger)
How I feel when no moona stream for twenty days! slash silly.
OMGG CERU THIS IS AMAZING 😭😭
When you said that you were staying up to draw it i genuinely thought you were joking, I’m so glad i was wrong
Giggling and kicking my feet at this ITS THE LIL GUY AS A COOKIEGJAAAHHHHHKSHS
Side note tho- I’m thinking that me not streaming shall change with an earlybird stream this friday meheheheh (earlybird being like 11am cst lmaoo i am not a morning person but the want to stream may be stronger)
Credit where credit is due, @lungmold's legundo design was so good I had to use it as a reference for mine. Him being a bear has been on my mind since the thought of doing his design became a thing.
Recently, it's been stated that Avid & Marmalade have been secretly been lying and manipulating ppl close to them, which I don't stand by at all. So I've edited the fanart with Avid & Legs to just have Legs, and won't make fanart including him going forward.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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