welcome to my house. tag directory below for my own reference
cherry valley forever
todays bird
we're not kids anymore.

çĽćĽ / Permanent Vacation

Stranger Things

â

shark vs the universe
đŞź
$LAYYYTER
styofa doing anything

⣠Chile in a Photography âŁ
Keni
trying on a metaphor
Show & Tell
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year

pixel skylines
Jules of Nature

JVL

blake kathryn
seen from TĂźrkiye

seen from United States
seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States

seen from Malaysia
seen from Germany

seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from India

seen from Malaysia
seen from Germany
seen from Netherlands

seen from United States
seen from India

seen from Japan
seen from Japan

seen from United States

seen from United Kingdom
seen from United Kingdom
@certifiedshaniac
welcome to my house. tag directory below for my own reference

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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When theyâre in the middle of a blowout argument and Ilya canât resist trying to tell Shane to get on his knees to convince him and it has like a 50/50 chance of working and totally derailing whatever they were fighting about or itâs a complete failure & sends Shaneâs anger levels to the stratosphere
"A moment that put things in perspective for me was when Liv Chu-Ouellette, on a stage surrounded by thousands, held up the Walter Cup. She was a month old when Les Canadiennes raised the banner for their 2017 Clarkson Cup championship at a 576-seat community rink"
-Kirsten Whelan, reporter with The Victory Press
To be clear. Shane's whole thing about Ilya being a Sex God is because of the limerence. Ilya is nineteen and he can get a rhythm going and that's about it. He was throwing shit at the wall when he hit that 'Get on your knees' in Nashville but only he knows that because Shane's brain turned OFF. Ilya said "Let's do a little experiment here" and the results were "Oh my god oh my god oh my god." Shane came hands free because he was that obsessed with the idea of Ilya Rozanov being inside him. Ilya said "Do you like that do you like that" because he's nineteen and he needs the validation and Shane was like "YES YES YES I LIKE IT OH MY GOD YOU'RE SO DEEP YOU'RE SO GOOD" and objectively. It was okay. Ilya fully did not know where to put his hands a couple of times. He forgot about Shane's dick. Luckily, Shane is God's special angel who can come from the idea of Ilya's cockhead being in proximity to his prostate a few times. Mind over matter, says Shane Hollander's dick. And then Ilya said "Oh God Hollander" because it was also, objectively, one of the hottest things that had ever happened to HIM, Ilya Rozanov. Shane sits on that step afterwards plotting about how he's gonna get this over and over and over again for the rest of his life and he has no idea that there are women in Boston who have Ilya listed in their contacts as "Hockey Guy 6/10". Shane Hollander cannot fathom a world in which Ilya Rozanov doesn't lay the maddest pipe this side of Lake Michigan. "Ilya Rozanov is a some kind of nineteen year old sex God" No Shane honey he was just designed in a lab to score goals and make you cum and he's done scoring goals for the night.
friend texted me

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the unstoppable force is tonguing the immovable object and it seems to be enjoying the experience
barbara kruger - untitled (your devotion has the look of a lunatic sport), 1981-1983
gelatin silver print
morning run
(shower scene will be on patreon)
whatever enmeshment yuna and shane have would be blown out of the water by ilya and irina if irina was still alive

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i love Not to jump the gun here but with rozanovâs permissionâŚ? i think shane in that scene was feeling fiercely protective over another person for the first time in his life. so bowled over by the intensity of his own emotions that he stumbled back to his hotel room in a daze and immediately jerked off in the shower about it. âwhat if rozanov got arrested and i had to use my immense hockey wealth to bail him out of jail and it was winter in boston. so he had hypothermia. and he had to live with me while we sorted out the legal situation and i yelled at journalists for him and helped him with his paperwork and hired the best lawyer in the world and nursed him back to health and he was like âhollanderâŚâŚ..you saved my life đĽşâ and he fucked me soooo hard every night for stress relief (obviously he couldnât fuck other people. due to the lawsuit) and we fell asleep in each otherâs arms afterwards. because thereâs only one bed in my apartment and heâs too tall for the couchâ stuff like that. normal fantasies
top ten shane hollander shower fantasies:
⢠holding ilyaâs hand while they cross a busy street full of hazards (potholes, roadworks, etc)
⢠rescuing ilya from kidnappers (he kicks down the door)
⢠rescuing ilya from a burning building (bridal carry)
⢠fighting in a gladiatorial ice hockey arena for ilyaâs hand in marriage
⢠massaging ilyaâs bad knee and ilya says with wonderment âwowww wow. shane youâre so good at this⌠you are better than every physical therapist on earth probablyâ
⢠saying âhe asked for no picklesâ to the mcdonalds cashier
⢠carrying ilyaâs bags
⢠washing ilyaâs hair
⢠applying oâkeefes working hands cream to ilyaâs calluses
⢠fuck or die
ilya telling shane about irina and how they were best friends and he hung out with her all the time and he was her protector and he would skip school on her bad days to brush her hair and make sure she ate something even if it was just tea and she was an angel and you know shane is calculating how best to gently bring up to his husband that that doesnât sound like it was very fair to child ilya without ilya reacting like a wild fucking animal
ilya comes back from therapy with galina like three months after this fight (of course it was a fight) and with the same candor as ashley padilla in then mom confession sketch goes iâm only going to say this once and iâm only going to say it if after i do you promise you will not react no talking no faces no nothing and shaneâs on the couch reading like uh. whatâs going on? and ilya goes what i have to tell you. Is that I think I was treated unfairly. By my mom. and of course shane makes a face and ilya is reacting like a wild fucking animal
Maybe if I just work harder, this empty cup will pour again
Maybe the cup needs a bit of time to rest and refill?
Maybe the cup needs to lock the fuck in???
Interviews with hockey players are fantastic, because it is a complex game that can be spoken about at length, but during the intermission they'll find the Wettest player imaginable on the losing team and for thirty seconds they'll ask them things like "what do you need to do to get more pucks in the net?" And the player (panting, haunted behind the eyes) says something like "well, we've got to get them in there"
me in the echo chamber: exactlyyy, literallyyyy

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on shane
Foreword to Crush, Louise GlĂźck