Part of the whole thing of remembering that abusers are people too and not fundamentally different monster-people is remembering that abuse is easy to do. It doesn't require particular malice, effort, or thought on your part, and you can very easily do it without realizing that it is in fact abuse. And it's made a thousand times easier if you're in a dynamic where outside context gives you power over your victim. I understand there's a very strong kneejerk emotional reaction to the word "abuse"/"abuser", but it's not some special class of activity or class of person. And the point of my argument here is not necessarily that you should be kinder to people who have abused others, its to keep in mind that you absolutely have the potential to be an abuser, especially if you have privilege over someone else.
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