internet garbage disposal

I'm sorry guys I know no one is going to want to hear this but I just got resuscitated after being dead for 5 minutes and it turns out hazbin hotel is true

honestly an incredibly disrespectful and tasteless comment to make on my post about my very real experience of dying and going to hazbin hotel

teamwork makes the dream work. and dreamwork. makes shrek

what’s the point of having a wifi network and not naming it something like this

This is my joy.

🛜

it pains me to say it but the more people talk shit about the women who wear those shorts/leggings with the weird butt seam that looks like it gives you a terminal wedgie, the more compelled I feel to take the women’s side

ohhhhhh my godddddddd you saw someone wearing really tight revealing pants in public? should we throw a party? should we invite goody proctor

and while we’re at it, I’m done worrying about cameltoe. I don’t have time to be pulling and tugging at my clothes all day. if you can see the outline of my pussy you should say thank you and go about your business

Please stay

none pizza with left beef

It should be a rule of Tumblr to always reblog none pizza with left beef

World Heritage Post

going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room

Blue Lois

can i help you

Red Marge

jesus christ. I Am Under Fucking Attack

World Heritage Post

the second radish is 29 feet away

World Heritage Post

they want you to make fried rice

who is "they"

the wok left

how am I supposed to make fried rice if the wok left

World Heritage Post

when i was younger i had a really bad fear of danny devito when i was going to sleep so my older brother gave me a watch that he set to like 8 hours ahead so that it was always daytime on the watch when i was asleep and he told me it would confuse danny devito and he would think it was daytime and get scared of the sun and leave me alon

Your brother is the best

Who the fuck changed this from vampires to Danny devito

the real question is why I was completely ready to accept that this person had a debilitating childhood fear of Danny Devito

World Heritage Post

im quitting tumblr

ok see u tomorrow

this post is now 10 fucking years old

World Heritage Post

doctors be like "we have no idea what causes this extremely mysterious illness" and the illness is something that affects 1 in 8 women