Life's like a movie, write your own ending

give it up for girls with vaginas and boys with penises

pause i forgot cis people exist this was intended as a celebration of bottom surgery

ACCIDENTALLY LEFT MY MACERATED APPLE SYRUP ON THE STOVE AND IT CARAMELIZED I GUESS?

it was super thick and dark and golden and bubbly so i took it off the heat. happy accident.

its wild that no ones even pointed out that two of the tumblr sexyman contenders were in the same show together

Well, which one is it going to be?

having the DMV area Craigslist bookmarked has never come in handy before but now

Update, Craigslist has flagged my post as inappropriate.

My wife has now read this and wonders how baby gays are even meeting and mating

Can confirm I am meeting and mating just fine 😂

By the way I’m in a relationship with this woman now

This is the feedback I’ve been looking for

Tumblr meets Hallmark

people always talk about the doomed love timeloop when they talk about hadestown. look i love that shit as much as the next homosexual but can we please talk about the revolutionary politics. genuinely one of the best anticapitalist pieces of art of the 21st century. can we watch act 2 with our brains please

need my Tits wet with lobster butter .com

vibes who posted this

hey so uh next year will be a decade of dobonhonkeros. how about that shit huh.

[sharpening a bowie knife while mad-dogging you] we don't take kindly to strangers round here... not unless you're a Simpsons from Springfield, that is. [staring down the edge of my blade] and you're no Lisa, Bart Maggie, or Marge [stabs knife into bench] and you sure as shit are no Homer

Update: this tastes like if a baha blast could kill you and annihilates any ongoing anxiety attacks

Update update: comparing this to a long island is like comparing a pickup truck to a tank