through my teenage and young adult years i slowly became more and more of an introvert. as an introvert i thought i always thought it'd be easier being alone because i found maintaining friendships was exhausting for me because I don’t like feeling like I’m letting anyone down or not living up to their expectations. i thought through my 20s and mid 20s. that changed in my late 20s. we should never feel the need to live up to anyone's expectations, unless the one who sets up the expectation is ourselves. the older i got the more i realized how dumb it was for me to think i had to live up to someone's expectations because the reality is, i cannot read someone's thoughts or expectations of me. i can only do the best that i can from my own viewpoint. To try and do what another person views or expects out of me is wildly unfair, unhealthy, and unrealistic. i just cant read someones expectations and allow myself to feel pressured to do so. Generally, expectations are placed onto someone from someone else, usually without communication and without compromise. This differs from setting standards. Standards set a bar and a goal to reach and maintain and usually are compromised and communicated as a boundary in a relationship. making the distinction between a person's standards and a person's expectations was a huge game changer in my life. standards are inherently encouraging, positive, and relationship building. expectations are the exact opposite, they are inherently toxic, generally negative and one sided, and relationship degrading. i hope one day you'll come to know this not just in words but in practice and lifestyle.
