Fuckhuge McMike’s allegory of the cave

French people when you call it bukake and not "nut a la visage" and shibari instead of "corde attacher l'submissive"

my least favorite literary smut turn of phrase is when a guy is like “im gonna ruin this pussy” “im gonna wreck this pussy for anyone else” like stop.. thats not yours…!

the fortune teller just drew the ten of pregnant werewolves card, which could mean nothing,

???

can no one just recognize a vibe these days why do we have to hate on him

sorry to be a broken record every month but christ menstruation is a stupid concept. oooooh excuse me for not getting pregnant, why the fuck is there goo falling out of me about it? grow the fuck up and reabsorb that shit for nutrients.

sad news, my son Crispin Shopify III saw a picture of me when i was breastfeeding him as a baby. the psychiatrists all agreed that exposure to this act which is potentially incestuous and sexual was equivalent to infinite permanent sexual trauma, and so we've decided to euthanize him and just start again from the beginning. hopefully i wont fuck it up again this time. god bless.

My biggest fear is sucking my own dick on top of a snowy mountain and losing my balance so I roll down it and turn into a huge snowball all the way to the base of the mountain then months later they find my body and it’s just a frozen skeleton self sucking.

resurrected dead wife watching her own montage: wow I looked so hot in that

Ella is like those video game levels where there’s a tedious escort mission for a little old lady with 1 hit point who you have to safely lead home from the peak of Orc Fuck Mountain and the whole time you’re like how and why did you scale Orc Fuck Mountain in the first place