𝐂𝐀𝐒𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐕𝐀

“Did you bring your ferrets along?”

‘No. Niall doesn’t like cows and I heard there was a cattle farm here.’

“Camp leader? Damn, you guys know superman is just a character right?”

‘Whoa. What the fuck? You’ll be telling me Santa isn’t real next.’

“Who’re you rooming with?”

‘Florence and.. I wanna say Sage.’

Happy birthday, Perrie! 

‘I get the honour of sharing a tent with two beautiful women? Big Brother is spoiling me.’

“It’s my birthday tomorrow. Fine with not being in the same tent as Zayn but not even in the same camp? This sucks.”

‘Ugh, I know. He didn’t room me with Liam either. What’s that about?’

You’re tolerable, to say the least.

You wound me with your words, Cameron. 

Sounds like someone’s looking for an ego stroke.

Always. I’m deeply insecure and need constant reassurance.

You’ll have me on my back in no time being like that

Beautiful and forward. You just keep getting better and better. 

We didn’t fail. We completed the therapy and are stronger for it, I haven’t permanent marked our cups in months. 

Then who is? Because someone drew a dick on mine last week.

Should have swept me of my feet then Mr

And live in his shadow? I couldn’t take the pain. 

I am THE Casanova after all. 

Everything I aspire to be.

Get that spotify on!

Only if you promise to dance with me too. 

We’ll have you as Reynolds, I wanna stare into Goslings ocean coloured baby blue, I could cum just from looking at them. In fact my panties have dropped to the floor even watching his movies every so often 

That’s interesting because I was just about to watch The Notebook. 

You must not have very notable achievements then. No offense.

I don’t. Have you seen my films? I’m rubbish. 

Oof - how do the people in this place not just throw themselves at you all the fucking time? Was I supposed to? Because the only name drop I made was Mila because hot damn. I don’t disagree - Heath was special like that. Alliance of Moms. It’s a Los Angeles based charity that helps take care of teen moms in the Foster Care system. 

You were, but it’s alright. There’s still time.              Ah, Mila. My biggest fan. Be sure to mention me during the reunion. She loves it when I give her little shout-outs. Heath was one of a kind. There’ll never be another like him. Except for Matilda. She gets more and more like her father everyday. It’s eerie sometimes. That sounds like quite the admirable cause. Not that I’m surprised. You always did have a heart of gold, Portman. Far too good for the likes of me.

Can you be anymore annoying?

I know a song that’ll get on your nerves, get on your nerves..