CBBHQ STARTERS

“Can we embrace that I didn’t burn the house down cooking this, Cody is a great teacher.” Tom beamed looking at the meal before him. 

“It’s coming home! And none of you Americans will understand what I’m on about but I literally don’t care. Football is coming home!”

I’ve had a lot of high points in my career, but hearing Dame Helen Mirren wants us to pucker up in our next movie scene together? That might be the  best so far. What an honour.

I have returned like a Phoenix out of the ashes.

“So... what have I missed?”

Just when you think things can’t get any better, someone else makes a plan to arrive later this year. Lets hope they get their moms ears 

‘Hi! —— Do shots with me?’

— & It’s such a quick motion that Gage almost finds herself getting hit directly in the face, hands collecting the object near her face with a grunt. “What—” A pause as brows knit slightly. “What is this supposed to be?”

I hear some asshole called Norman Reedus just earned himself a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Not sure how the fuck I made that happen.

“Y’know, I’ve only been here for a couple of weeks but I think I’m getting the hang of this place. Question though, what exactly do you all do for fun around here? I’m itching to get my feet moving.” The male asked after swallowing some of his food.

Perrie carefully shut the door behind her, holding her hands up in mock surrender when she saw the other glance up. “Please don’t throw rotten fruit at me.”

“I forgot how fucking catchy the old Disney film songs are. If you hear someone singing hakuna matata. It’s my old ass.” 

Is it weird that I get a little giddy over the eviction announcements? —— Hear me out before we all start throwing rotten fruit! I’m always so freaking sad to see people go. It’s a real downer. But I can’t be the only asshole who gets a kick outta not seeing their name on the list, right? Like, damn, general public. You kept me in over Luke Evans? I’ve heard that dude sing in the shower. I got nothin’ on him, yet here I am. It does wonders for the almost-50 ego within. — Sorry, guys. Aunt Sandra loves ya, she does. She’s just getting old. She’s gotta get her kicks wherever she can find them. I give you all full permission to laugh and dance when I do indeed get the boot. It’s happened once, it’ll happen again. 

I’ve just found out there’s a spa that has a specific Harry Styles themed package. They play my songs while completing treatments and apparently their picnic hamper doesn’t include olives, or beetroot, ‘cause ‘M not a fan. —— But here’s where it gets weird. Apparently they also have a candle that smells like me. I’m not sure how I feel about this part. How did they do their research? Has someone in the house been sniffing me and reporting back? Has someone outside the house been sniffing me without me noticing? Do I even have a particular scent? —— There’s a lot of questions running through my head right now. Send help.

‘Wait. —— You did what?’