Fuck.

“I think Noel almost burnt the kitchen down, and think that’s probably the biggest thing How you doing?”

‘Well, that doesn’t surprise me at all. But really, not much has been happening? That sucks, to be honest. I’m doing good, yeah. Glad to be back, surprisingly.”

“Gonna be honest I ain’t been doing anything but Cami, so I dinny know the fucks been on round here.”

“For fuck sake Jack”

“Honestly not much has been going on around here, you been okay?”

‘Guessing its been a bit boring then? Um, yeah I’m good. Just excited to see my man again really. Have you been ok?”

Thanks kid, we are fucking made up

I can imagine, honestly. How far gone is she?

“Well big brother has ended, the earth fell apart and I’m deciding how long until I have to eat my scrunchie.” 

“Big Brother ended? Why are we still here then?”

‘Me, I hope, ‘cause the feeling is mutual.’

“Oh I fucking missed you, babe. Absolutely. Come here”

‘Aliens took over the house. We’re now their servants.’

‘Well, shit. I missed a lot then huh?’

‘I traumatised my daughter for life, but that’s just a typical Tuesday. Where’d ya go, Mrs Negan?’

“How did you traumatise your daughter for life? Oh, just a friend emergency. All is okay now though.”

‘I might not be the best person to ask. I’ve been sleeping a lot.’

“Oh yeah, totally understandable. So you’ve probably missed everything anyway. Got it.”