PLAYBOY

“Wow. Well. —— At least it wasn’t during the real deal. That would’ve been a whole new world of embarrassing. I mean, I’ve been called a maneater before, but a man-breaker? That’s new.’ 

“Least in the real thing the person might actually believe me, hopefully not die laughing like you did. You get to hold the title of the only woman who ever broke Paul Wesley’s finger during fake sex. That is a title you should treasure forever.”

How does one keep their flaws small? I wasn’t aware flaws were something we picked. 

Year of practise 

.. I guess that’s a valid point. I can’t fault their creativity either. It takes a real imagination to think up something this unique. 

Exactly, there are so many things people find a creative outlook in, these people’s ones are just you

She was! And believe me, she’s an even bigger dream in real life than she is on the screen. Far more impressive than me and my debateable wrinkles. 

I can totally believe it that woman is like walking talking talent. I think the two of you certainly on the same level though you and your non existence wrinkles and all. 

There’s nothing wrong with a bit of healthy character development, smug stuff. 

What if the characters already ten out of ten 

“I’m not actually going to give you a list.”

“Well there’s my afternoon plans dashed,”

MONICA: You're gonna make me come to you?

MONICA: That's not very gentleman-like.

PAUL: Where are my manners

Ah, well. That must make it easier. 

Exactly, just keep your flaws small and you’ll never forget them

‘I didn’t forget. I just.. — I kind of always assumed it was you being dramatic. Did you seriously break a finger during one of our sex scenes?’

“I still have the x-ray picture and everything! Yes I broke my finger during one of our sex scenes. Can’t believe you still don’t believe me.”

“Want a list?”

“Sure thing, I’m interested to know.”

She’s definitely my mini me! It’s only getting worse the older she gets. She’s got the sass and the goofiness and the quick wit. She gives me a taste of my own medicine daily! I go see her ever weekend and teach her dance class tuesday night if you want to come see her. 

So it’s just another, surprised you guys haven’t teamed up and taken over the world. I’ll join you on one of those trips, gotta see how many curses I can teach her when you’re not looking

The public can be fucking brutal. I’ve still never forgiven them for voting my Jodie off. — Oh, sweetie. You’re sweet, but there’s been 16 more seasons since then. Probably about sixteen-hundred more wrinkles too. 

Jodie Comer was here? Damn I missed out that woman is a walking talking talent. I call bullshit, not on the season’s but on the wrinkles.

Perrie carefully shut the door behind her, holding her hands up in mock surrender when she saw the other glance up. “Please don’t throw rotten fruit at me.”

“Why would someone throw fruit at such a beautiful woman?”

Is it weird that I get a little giddy over the eviction announcements? —— Hear me out before we all start throwing rotten fruit! I’m always so freaking sad to see people go. It’s a real downer. But I can’t be the only asshole who gets a kick outta not seeing their name on the list, right? Like, damn, general public. You kept me in over Luke Evans? I’ve heard that dude sing in the shower. I got nothin’ on him, yet here I am. It does wonders for the almost-50 ego within. — Sorry, guys. Aunt Sandra loves ya, she does. She’s just getting old. She’s gotta get her kicks wherever she can find them. I give you all full permission to laugh and dance when I do indeed get the boot. It’s happened once, it’ll happen again. 

There’s me thinking that the public are nice, and then they get rid of Luke Evans, Damn none of us are safe. But I refuse to believe you are almost fifty, all I see is very competitive first year doctor Yang 

I’ve just found out there’s a spa that has a specific Harry Styles themed package. They play my songs while completing treatments and apparently their picnic hamper doesn’t include olives, or beetroot, ‘cause ‘M not a fan. —— But here’s where it gets weird. Apparently they also have a candle that smells like me. I’m not sure how I feel about this part. How did they do their research? Has someone in the house been sniffing me and reporting back? Has someone outside the house been sniffing me without me noticing? Do I even have a particular scent? —— There’s a lot of questions running through my head right now. Send help.

You have got to admire people’s commitment, some people want to be a doctor an actor. Other people want to be a fan, and I can see these guys passion in that. I commend their effort 

‘Wait. —— You did what?’

“How did you forget about the broken finger!”

‘It wouldn’t be the first time. I had to do that on the Shameless set too.’

“You know I can believe that.”