yeehaw

happy pride month dykes i love you dykes

if i were in charge of star wars i would end the last movie witth yoda reading the story out of a big book and he gives a little chuckle and says "happened, none of that did." and then he gets out of his truck and waddles into walmart

cats will be like please i need you to watch me wiggle around on this carpet please hey look look please look at me i’m wiggling

tumblr I swear to god if your ads on mobile keep opening popup webpages because my FINGER touched them while I was SCROLLING because they are SO BIG that they FILL THE SCREEN AS I SCROLL PAST THEM I am going to MANIFEST SNAKES IN YOUR WALLS

if the PAGE-FILLING ADS on your INFINITE SCROLLING MOBILE APP register FINGER MOVEMENT as ANYTHING OTHER THAN SCROLLING I am LEGALLY PERMITTED to HUNT YOU for SPORT

It's okay if you're 22 and still sleep with a stuffed animal it's called having the cuddlers spirit and it's actually what gets you into heaven

tip: if you wake up on time and then lie in bed unmoving for 20 minutes you will no longer be on time