Caylee Candy

get out of bed because there’s something you’re excited about.

don’t think about people who left.

clean the clutter in the room and dishes in your sink.

smile at yourself and random people.

do something kind and out of the blue to make someone happy.

work out or meet with friends even though you have no energy to.

calm yourself down when your thoughts race.

remember to drink water.

don’t dwell on things you can’t control.

do things good for yourself, even though you have no motivation.

like my grandmother ‘loved’ me, but she also was always trying to change me.  she tried to take me away from my (catholic bisexual) mother.  she made me wear dresses when i was there.  she always tried to get me to go to church and was always asking me if i was dating a boy yet

i spent years feeling guilty that i wasn’t what she wanted me to be until my mom told me one day “she never bothered to know the real you”

and it’s true.  any time i tried to show her something about myself, even cook for her, it would be dismissed, and a replacement would be offered.  even northern food was somehow a sin.  

she loved me what she thought i should be, she never loved me.  

Digitalized some of the drawings I did traditionally over in Japan! Ahhh it’s so nice to have my tablet back!

So @actualaspie and @feathersketch had a vampire-themed Halloween au/rp going on in the Discord the other day and boy howdy did they pile on the angst!

One scene they did had a heart-wrenching and fantastic contrast, where Christin (Aspie’s OC) was having a great time, all happy and sweet, while the brothers were out in the dark having a horrible realization. I loved it so much I decided to draw it!