ur MOM‼️

the mystery bruises you're getting aren't from anemia or something stupid like that. they're from me. i go into your house while you're asleep and softly hit you with hammers until i am satisfied

Feeling inspired... Might put off writing and think about it the whole time

formative years? aren’t they all?

show me a permanent self and i will show you a facade or a corpse

Im glad they made up romance for stories and music but can you imagine how scary it would be to deal with all that for real

did you know that you can increase the quality of your quesadilla by adding seasoning

big fan of whatever the youth is doing to torment scientology buildings

well well well if it isn’t the obvious truth which i have been running away from as fast as i possibly can all this time

whenever I tell a story I feel like Uncle Colm from Derry Girls

flirting: omggg haha that amulet is so neat! Do you mind if I hold it?

Give me the fucking amulet

How could this post possibly be relevant to the Toronto Maple Leafs

if i worked in a toxicology lab i would wear a shirt that says "I LOVE POISON"

Liquor? Um yeah bud if she’ll let me

if i could give advice to me as a teenager i would say be 25