Robin

COSMETICS:

SCOUT: Atomic Bomber - Hey, this is a set I helped name! That's fun to see in the game, I was super proud of the puns. I had no hand in making it, to be clear, though. Anyway, i think this is a really cute item, though it's a tad too similar to the Airborne Attire for my tastes. If the yellow/sky blue section of the jacket was paintable, it would be a different story, but with just the shit paintable I think its uses are unfortunately limited to "just good with Bonk! stuff". And I think that's a darn shame.

Bonk! Atomic Kicks - Now these I am a fan of. The Bonk! style falls into the same pitfalls as the Atomic Bomber, but the Crit-a-Cola style seems super versatile! It feels kind of like a white-colored alternative to the Hot Heels, which I think is super welcome. They don't blow my socks off (ha) or anything, but they're going to be really useful! Also, the shape of these is absolutely gorgeous, huge props there.

SOLDIER: Lieutenant's Cut - New hair for Soldier is always welcome! I like it a bit less than the Close Quarters Cover, admittedly, but the added cigar and moustache is more than enough to give it its own niche. Not much else to say, honestly; it's hair. It's just as widely applicable as you imagine it is!

Inglorious Patriot - This one took a bit to grow on me. And by 'a bit', I mean 'until I checked the equip region'. Soldier's shirt cosmetics typically fall into the 'coat' equip region, but this one is categorized as a proper shirt! This opens the door to... admittedly not as much fun stuff as I'd hoped, but it finally gives the Sharp Chest Pain a use so I'm happy. The Caped Crusader is another coat cosmetic that doesn't clip with it, which is nice. The Trench Warfarer doesn't clip too badly, either, though I don't really know what you would do with that. Overall, it seems pretty versatile, if a bit plain on its own, and I'm excited to see what can be done with it!

PYRO: Unknown Warrior - Military sets have never really been my thing, but for fans of them this is heaven on Earth. A helmet and mask all in one is a huge convenience, making the loadout's theme clear in only a single cosmetic. The paint region isn't my favorite, admittedly; some styles to alter the helmet's color would be hugely appreciated, but I think this will be a very fun item for military fans!

Tropical Torcher - Finally, a Hawaiian shirt for Pyro! I don't knwo why every class doesn't have one of these, really. They're super fun to play around with, and match basically anything even remotely summery. Unfortunately, most of Pyro's summery head replacements are locked behind Scream Fortress, but at least we have the Abyss Diver and the Hellscape. Mr. Juice and the Pyro Shark have little to no chance of ever getting unrestricted, frankly, so this is the best we've got.

Pyro's Overalls - These were made for the Pyro's Beanie, but I love how much care was put into ensuring they would work as a general pair of overalls as well, with the no-stripes style. The middle style seems the hardest to use, to me, though I suppose with the Vive la France you could make a french Pyro. Its main competition is the Water Waders, but honestly an overalls option without fish hooks will win out over one with a paintable sweater often enough for both to be viable at the same time.

DEMOMAN: Deadliest Match - The match aesthetic of this hat perhaps makes it a little hard to work with, though as long as you're using one of Demo's more old-timey bomb replacements it'll be welcome. Admittedly, though, I kind of feel he's kind of missing a good western shirt to match the hat. The Dustcatcher, maybe? But that clips with most of the bomb replacements... really, I think this just kind of needed a better shirt to ship with it. As it is, it's not my thing.

Bomb Blanket - I'll be honest, I don't love this thing. The double-bandolier, while conceptually super interesting, is way too busy in practice, and gets in the way of the much more interesting bit of the cosmetic, the cape. That said, I don't love the cape, either; why does it look like the team color was painted on? It's chipping, in places, meaning that was an intentional design choice. Why? It just makes it look sort of ugly. I don't really ever see myself using this.

HEAVY: Tzar Athlete - Absolutely perfect. No real notes. Maybe it would be nice for the chain to be removable, maybe it could do with a paint region, but honestly those are all nitpicks. This opens a whole new world of Heavy loadouts, and I am so, so excited for it. I wish I had more to say, but. I really feel it speaks for itself.

Barbecue Bacon Britches - I wish there was a team-colored style. Really soak in that complaint, because it's the only one you'll find here. The color of the Dark style is perfect, blending in with Heavy's default vest and the After Eight paint both expertly. The Light style admittedly seems less helpful, but having a nice in-between of the Mann of the House and the Dark style is nice. I think it would be more useful if it was team-colored, but it's still fine. All in all, this is incredibly easy to put on pretty much anything you want, and in my opinion dethrones the Hardcore Pantalone as the go-to for formal Heavy pants, on top of being a great general slotfiller.

ENGINEER: Chief Executor - Admittedly, it's a little silly, but I'll never complain about a hair+beard combo for, well, anyone. I don't love the monocle on styles 1 and 3, but style 2 is great! It's another one of those "I don't have a lot to say, it's going to be so useful it's hard to think of usecases" one. Lots of these, this case! How wonderful is that?

Vested Investor's Vest - To start off, this is one of my favorite names in the game. That aside, I think this is a great add! Engie kind of lacks general-purpose formalwear, and this seems to fill that void. The plain style is the more usable of the two, and I can already imagine plenty of usecases for it.

Standing Officer - Now this is my shit. I can already hear the complaint about how bulky it is; covering Engie's kneepads inherently will cause that problem. Personally, though, I welcome it; those kneepads would really clash with the more formal look these pants are trying to inform. Although, honestly, those shoes are simple enough that I think you could get away with them for any sort of casualwear fit, which is great for me, since those are my favorites.

MEDIC: Bald Spotter - It's funny, for sure, but not my taste. We already have a medical mirror hat for Medic, as well as a bald one, so I'm not really sure why we have this. I'm sure there's some use for it, and it's definitely well-modeled, but. This one was kind of doomed from conception, I feel.

Surgical Shroud - This one is. Interesting. I really like the concept, but at the same time I'm not really sure what to do with it. It's just so similar to the Lavish Labwear, and its differences (longer gloves and a covered face) aren't that desirable, in my eyes. People who like hiding their mercs' faces will be happy, but I don't really care for it.

SNIPER: Handsome Ranger - I need everyone to know that I said, out loud, "oh, no, why is it that color" when I first looked at this. This is so close to being so fun, but the color just completely ruins it; it doesn't match anything. Nothing more to talk about. Don't use it, don't buy it, sorry if you unbox it.

Long Shot - This one's fun; the weird colors here don't end up mattering as much just because it's a shirt; the area is big enough on its own that it doesn't necessarily need a complimenting color to look good. The style with the sheriff's badge is a little too nice, for my tastes, which is unfortunate because I love the second glove it adds. As for its other style, it feels generic enough to be decently splashable; I could see it looking nice on winter sets. Not exceptional, but I see it having use.

Night Riders - Assless chaps are very cowboy-specific; I have a hard time imagining these being particularly useful outside of that niche. That said, in that niche, they're the best out there; I'm super grateful that the Support Spurs and their giant model are a thing of the past. Not my thing, but a good add.

SPY: Delusions of Grandeur - This style of hat is very niche to naval loadouts, but for those I imagine it's going to be incredibly helpful. ...admittedly, Spy kind of struggles for good naval loadouts, but. It's fine. It'll be fine.

Unruly Ruler - This one's fun! It feels sort of like an evolution of the Distinguished Rogue, with a smaller paint region in exchange for a better silhouette. This won't let you do anything new, but it will let you do some things better. And that's nice, isn't it?

ALL-CLASS: Hard Hearing - This is very well-done, but also I can't help but feel it kind of is the same thing as the Well-Rounded Rifleman. The headphones and class logo are fun, but I'm not really sure what kind of theme they promote. I'm sure there's some great stuff to be done with it, but I just can't vibe with it.

Deadwave Communicator - My sci-fi-loving heart can't get enough of this. With how badly the Lazer Gazers last update burned me, I'm glad that we finally have a cool sci-fi visor for every class! The headphones might end up being a little hard to work around, which is unfortunate, but. Subjectively, I love it.

Beachcomber's Brim - A straw hat for every class is a genius idea I'm surprised we didn't see sooner. With all the summery stuff we've been getting, I think it'll shake out to be a really widely usable item. A splashable hat is never quite as good as a splashable misc, in my eyes, but I won't complain.

TAUNTS:

Buffoon's Bivouac - It's not quite a sitting taunt, but it is a relaxing taunt, meaning we've finally gotten one for each and every class! It even keeps up the theme of having the merc consuming something, meaning you can do it next to a Table Tantrum Heavy. This one's an immediate buy, for me. Well, as soon as the price stabilizes, anyway.

Friendly Fire - This one's cute! Pyro's been getting a lot of really good taunty taunts, lately. Like, ones that you would actually use to make fun of your enemies. This one is cute, and will certainly go great with any firefighter loadouts out there. I won;t be using it, most likely, but I like this one.

Circuit Breaker - Another one I really enjoy, and one I expect many players will, too; any and all MvM mains are going to need this one. It'll also pair super well with any more sci-fi or cyberpunk Heavies, a niche that he's actually shockingly equipped to handle with his unlocks. He just needs a good shirt for it, instead of just a bullet belt... maybe next update?

Faux-calization - This was one I was really hoping would get in! It works wonderfully as a proper taunt, and the tech of playing voicelines of different classes is a super clever one. I expect this one to end up super popular.

WAR PAINTS:

...wait, there are War Paints? Oh my god, there are War Paints! Everyone, sound the alarms! It's the day I've been waiting for!!!

Army Guns - Very basic, but I like it! It seems to match the color of the Indubitably Green paint pretty well, so if you use that a lot in your sets this will be great for you. I do feel that it may be a bit too simple, though. It kind of turns every weapon into a big green blob. Still, though, I think it's a good addition!

Beachy Boy - This one suffers a bit from 'why is it that color' syndrome; I'm not sure why the metal had to be black on BLU and brown on RED, but I still think this is a super cute paint. Normally, I don't love patterned paints like this, but the fact that they almost look painted-on really charms me. I think more could be done with that concept, in the future, and again that brown/black team coloring throws me off, but I still like it.

Die'n Dasher - I really can't tell how I feel about this one. Maybe it's because I've wanted a white-and-team-color war paint for so long, and this isn't quite what I hoped for, but. This one isn't my favorite? It makes some weird color choices, like being monotone on RED but dual-tone on BLU, and I kind of desperately wish that it was Team Spirit instead of Value of Teamwork. It's fine, it's inoffensive, but. We already had Sleek Greek for this color scheme, you know?

Krak-coated - Another 'why is it that color'! I think the pattern is nice, it's ambiguous enough to not be insanely gimmicky, but. The colors, the colors are just so weird. I think they all roughly match to paint colors, at least? That's nice. But there are so many, that I can't imagine a loadout where they would fit. Not crazy bout this one, but I do think it looks great in a vacuum.

Ocean Mapped - This one is stunning. Complaints out of the way first, I wish they chose a base that ensured the silver color would be present on the grip and handle of the weapon a little more often than they are. But, man, is that color palette amazing. Team Spirit and silver, what a combo! And the fact that the pattern almost looks like damascus, more than it does ocean waves... it's great. I love this. Almost a perfect war paint, at least form where I'm sitting now.

Sandwich Diner - This is an interesting one. I love the aesthetic, I can't get enough of the aesthetic. The colors are also great; like I said before, team color and white are always a winning combo. But... why isn't this weapon team colored? It has red and blue on both teams! I don;t think there's anything wrong with that, in a vacuum, but... it just makes matching it to loadouts that much harder. And that's a darn shame, since I really love this one.

Sideshow - Okay. Bad out of the way first: the team color is just a little off, here. Like, it looks just a little bit funky. I also think I might prefer the paint with a pattern other than stripes, I guess? If I'm really nitpicking? The good: everything else. Just look at it! The card aesthetic is one I can't get enough of, and the sort of dealer's table look of the weapon, with that black and golden-brass, matches it perfectly. It's so clean in a way I just cannot get enough of. It looks like a skin, on some weapons! It's so good!

Storage War - This is like a better Hazard Warning. The sticker usage here is genius, it really does make some of these weapons look incredible (the Rocket Launcher was so good that I thought it might have been a custom base, at first). I don't love the base metal texture, though; I don't know why it would be striped like that, and it loops kind of awkwardly on some weapons (the Scotsman's Skullcutter looks egregious). I still like it, though, and see it being very useful!

Taxi Cabbed - It's very yellow. If you like yellow, you'll like this. I think the checkers are a little busy, on some weapons, and like Army Guns it lacks a bit of detail, but I think it'll definitely be useful to someone with a particularly yellow set, and it has potential for civvie loadouts as well.

Team Union - Oh no. Oh no, I love it. And it's elite grade, so a strange Factory New one will cost me my life's savings. Oh god. Take what I said about the palette of Sideshow, remove the team color, and now you have my thoughts on this. The sort of engraved filigree look is gorgeous contrasted against the black, and the plain wood texture really helps the gold and black shine. My only complaint would be the plain black texture, it feels very plain compared to the rest of the gun. I think making it maybe a little more textured would be nice. But that's the nitpick to end all nitpicks.

OVERALL THOUGHTS:

I really am so, so happy. The cosmetics were largely kind of bad, but the good ones were really good. The new Soldier taunt is an immediate must-buy, and the bulk of these War Paints are great, some even feeling like they were made for me. This is maybe my favorite update in a while, and I cannot wait to start messing around with some of this stuff.