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@causticbicaudate

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I will not elaborate.
@sergle is correct
jax died before she could come out, and she died before she could become a better person and make any kind of amends with the people she hurt. I don't think the story was written that way by accident
she's horribly repressed and comes from horrible circumstances including homelessness. she also pushed away every hand extended to her and every chance she could have taken to get better. there were a million better decisions she could have made and she did not make them, and she caused an incredible amount of harm along the way. and still the story wants us to believe her worthy of being understood and loved
to come out would be to embody herself, to view herself as a real person, to start to leave the haze of dissociation that allows her to think of herself and everyone else as cartoon archetypes in a false world where nothing matters
she's desperate to stay in this world that she sees as false, where she's a funny cartoon character and she can still brush off the pain she causes as silly cartoon antics
it's exactly this dissociation that allows her not to take her own pain or the pain of others seriously. it was what ultimately led to her death. a jax that cannot come out is also a jax that cannot make amends
something I love about a tragic story, where a character fails to complete the arc that might have satisfied us as the audience, is that it asks us what led to the tragedy
the despair it leaves us with, the satisfaction it denies us, leaves us to yearn for things to have turned out differently. it leaves us thinking about what could have been done, what decisions could have been made, what different circumstances could have prevented the tragedy? dissatisfaction drives us to act
you're not supposed to be satisfied when she dies
I love, by the way, the matter-of-fact cut from her walking away to her already being gone. like many tragedies we experience in our lives, the news comes to us unceremoniously, undramatically, flatly. it arrives well after the moment where we could have been there. in one quiet moment the world shifts underneath our feet. at first it feels like nothing at all until the information percolates through us, manifesting first as a dull ache that feels inadequately small and insignificant
we don't get to ask "what could I have done if I were there," we can only ask "what could I have done before it got this bad?"
when a trans woman in your life commits suicide, she is not going to have tied up all the loose ends first. a trans woman's suicide is not the last page of a full life well lived. it is an abrupt end in the middle of a story that deserved to keep going
people who survive their lowest moments are the ones who get a chance to grow and make amends. far, far too many trans women do not survive

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someone fired a bullet through our bathroom wall the other day when we were gone, which is scary (but probably accidental), but the weirdest part is that we canât actually find the place where it entered from outside... the wall inside is fucked up and you can see the hole where it came through, but there is no corresponding entrance hole on the exterior of the house. somehow the outer paneling was undamaged.
I think the exterior of the house is asbestos siding which apparently hides bullet holes really well.
Thereâs also a dent on the opposite wall where the bullet bounced off, and it looks like it had a really bizarre trajectory. Anyway, the neighbors say it was from a car chase where bullets went flying everywhere, so Iâm not actually worried beyond âwow hope that doesnât happen near me againâ.
This is the most American post I have ever seen
âsomeone fired a bullet through my asbestos from a car chaseâ yeah fair
To my 25 - 35 year olds, you've reached the age where people around you are starting to give up on themselves because they think it's too late. Don't let that energy rub off on you. It's not too late.
I became a tattoo artist at 49.
Married the love of my life at 50.
Got my Class A CDL at 59.
You've got time.
As long as you're breathing, you've got time.
Please start that project you're thinking about. Post it anywhere you can. Let people see the art you can bring to the world. Please, I want to see it. Just type that first word. I believe in you!
I booted my old laptop to find a file and was once again dealt immediate psychic damage by my desktop wallpaper
I open this thing just infrequently enough that it catches me woefully off guard every single fucking time
This is an awesome use of what is probably a master's degree if not a doctorate and I am 100% thrilled that she shared it even though it was embarrassing and she squeaked.
Thank you, adorable scientist, for making people's lives better.
As an Australian, THIS WOMAN IS A FUCKING GODSEND.
this is Hannah Fry, Professor of the Public Understanding of Mathematics at the University of Cambridge and president of the Institute of Mathematics and its Applications.

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(Getting swindled by a genie) itâs like talking to a fucking tumblr user with you
the genie: how dare you say I'm fucking a tumblr user
Important rules for the "age verification" era of the internet that we're living in:
1. Do not do age verification.
2. If you have to do age verification, cheat. Do not under any circumstances give them your real ID.
The tool presents users with a 3D model they can then manipulate to, the creator says, bypass Discord's age verification system.
Oh no I dropped my link, what a horrible thing! Sure hope this doesn't get reblogged until it reaches users from the UK and Brazil!
And remember to not make a second account just to test out what works best when verifying your identity
A reminder that we still dont support Age Verification bullshit.
Paywall removed here
Aaand here's the link to the project's Github.
A verified tool that works on any potato computer that will let you bypass discord verification - promptpirate-x/discord-id-bypass-tool
If we donât microdose delusion we wonât make it through this reality babeâŚ.
So I remember reading about this study in grad school where they have a bunch of clinically depressed people and a bunch of non-clinically-depressed people a game that was partially chance and partially skill, and asked them to estimate how much control they had over the outcome.
The depressed people were far more accurate in estimating how much influence their actions had on the outcome of the game compared to their nondepressed counterparts, who consistently overestimated the effects of their own choices on their chances of winning.
Then I remember this other study (CW animal testing) where they put rats in a bucket of water that they couldnât get out of, so theyâd have to swim. There was a fairly consistent point at which the swimming rat would falter, and stop swimming, fated to drown.
Except that thatâs when the researchers would pull the rat out of the bucket, give it a nice rest warmth and a meal.
When those SAME rats who had been rescued before were put in the same situation again, they swam much LONGER than they had before.
Why? The risk was the same either way- drowning. Youâd have thought that the fear of drowning would keep them swimming to their maximum length no matter what.
The researchers conclusion was that the rescued rats had something they hadnât had the first time- they had more hope. A miraculous rescue could come, and that let them swim for longer, just in case.
I think we do microdose delusion because sometimes that little overestimation of our chances, of our luck, keeps us swimming that little bit longer, just in case something good happens. And sometimes, that little margin really does make the difference.Â
âAll right," said Susan. "I'm not stupid. You're saying humans need... fantasies to make life bearable."
REALLY? AS IF IT WAS SOME KIND OF PINK PILL? NO. HUMANS NEED FANTASY TO BE HUMAN. TO BE THE PLACE WHERE THE FALLING ANGEL MEETS THE RISING APE.
"Tooth fairies? Hogfathers? Littleâ"
YES. AS PRACTICE. YOU HAVE TO START OUT LEARNING TO BELIEVE THE LITTLE LIES.
"So we can believe the big ones?"
YES. JUSTICE. MERCY. DUTY. THAT SORT OF THING.
"They're not the same at all!"
YOU THINK SO? THEN TAKE THE UNIVERSE AND GRIND IT DOWN TO THE FINEST POWDER AND SIEVE IT THROUGH THE FINEST SIEVE AND THEN SHOW ME ONE ATOM OF JUSTICE, ONE MOLECULE OF MERCY. AND YETâDeath waved a hand. AND YET YOU ACT AS IF THERE IS SOME IDEAL ORDER IN THE WORLD, AS IF THERE IS SOME...SOME RIGHTNESS IN THE UNIVERSE BY WHICH IT MAY BE JUDGED.
"Yes, but people have got to believe that, or what's the pointâ"
MY POINT EXACTLY.â
-Terry Pratchett, Hogfather.
hey, don't just leave the quote there! the last line is what MAKES it!
"YOU NEED TO BELIEVE IN THINGS THAT ARENâT TRUE. Â HOW ELSE CAN THEY BECOME?"
I'm very taken with this metal vocalist that has a parrot who wants to participate
original by reebz_uk
Daily affirmations for tesla owners: your car is ugly as hell and everyone hates you

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the best fic you have ever read in your entire fucking stupid life: written by anonymous
They could never make me hate you, complex female character whose reaction to trauma was not pretty and digestible like how people think it should be.