ok so yue qingyuan gets pregnant. this is incredibly strange to him but you know what, might as well happen. xiao jiu is?? maybe?? the father (sex plant baby? idk) and yue qingyuan doesn't even realize it's happening at first. mu qingfang has to be like zhangmeng-shixiong. zhangmeng-shixiong you are pregnant. he thinks mu qingfang is playing a joke on him. how can HE?? be pregnant! who would let him have a family! he's a horrible brother! how could he be a parent! but he can't throw this child away. he really, deeply, and selfishly wants this child to live! this is going to be not great for the sect but he wants this. this is possibly the (1) thing he's allowed himself since... who knows when.
and mu qingfang is like ok we are going to do this. now, there is a CHANCE that xuan su is going to do something! but we don't know and we'll take every precaution, ok? and yue qingyuan is thinking ok, yes, makes sense that this one mistake has taken everything from me but nothing happens for the whole gestational period and you know what? it seems ok. yue qingyuan has been allowing himself to hope. he's become cautiously excited for this child. he's got baby blankets. he's not really thinking of a name but he can imagine this little guy swaddled in his arms and yue qingyuan is, by the time his water breaks and he's in labor, anticipatory.
he's silent the whole birth. the pain isn't even that bad, but he wants the child out, he wants the child alive, and he pushes that final time, and mu qingfang takes the baby and cuts the cord and yue qingyuan knows that the baby should be crying. it's been silent in the delivery room, and he's waiting. he's waiting.
the baby doesn't cry. He can see mu-shidi's face. yue qingyuan closes his eyes, thinks why did i expect differently, and very quietly gets up and walks out of the room.
he does not look at the corpse of his child.
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